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Matt has been using drugs
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<blockquote data-quote="slsh" data-source="post: 315310" data-attributes="member: 8"><p>Well ... not sure I'd recommend the path we're currently on. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" /> husband and I may be really wrong but it's not for lack of consideration and thought and a whole lot of tears. We're to the point where we think nothing will help thank you until thank you: a) Recognizes he needs help; b) is willing to ask for help; and c) is will to pay the cost to get help, "cost" meaning cooperation and compliance. And so we wait...</p><p> </p><p>He's living with- girlfriend and her mother. It's a very bad situation. Unemployed, lots of drug use. Very bad.</p><p> </p><p>I totally understand what you're saying about Matt being sheltered, with no skills. thank you left for Residential Treatment Center (RTC) at age 9. He's lived at home a total of 6 months since then, minus the hospital stays during those 6 months. No skills, no education, nada. </p><p> </p><p>We cannot help him if he fights us every step of the way. We cannot make him care about being malnourished, addicted, used. We cannot keep him from giving up. There are absolutely no services available for a person who refuses to use them.</p><p> </p><p>I've been on the board now for over ten years, and I've seen a lot of parents talking about how their kids have had to hit rock bottom before they started to make changes. "Rock bottom" was kind of an abstract concept to me then. I don't think I ever *really* understood how hard it is to stand by and wait. </p><p> </p><p>In thank you's case, I don't think it's preventable. No, I take that back. It *is* preventable but thank you is the only one who can do that. We can help but we can't do it all. </p><p> </p><p>So... I don't know what the answer is. My mother's heart says keeping Matt in a program as long as possible is preferrable over the alternative.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="slsh, post: 315310, member: 8"] Well ... not sure I'd recommend the path we're currently on. ;) husband and I may be really wrong but it's not for lack of consideration and thought and a whole lot of tears. We're to the point where we think nothing will help thank you until thank you: a) Recognizes he needs help; b) is willing to ask for help; and c) is will to pay the cost to get help, "cost" meaning cooperation and compliance. And so we wait... He's living with- girlfriend and her mother. It's a very bad situation. Unemployed, lots of drug use. Very bad. I totally understand what you're saying about Matt being sheltered, with no skills. thank you left for Residential Treatment Center (RTC) at age 9. He's lived at home a total of 6 months since then, minus the hospital stays during those 6 months. No skills, no education, nada. We cannot help him if he fights us every step of the way. We cannot make him care about being malnourished, addicted, used. We cannot keep him from giving up. There are absolutely no services available for a person who refuses to use them. I've been on the board now for over ten years, and I've seen a lot of parents talking about how their kids have had to hit rock bottom before they started to make changes. "Rock bottom" was kind of an abstract concept to me then. I don't think I ever *really* understood how hard it is to stand by and wait. In thank you's case, I don't think it's preventable. No, I take that back. It *is* preventable but thank you is the only one who can do that. We can help but we can't do it all. So... I don't know what the answer is. My mother's heart says keeping Matt in a program as long as possible is preferrable over the alternative. [/QUOTE]
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