Matt's huge struggle with agorahpobia

Hound dog

Nana's are Beautiful
It IS huge that Matt shared it with you. It took everything I had to share it with husband. And it was because he kept goading me to go out somewhere when I didn't want to leave the house, I felt like my back was to the wall and I came out swinging.

Honestly, until that moment I'd never really *thought* about what I was doing, not in a connected sense. I was more just reacting on automatic. That is what motivated me to go to the psychiatrist. Because I knew if I let it continue it would become severe quickly. (especially at the rate I was going)

Even now I have trouble. This halloween party I've planned for the grands.......about every half hour I'm talking myself out of cancelling it. Because it works both ways for me. I want no one to visit as well as me going out. But I'm fighting it. I nearly backed out of letting Kayla come decorate for the same reason. But easy child coached me along by reminding me how disappointed she'd be. My reward was a fun afternoon of quality time. Enough of those little rewards and it's starts to ease up. I know that, but the first time around I didn't. It was much harder that time.

I told my psychiatrist that I'd be perfectly happy being a hermit. I wasn't kidding. Still would be. But it's not healthy.

Odds are not wanting to do things is the anxiety. At least that is mostly what it is with me. I can come up with a million excuses, but it always comes down to the fact it takes me out of my comfort zone.
 
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