Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by witzend, Jul 13, 2009.
Just wondering how things went, and hoping everything is well.
Hi! I was just coming with a quick update. We have gotten the next step of his eviction filed. It was a 4 trip problem, the paperwork kept getting messed up when submitted. Been a long day today!! But it's filed. We are awaiting a fax with court documents that issue a hearing date. We are told a baliff will be present but that we should have a police officer attend with us as well, so we need to go arrange that with the local police once we have a date.
As for hospitalization, well we're in a spot where we're trying to envision all possible problems etc. So we've got the paperwork/forms to submit to get a order to have him hospitalized for 72 hours for evaluation at the psychiatric hospital. But we are holding off filing since we can ONLY be sure of 72 hours hold (anything beyond that is discretion of the doctor) we are waiting to be sure to file at the most prudent time. Right now he's been huddled up and sober as well due to "safety checks" by police etc. A sure way he can play the doctor for 3 days. But that won't last! We know it. SO it may be in our interests for him to be seen drinking as he always is, etc first, to ensure a doctor sees him first at his worst. We can go anytime to file the paperwork, but we want the "right" window of 72 hours to have him placed. Hope that makes sense, I'm tired and may not be explaining it well.
So, things are plugging away. The court date is expected to come in as being anywhere from 1-7 days from now, we SHOULD hopefully get issued a date this afternoon. If not, tomorrow morning for sure. I'm crossing fingers for a court date early this week (gosh I hope so).
That's where we are at. Thanks so much for asking !!!!
Thanks for keeping us up to date! I think that you are right to wait until the right time to file the psychiatric hold papers. I have to wonder if he will start to go through the dt's if he is not drinking? Will anyone notice the difference if he does?
Take it easy and keep your guard up. See if anyone has a security camera system you can use. That may make this time a little easier to handle.
Thank you, Mattsmom.
Very good idea to wait until he slips up. Excellent.
Knowing what I do, it won't be long!
Hi again. I don't think it will take long either. We have learned that he has no money for alcohol right now which is why he is sober. He'll find a way even if he has to sell stuff. He won't last long I don't think.
We recieved a court date. There is no local board for this, it is from another city and they travel a circuit. Due to summer (GRRRR) the circuit gets time off, so we were to only get a date in late August!!!! But they realized the level of risk (THANK GOODNESS!) and the next date they are here in town for hearings is July 30. So we got added to that date although they were full and not supposed to add new cases. Small miracles! It still feels crazy to wait till then, but the alternative was worse. So we'll take what we can get.
Meanwhile, he emailed the super today after getting the papers for the hearing date. He says it was null and void since she spelled his name in one spot initially with a wrong vowel on the initial set of papers. Dumb butt that he is. Anyhow, he says he isn't evicted due to that. Meanwhile it was legally amended (the spelling error) at the board where we filed, and there is no ground for that to affect the legality. The guy now must think he's a lawyer too . She shot him off a brief email stating the law, the amendment to the documents, and that the hearing stands and that the landlord will not revoke it and he must leave his apartment. That was that.
So he's still thinking all unrealistic and stupid. He just doesn't get it. He told someone that he will be here long after I am gone. His tone alerted them so they asked, well how is SHE (meaning me of course) supposed to be going when she did nothing??? He smirked and said nothing really except a quizical statement about how he will be seeing to it. One more nail in the proverbial coffin. Sounds very threatening and menacing from my position here.
So we maintain our status of rotting in this house and being unable to spend time in our yard or bbq or just enjoy my swing etc. He has tried to allege things to a agency that provides support to me for my MS and related expenses, in attempt to have my services through the agency interrupted. It's pretty resolved although I have to go sign some stuff tomorrow. This guy is STILL trying to interfere in my world. And the idiot gave his name when he called to try to make me look like I was abusing the service!!! Shows me his fixation hasn't gone away and therefore, we have become MORE vigilant.
Otherwise, he's been seen biking away and to his door, but he's approached nobody on the street. He just comes and goes and when he's around he is just hiding out in his apartment. That is just as well! We are all on alert on the road to follow police orders if he's out of it in the street drinking or the slightest reason.
Oh, also the copies of trespassing notices regarding myself, S/O and the kids, as well as the woman whose apartment he walked into the afternoon before he attacked my S/0?? The guy is so off. The documents were served to him via registered mail. He recieved a final notice from the post office that he has not picked them up and in 3 days they will return to sender. So he knows there is something for him to sign for but he doesn't know what it is, and he won't go get it. Kind of glad actually. If he says boo to me or the kids or S/O, straight to jail. If he keeps offending maybe the court would actually refuse bail. Mind you, I'm not exactly accesible since I'm hiding indoors. But ya never know.
My easy child is home this Sunday from Nova Scotia where she's been on holidays with her father. No way is this guy taking away her time with me for the whole freaking summer school holiday! So I've decided to NOT say hes a danger or any details, just that as she knwos gramma (my mom) has an illness and sometimes we stay away from her, I'll explain so does neighbour. Therefore we're going to hang out inside the house, not playing outside. And make sure she isnt' afraid but also doesn't get upset at not playing outside. The superintendent babysits her granddaughter daily, so we've decided to take both girls each day somewhere. To her daughters house to play in their pool, to the lake,, to a movie, to the library. Just a little break outdoors, out of the house, for both kids every day. My super can't bring her granddaughter outside to play now either. So I'm going to find a way to make it work, mind you if he starts up to any degree on the road at all, I'll send her to her dad's and tell her I'm not feeling well or something.
So wish us luck! We have the forms to hospitalize him all ready to go if the right chance comes up, where they will SEE how sick he is.
He sounds a lot legally cannier than he should be. Not collecting the registered mail - he knows something is up. It sounds a lot like the ratbag who was hassling me some years back. By not collecting it, he can claim he never knew what was in it and therefore he has the right to be given more time. If it gets presented in court, that is.
He sounds likehe's trying every trick in the book. As for his not drinking - all those police checks, someone has told him and as a result he's being much more cagy and "clever". I suspect he won't drink at all for as long as he can hold off, because he knows it will be used as more leverage and right now, his aim is to stay where he is because it means being close to you. Not only because he is obsessed with you, but now he wants revenge for all the trouble you've put him to with your 'allegations'.
Go very carefully. Take no chances. I doubt he'll do anything as overt as he did last time and he knows now (I strongly suspect) that the neighbourhood is all on your side; watch your place, make sure someone else is always watching your place even when you're all out. It is going to be a matter of honour for him to do stuff (such as walk onto your property and out again) and not get caught.
Melissa, I think that if I were in your position that I would contact easy child's father and let him know what's going on. Perhaps easy child could extend her visit with him?
Melissa, I'm just checking in. Thank you for the update.
I've been thinking of you and your family daily. I hope that you all will be safe.
Stay safe and stay on guard. Just because he's mentally unstable does not mean he can't think of ways to thwart your plans and appear semi normal. I know, my Mom has managed it for a lifetime. Nor does it mean he can't plan a means of attack with great stealth and ability.
Please keep us updated and I hope this goes thru quickly. By updating we know you're ok.
Chiming in here too. Hope everything is ok and progress is being made on getting this guy locked up/hospitalized.
Hi all. I actually do believe he is trying to stay sober because he has things figured out. I also know from all I've seen and learned that he is more than capable of still covering his tracks etc. It is crazy how he can be so messed up yet still think plans through, etc.
Regarding the registered mail, theres nothing he can do about not having picked it up. It is formality that he must be sent a copy of the orders for no trespassing, but if he doesn't pick them up, it doesn't protect him. They are all registered in police computers and I've asked the police what happens if he breaks the orders and is confronted by police and claims he wasn't aware. They have ensured me it does nothing to help him defend himself, he will be criminally liable. Mind you, these are just pieces of paper, nothing will prevent someone from trying something if they want to disregard law, and this guy gives a rats patootie about law. But at least it ensures immediate police action if its a officer who isn't really clear about whats going on around here.
easy child's father phoned on his cell yesterday to tell me they were heading home. Even driving straight through, they wont' arrive until later tonight. I was contemplating filling him in on the goings on and asking for easy child to stay with him. First problem, I miss her so bad it hurts. It's been weeks since I've seen her. Second problem, he put her on the phone and she was babbling happily about her fun holiday one minute, next minute bawling her head off and saying she misses me and difficult child and S/O and wishes she didn't have another day to wait to get home. I can't keep her away the entire time until this upcoming hearing. She will be home sometime late today.
What I have decided is to keep easy child home when I can. As it stands, she's home until Thursday when she goes for a 3 day family reunion with her dad. Then she is to be back home for just under 2 weeks until her next camping holiday with her father. I do plan to tell him in vague terms that there is a eviction going on that is making a tenant unhappy and that S/O and I, along with the super and other neighbours, need to go to court on the 30th. I need him to take easy child the night before (the hearing is bright and early but it is a cattle call, everyone shows at 8:30 a.m. and waits there turn. Since we were added last minute, I'm guessing we'll be there all day). So he needs to take her the night before and I am going to tell him I'll call that night with the date the guy will be gone and decide then how to proceed with easy child. She may need to spend extra time with her dad while we wait his official date to leave, come court day hes going to learn what all WE have learned and he will NOT be happy. I'm going to cross fingers and toes that the tribunal decides on a VERY QUICK date for him to be gone. While she's home, we will NOT be playing outside etc. Because of S/O being laid off and not having signed yet with the air force, we have the ability to stick together and not be alone, any of us.
Meanwhile, S/O was in touch with the recruiter and we are told we could get a call any day for his formal offer and to sign the papers, but the most it would be was another 4-6 weeks. I tend to think it is going to be sooner, the recruiter thinks so as well. That means we have a small chance to move to the base here before school starts back in, or to another base if we can get transferred to do his training somewhere else. We just have to be patient and wait to see what happens with that part of things.
The psycho is drinking again. No clue to what degree except we do know he was buying beer again a few times this week. I didn't figure he could hold out for long. Guess I was right. I have the feeling he'll be trying to moderate the booze to self protect, but that it will get the better of him. It only takes one neighbour to see him stumbling around drunk and he'll be picked up by police.
Yesterday he for some reason started to mow my property. As we share a landlord, he would do this before all this happened. Under these circumstances he should NOT be doing so, as it allows him right next to all my windows. I realized it was him, and went to shut my blinds and curtain to my living room. He zoomed quick to the window under the guise of mowing and smashed intentionally into my air conditioner stuck out the window. He didn't make eye contact, pretending he didn't notice S/O and I in the window shutting the blinds etc. Bull crapolla is what we say to that. As for smashing into my air conditioner, it was like a way to flip us the bird without giving us reason to call police. I did let my super know and she emailed to tell him to NOT for any reason mow again and that he will be arrested if ever again spotted near my windows. He has not responded to that email.
That's where we are at today. I'm going to make something up to say to easy child about why we aren't enjoying our yard etc, while not letting her feel in danger in her own home. We'll be extra extra careful now that she's home. Yet at the same time, it will be so good to have her home. She's never been away this long before. Even difficult child got up at 8am (instead of the usual dinner time, since its summer and hes a night owl) and started cleaning his room so she could go in there to tell him about her holiday, and then plans to clean HER room for her (he's used it since its larger and he feels safer in that room for some reason). difficult child does NOT clean. He misses his baby sister too. He has said he wants us to drop them off and pick them up at the military base's recreation center every couple of days so he can take her swimming and to play basketball in their gym. He's never offered that before, he doesn't "hang" with his little sister. He's such a sweetie.
Aw, difficult child sounds adorable!
So sorry The Creep took liberties again. You're right--he's tempering his addiction with-a bit of beer so he's not totally drunk but not dry, either.
I've got my fingers crossed.
I don't know how you can stand the wait. I'd be jumping out of my skin.
Witz, it is feeling that way. We're coping but its getting harder the longer this goes on. We are pretty jumpy to be honest. But we've avoided talking about this much past few days and it helps. We're back to normal sleep schedule. But we have cabin fever for sure. We've taken to taking a taxi to the mall to just roam around. We've done the same to go out for dinner at a restaurant. We went to a midnight movie with difficult child mid week (before we resumed natural sleep schedule). All to just get out of the house for a bit.
On a true positive, my wonderful easy child is home. I went to the mall and picked up some dvd's earlier today and treated easy child and I to matching pj's. We had a huge turkey dinner and are already in our pj's and planning a late night movie marathon. She had a lovely time away from all of this drama. They toured the east coast, throughout New Brunswick and Nova Scotia. She loved Cape Breton. She went to the Alexander Graham Bell museum, Peggys Cove, toured Halifax and the Citadel. She swam in the ocean. She went on a fishing boat to whale watch and saw tons of whales and dolphins and seals. The fisherman allowed her to drive the boat once they hit open ocean and she was thrilled. She used her own money and bought me a beautiful picture done on a piece of slate like stone (picture of peggy's cove and the famous lighthouse painted on it). Now she's giddy, not likely to sleep, at being home again. She's bouncing all over the house and must have hugged me 20 times already
So to avoid going nutty in the house, we are planning mid day beach outtings, bowling and going to the basketball court with easy child. She starts theater camp in just over a week as well. So we'll have her end of camp big production to attend (and all the at home rehearsals lol). That should help distract us from this. I did give her dad the abbreviated version of whats going on and he will pick up easy child anytime if things get weird around here. Also he'll pick her up the evening of the 29th so she's not around for the court hearing with psycho. I simply told her that like my mother, the neighbour turns out to have a mental illness and isn't doing so well and is being asked/made by the landlord to move. And that in the meantime we aren't playing outside. She was cool with it. That part is good!
It is nice to hear that smile in your voice again. Sounds like easy child had a great time with her dad. She is a total sweetheart to use her own money to buy you a present. And to keep hugging you. I am glad her dad is willing to get her at anytime if things go wonky.
Keep up with your outings, enjoy your family, and know we are all here for you.
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