May I ramble (and whine) a moment?

[klmno]

I'm lonely. I miss my son. I don't know where my life is going, much less difficult child's. I think I'm getting another cycle of "HA HA you aren't over MP yet" week coming up. I'm wanting to eat more, although I've tried to keep it fairly healthy for the most part- cereal, berries, etc. But tonight- I'm indulgin with a southern meal. Fried pork chops, mashed potatoes (I bought milk), cornbread, beans, and fried green tomoatoes.

The parole officer made his monthly call to me today. He seems so nice. But there is this typical edge and I know that I will NEVER trust anyone in our court services unit (CSU) again. I know I need to look for and find work out of this area and move. I told the PO about this today and he said it would be no problem- he would just transfer difficult child's stuff to that jurisdiction. I can't get difficult child transferred to another facility, though, and I don't want to move. It's like another heartbreak. But I need to figure out how to do it and just give up on trying to salvage anything at all- except our dogs- from this life.

I just feel like I was beaten to a pulp already and had no resources left and now I have to find mmore to even be able to step back and punt. I'm trying very hard to look at it like maybe something more exciting lies ahead. But maybe I'm just old enough now to think about the reality of "how" to move, find a new place where I can keep the dogs, deal with another CSU, another job where I have to always go in and tell them why I need time off work, etc.

This dinner better make me feel better! If not, I'll have to hit the ice cream and chocolate syrup afterwards!

 

[everywoman]

I'm sorry K---it's tough raising these kids. I think that trying to build another life while difficult child is gone will help when he gets out. It's important for your son to see you moving forward. It's important for him to see you think of yourself as important. I know it's hard. I've not been a single parent in 23 years, but I know that all my children respect me as a person because even though I put them high on my list of priorities, I never forgot who I was as a person.

 

[susiestar]

Of course you can ramble and vent. Isn't that what friends are for?

Thinking of you often and sending good vibes. I hope that you can find some peace and joy in your life very soon.

Many gentle hugs for your battered mommy heart.

 

[ML]

(((KLMNO))) You aren't whining at all, just sharing your feelings with friends who care about you. What time can I come over for dinner?

 

[mrscatinthehat]

Hope dinner was good. If you have leftovers I will take some.

hugs
beth

 

[klmno]

Thank you, Ladies! It's nice to know that I have friends- even if in cyber-space!!

I was not aware that people outside of the south liked this kind of food, but you are welcome to stop by for dinner anytime!

PS- There is no way I can hold ice cream tonight!

 

[Hound dog]

I am sooooooooo going to find a way to your house for dinner some nite and you've got to cook the same meal. OMG YUM!!!!!

It doesn't hurt to indulge once in a while. Actually it's good for you. Letting yourself indulge on occasion helps prevent all out binges which really sabotage us when we're trying to get healthy.

Would it maybe help to focus on smaller goals instead of the bigger picture? Usually if I look at the big picture I get overwhlemed. So I break it down and make smaller goals and take them one at a time.

(((hugs)))

 

[KTMom91]

Dinner sounds great!

Sending gentle hugs. I think Lisa has a good point about breaking things down into manageable pieces. You've heard the joke...How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.

 

[graceupongrace]

klmno,

Sending understanding hugs your way. I know that feeling of being overwhelmed. Sometimes taking life a day at a time is too much, and we have to take it an hour at a time. That's OK.

Glad you had a nice dinner. You can always have the ice cream for breakfast -- LOL!

 

[Wiped Out]

K,
Gentle hugs to you, it is normal to be feeling the way you are, you have been through a lot. I'm glad you indulged tonight. I haven't had fried pork chops since I was a kid-used to love it-I may have to make some myself soon-only I'll have to call my mom to see how she did it. I think it was coating with eggs and breadcrumbs but I'm not sure.

 

[klmno]

I'll try to set small realistic goals for today. I had been doing pretty good with getting things accomplished- both around the house/yard and with job hunting, but really back-slid this week. I think it has something to do with women's issues because I've noticed I've been moodier this past couple of days and extra thirsty for water.

WO- Many people bread their pork chops as you described and serve them with white gravy. Those are very good! I have just been frying mine in a small amount of oil.

Ice cream for breakfast....uhmmmm..., now there's a thought!

 

[hearts and roses]

Hugs klmno, I hope you're feeling better today. Try and do something nice just for you today.

 

[DammitJanet]

You will get there. It does seem to hit you at different times when you get to missing a person.

I fry pork chops the way you do or I just stick flour,salt and pepper in a bag and shake them and then fry them in the oil. Then make the gravy for rice. Thats mostly what we do. We use lots of the flour/salt/pepper coating on everything. Fish, chicken, cube steak, pork chops.

 

[Lothlorien]

Just offering a big hug and sending some sugar free chocolate!

 

[klmno]

LOL, Loth!! Thanks!! (by the way- is that so I won't be awake all night or is that a subtle hint??)

 

[DammitJanet]

Blah on sugar free chocolate. If it isnt real, might as well just not eat it...lol. I tried carob a few times and it just wasnt the same.

 

[Lothlorien]

I just thought since you were feeling guilty about what you had for dinner, I'd send some guilt-free your way.

Hope you feel better today.

 

[busywend]

Well, if it is an 'emotional' time of the month for you - be sure not to make any rash decisions!
Eating a few 'feel good' meals never hurt anyone. Sometimes it works and sometimes not.

I hope things get clearer soon!