Maybe a postive?

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by Tymica, Oct 16, 2015.

  1. Tymica

    Tymica Member

    So I posted an update about my difficult son about a month ago. Shortly after I posted that update, he was in legal trouble again. Possession of Marijuana, Possession of paraphenalia, and (since he is only 18 and some friends are under 18) endangering the welfare of a child. Then he was in a fight a couple of weeks ago and was stabbed in the face. He had to spend the night in the trauma unit because he had a nerve and artery cut in his face. He didn't call to let me know any of this. But Monday I got a text message from his bio dad who lives 6 hours away, but has never been actively involved in his life. As a matter of fact they have not seen each other in person since my son was 6 months old. Anyway, bio dad texted me and said that he came here to MO and picked up difficult son and had him in IL with him. Also, that he would bring him back for his court dates personally and help him pay off any fines, etc... Last night difficult son called us. He talked to me, his sister, and his dad (step dad, but has raised him since he was 2 weeks old so dad) for over 2 hours. He updated to everything he's been up to good and bad. He says he doesn't know if he wants to stay with bio dad, just scoping it out for now. But he sounded so good. Better than I have heard him sound in the last two years. Even better than the times he was in rehab. He wasn't neccessarily apologetic for all of the crap hes done causing the last falling out, but it feels good to be able to just talk. I told him he needed to stay there and get a fresh start. I would miss him, but not any more than I would miss him if he were sitting in jail, which is what would happen if he stayed here. Then this morning he texted me just to tell me what he was doing and we talked back and forth a little. I'm still holding my breath, but I'm hoping this is a positive sign.
     
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  2. AppleCori

    AppleCori Well-Known Member

    This is positive, Tymica!

    Your instincts are correct, he does need to stay away from your area, as hard as it is for you. He has his old (very bad) friends and his old (very bad) lifestyle back in your area. Too much temptation.

    I would encourage son to get a job and pay his own fines, though. It is his responsibility, and he will learn more from this situation if he takes ownership from it. It will have a more lasting deterrent effect if he has to pay the full costs. It will impress upon him how he must pay the price of his wrongdoings and hopefully he won't do these things anymore.

    I am so happy for you and your son.

    Keep posting

    Apple
     
  3. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I agree with Apple Tymica. Encourage him to stay there and get his affairs in order and prove he wants a new start.
     
  4. FlowerGarden

    FlowerGarden Active Member

    My son has the problem of running into "the old crowd" and that's when he relapses. Being by his bio dad might be the best thing for him. He's away from the crowd and the peer pressure.
     
  5. Tymica

    Tymica Member

    Well, I think he's decided to stay. Whoop Whoop! He got a job, and went to the community college and signed up for classes in January. Evidently bio dad thinks pot is ok, which worries me but DS said he has no interest in using while he's there. He has even started looking into NA meetings there and is thinking about going to one. I am VERY cautiously optimistic.
     
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  6. New Leaf

    New Leaf Well-Known Member

    Hi Tymica,
    Yay, good news. Very good news. I am glad for you and your son. Whoop Whoop!
     
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