Maybe I'm overreacting. Maybe I'm a little spoiled. Maybe they're just idiots.

[gcvmom]

difficult child 2 is on the school water polo team. It seems they do not use email to communicate to the families. We're supposed to look at the web site to get information. I have no idea how frequently we're supposed to check it. I did not find out there was a parent meeting this summer until I happened to look at the aquatics web site on a Tuesday and found that a meeting was scheduled for Thursday evening. That was a bit alarming.

Today difficult child 2 comes home and says there is a game tomorrow at 3pm at another school and he is to be there by 2:15pm and I'm supposed to get him there. Now I had to pay a $75 transportation fee, but for some reason I'm expected to get him there on my own gas.

I check the web site. It says there is a 3:50pm game and the boys are to be there at 3pm! It also says the coach has told the players who is participating. difficult child 2 said he was not specifically told he is participating. Which follows a pattern set by the last two games wherein difficult child 2 was a sub, and NO subs were ever rotated in. So he sat, and husband was annoyed because he made a special point of going to the game so he could watch difficult child 2 play. And extended family wanted to go, too, but we told them to hold off for a game or two. Good thing we did, otherwise it would have been a wasted trip for them.

So I emailed the coach asking for clarification of the conflicting info and whether or not difficult child 2 would get to be in the water at all and how frequently I'm supposed to check the web site and why they've chosen to not use email.

I just find this so bizarre. I'm on the executive board for the LAX team at the school and there is NO WAY we would expect families to check the web site for time-critical information changes. That's why we have email and we even go so far as to make a mass text broadcast to the players if something urgent comes up.

I just don't get it.

 

[TeDo]

I think you are totally in the right here. They should be communicating with families in a more efficient manner. I would make a point of bringing up the transportation money you paid and ask for an explanation as to what that money is used for if not transporting the players. I would also be upset if ALL kids did not get a chance to play. If this is not a school team, there should be a policy of everyone gets a chance to play.

Time to bring out the armor!!

 

[KTMom91]

I don't think you're wrong at all. I'd be ticked at the lack of follow through from the coach. Is this a newly formed team sport? If it's been around a while, you would logically think there was a better was to keep everyone on the same page.

 

[gcvmom]

The only explanation on the transportation issue for this event that I can think of is that it's a tournament and not league play. So it's not something the school or the district is involved with.

This is the 3rd year this team has been in existence, but the coach's first year at this school. And he's young (graduated hs in '08). The booster board, however, has been around since day one. I'd expect them to have a better handle on things than they do.

 

[gcvmom]

So part of this is difficult child 2 mishearing what was said. The coach said 2:50pm NOT 2:15pm (sounds similar if not articulated clearly or listened to fully). Okay that's resolved.

And apparently the booster club neglected to add my email to the distribution list, so that's why I haven't gotten ANY of the emails that have gone out this year. (You'd think they'd double check these things at the start of everything).

And they only rotate all their subs if they have a significant lead in the game because they want to win. Fine. I get that. So it's possible we paid all this money for difficult child 2 to get swim practice every day and not necessarily to play water polo. The world is a whacky place.

 

[Liahona]

I'm glad you got the email misunderstanding straightened out. Is difficult child still having fun if he doesn't get in the game?

 

[Star*]

SOMEONE had better get their PONIES in a row here! (taps water wings) Or I know a chicken that is going to kick the divets out of them.

 

[DammitJanet]

I dont like this team.

 

[AnnieO]

We had a similar problem one year - till we found out bio had changed OUR email with the team (after a lot of us being late, etc.)... T'wasn't the team's fault.

Your team needs to get it together. I'm sorry, but the whole pay-a-lot-of-money-and-never-see-your-kid-play is RIDICULOUS.

 

[muttmeister]

There are a lot of wonderful coaches in our schools but there are also a lot who think the sun rises and sets on their program and who don't see the need to accomodate ANYBODY. It sounds like you have one of the last kind. I would raise he!!. You are paying his salary. He is there to serve you and your kids. (I'm a retired teacher). You are not there to accomodate him; it is the other way around. Do any of the other parents have an issue with this? I'd find out as there is strength in numbers. But even if you are the only one, you still have a case. Make a lot of noise; you might get somebody's attention.

 

[DDD]

I'm a veteran of many sport and a huge difference exists between coaches. We had awesome times and we had one very heartbreaking Coach. Honestly I would chalk this up to the youth of the new Coach and his lack of awareness of the importance of family participation. I would not raise a ruckus as it usually bites the player in the fanny.. Sounds like the key to the issues is closer involvement with the leaders of the Booster Club. Yes, I know, the leaders are usually the parents of the star players (been there done that before the "crash" caused by the last Coach). Being in the "in group" that lives and breaths the sport is the best way to know everything that's going on. In my experience there is usually a required short rotation of all players but sounds like that's not the case with your team.

I'd really avoid any negative talk around difficult child. He is part of "the team". He likely knows he is not one of the most powerful players. Even if he is doing his best and relegated to being a bench warmer, there is pride in participation and joy in the victories. With difficult child's in particular no matter how hard it is to focus on the positive in my humble opinion that is the course you need to take. Yeah, I've been there done that with a "star" and with AS difficult child who just didn't get it. I'm sorry it is causing you stress. DDD

 

[gcvmom]

Despite not playing yet, difficult child 2 does enjoy being a part of this group. And you're right that we should keep our negative comments to ourselves when he's around. husband is really bad about this, and I mistakenly communicated something he said about all this to the coach yesterday -- and husband got a little upset. Maybe he will learn to temper his own comments or at least keep them private with me and not share them with people on the phone when he's home or even around difficult child 2.

The whole money aspect is just a sad reality of hs sports in my state. Schools provide very little for the teams and the financial burden falls on the families. And to make things even trickier, the booster clubs that support these teams are NOT allowed to tie money to participation. Legally, no one is REQUIRED to pay to play. So we have to come up with creative wording and subtle suggestions, calling "fees" now "donations" and crossing our fingers that everyone ponies up their fair share. We actually had a couple of families last year who did not pay the minimum amount that everyone else chipped in, even though they were able to pay for expensive, non-essential accessory items and personal equipment (which the booster club already provides) for their student and refused to participate in fundraising programs, and there wasn't a thing we could do about it. So now we are trying to rearrange our program so that it's fundraising-intensive and that we have funds set aside for "hardship" or "scholarship" cases. And that's not to say we are completely unwilling to help a family if they truly are a hardship case. We don't want to turn anyone away and we will set up payment plans or come up with fundraising opportunities they can use to defray the cost of the sport, and if none of that gets them to their financial goal, we'll waive whatever balance is left. But for people to flat out refuse to work with us or use the tools we give them to meet their obligations is downright maddening for the rest of us who do pay up. It's all about priorities I guess.

But I digress. We'll see if difficult child 2 gets any playing time today. And there's an all-day tournament tomorrow. Maybe he'll get subbed in for that.

 

[DDD]

Sounds like you're on top of it. I learned the hard way not to let the kids overhear "adult" conversations about teachers and coaches. It really can be a fiasco! Good luck.

If I had a dollar for every fundraising event I've participated in I would be able to retire tomorrow, lol. I don't know about your community but in some communities civic organizations budget to donate sums in support of various causes. In return for their donation they get acknowledged by publicity shots in the newspapers or in sporting even pass out programs. DDD