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General Parenting
Maybe my love is conditional (?)
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 263270" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I can't speak for anyone else, just myself.</p><p>I've given birth to one child, and adopted six. Two are no longer with us due to one of them being dangerous and the other one wanting out because of the dangerous one. We adopted the kids at ages newborn, five months, two, six, seven and eleven. </p><p>In my opinion only, the bonding between parent/child is much stronger--the same as a bio. child--when the child is an infant or very young (like my two year old). It was far harder for me and hub to both bond, reign in, or help the older adoptees. None of them worked out well. That doesn't mean it's like that for everyone, but kids who have been in the system for eight years have tons and tons of baggage--sometimes we don't even know all of it. Some are sexually abused in foster care. </p><p>I don't blame you for your feelings and it doesn't make you a bad parent. It's harder to get a handle on a child you didn't raise from birth than to raise one from birth. </p><p>But any difficult child is hard.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 263270, member: 1550"] I can't speak for anyone else, just myself. I've given birth to one child, and adopted six. Two are no longer with us due to one of them being dangerous and the other one wanting out because of the dangerous one. We adopted the kids at ages newborn, five months, two, six, seven and eleven. In my opinion only, the bonding between parent/child is much stronger--the same as a bio. child--when the child is an infant or very young (like my two year old). It was far harder for me and hub to both bond, reign in, or help the older adoptees. None of them worked out well. That doesn't mean it's like that for everyone, but kids who have been in the system for eight years have tons and tons of baggage--sometimes we don't even know all of it. Some are sexually abused in foster care. I don't blame you for your feelings and it doesn't make you a bad parent. It's harder to get a handle on a child you didn't raise from birth than to raise one from birth. But any difficult child is hard. [/QUOTE]
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Maybe my love is conditional (?)
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