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General Parenting
Maybe my love is conditional (?)
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<blockquote data-quote="TerryJ2" data-source="post: 263340" data-attributes="member: 3419"><p>Hi Auntalva, nice to meet you.</p><p>Funny avatar!</p><p>Since my son was adopted when he was 2 days old, it was pretty easy to bond with-him, so I can't really address the older adoption issue. You've gotten some great feedback here already, though, on that issue.</p><p>I think a lot of your feelings are normal and I can definitely identify with-your emotional and physical exhaustion. been there done that.</p><p>The only thing I would change at this time, is to perhaps allow ph calls from your daughter once a wk, and you can actually script yourself after having been to the therapist. I would try to be a bit more detached. You can learn that. Really. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> It will help with-your other child, as well.</p><p>I would keep the ph calls light and not address any blame. This could be a good time for healing on both of your parts.</p><p>From reading your post, it does seem that your daughter was shocked that you took the ph away. Some time when you are in counseling with-her (because this home she's in isn't forever, right?) remind her in a calm, authoritative way that you are the mom and you are in charge, and the more she can demonstrate responsibility by showing up for school every day and sticking to her schedule and being respectful, the more privileges she will earn.</p><p>I would encourage her to get a PT job and earn some of her own $ so she can pay for her own min and earn her ph back more quickly. </p><p>Just some ideas ...</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TerryJ2, post: 263340, member: 3419"] Hi Auntalva, nice to meet you. Funny avatar! Since my son was adopted when he was 2 days old, it was pretty easy to bond with-him, so I can't really address the older adoption issue. You've gotten some great feedback here already, though, on that issue. I think a lot of your feelings are normal and I can definitely identify with-your emotional and physical exhaustion. been there done that. The only thing I would change at this time, is to perhaps allow ph calls from your daughter once a wk, and you can actually script yourself after having been to the therapist. I would try to be a bit more detached. You can learn that. Really. :) It will help with-your other child, as well. I would keep the ph calls light and not address any blame. This could be a good time for healing on both of your parts. From reading your post, it does seem that your daughter was shocked that you took the ph away. Some time when you are in counseling with-her (because this home she's in isn't forever, right?) remind her in a calm, authoritative way that you are the mom and you are in charge, and the more she can demonstrate responsibility by showing up for school every day and sticking to her schedule and being respectful, the more privileges she will earn. I would encourage her to get a PT job and earn some of her own $ so she can pay for her own min and earn her ph back more quickly. Just some ideas ... [/QUOTE]
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Maybe my love is conditional (?)
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