Awhile back I read in one of the posts about a phase and I cannot remember what the exact term was. It was something along the lines of when you put everything in difficult child's hands and you feel relief. Like you have felt like you are totally done with all the **** and what ever happens happens. Anyone know what Iam talking about. Its like I am finally at peace after all these years and feel like I don't have to be the victim anymore. i have felt like this since Wednsday morning. difficult child showed up here before I left for work to show me the fine he got for the underage drinking offence. (Why I don't know) i explained to him he had until 1/20/09 to make the first payment and if he did not make payments they will put a warrent out for him. I told him I will not pay it and if he does get picked up not to call and ask me to bail him out. His excuse was he could not get a job without ID (he has no drivers license) so I gave him the only thing I could think of, an old (2 years old) school ID and his ss card. I told him this is all the ID he currently has and it is out of my hands. I can not help him. Once again he made an excuse saying he still would not have the money by the date due and I told him this is what I had tried to tell him from the beginning. If you do something wrong and get caught you have to face up to it. Now this next part may sound totally cold and "un-mom" like....I truely think difficult child needs to get picked up. My reasons...................... 1. I will know where he is 2. He will be eating a meal and hopefully gain some weight (he looks horrible) 3. Maybe, just maybe, he will see the light. 4. It will give him a chance to slow the merry-go-round he is on and think about things and see we aren't so bad of a family. Life seems to be passing him by and he doesn't even know it!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thanks for listening everyone and if you can think of that phase could you let me know? Because I THINK I AM THERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!