me.Peace finally.

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by 2tired, Mar 6, 2007.

  1. 2tired

    2tired New Member

    I haven't posted for a really long time. It seems like years, but not quite. I dropped in to just say "Be persistent". I had everything stacked against me. I never gave up and even though she was in DFACS custody, I continued to advocate for her. I could not allow her to continue to devastate my home and my family. I was on the verge of committing suicide myself because I had fallen into a deep state of depression, I came so close to giving up. Today, everything is better. My daughter was diagnosed with ODD at age 8, and I was the only one to see it. No one believed me, I lost my job of 23 years, almost lost my son, and as my daughter became older - I stood firm. I could never tell her no - or somehow I paid for it. I couldn't believe how my perfect family, my perfect little life had changed. I was forced to take parenting classes, everyone thought my daughter was a victim of abuse and threats. But actually it was abandonment. She was such a terror- I couldn't/wouldn't take it. I had numerous hearings, it seemed as if there was no light at the end of the tunnel. My daughter attempted suicide twice while in foster care, which finally landed her in Residential Treatment Center (RTC) - (from H_ll.). But eventually, she went into another Residential Treatment Center (RTC) which saved her life. In my mind, I would advocate for her, but didn't want to live with her again. The state finally forced my hand - with a program that would offer us/her the same services she was provided in Residential Treatment Center (RTC) - in my home. I figured what the heck. In June, she gradually started spending more time at home, and in August was placed back in my home - and September - full custody was returned to me. I was reluctant, but thought try it nonetheless. It has been a complete turnaround. She went from being a demon child to a wonderful child. At 9 years old I had her out of my home and staying in another state with family - who gave up. She is now 15 years old.
    We are still receiving services in home after two different agencies providing Intensive Family Intervention Services. She also has one time per month Adventure Respite, in-home Respite when needed (hasn't gone since November. They provide her with employment opportunities - and supports our family to get us through.
    Things have turned around drastically, but I'm not ignorant to the fact that it is subject to change. WE finally found our needle in the haystack - and daughter is doing fantastic.
    It took a lot of tough love - persistence - and I wrote numerous letters mostly complaints to government officials, schools, directors, and others - people finally started listening - understanding, and stopped closing doors in my face.

    I am now involved with a community program to assist with policy changes for our youth with different types of disorders. It helps to have someone to help you to advocate - as me being so involved, my emotions were involved, it made it tougher, but I endured - and made significant strides - especially in court, and my support was basically limited to this site. My documentation was extremely useful. Be strong and take care of yourselves, persist and believe.
  2. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Wow! Quite a testimonial. And quite a journey. Bravo. I understand it ain't over til the fat lady sings, but the fact that you've come this far is a testament to human perseverance and love. And bravo for your difficult child. Good for you to make changes in the system. A win-win situation all around.
    Best of luck on your journey, and continued strength.
  3. Loris

    Loris New Member

    Wow! I'm so glad you've made such progress with her and your family. It does take persistance.
  4. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Glad things are improving so much! Enjoy your family!
  5. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    :bravo: :warrior:

    Thank you for sharing - this is a wonderful & positive update.
  6. kris

    kris New Member

    <span style="color: #663366">wow! sounds like all your perseverance has paid off. i'm so glad to hear you are doing so well now. also very glad to read you are putting the things you learned to work for others.


    kris :smile: :smile: :smile: :smile: