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General Parenting
"Measurable goals"
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<blockquote data-quote="klmno" data-source="post: 315257" data-attributes="member: 3699"><p>That's what I think rls- first, difficult child responds MUCH better when punishments are taken out of his "systems" put in place at school and home. Not that he doesn't get consequences when he does something wrong, but it works better when that is kept separate from any reward system. Next, the objective usually gets effort put into it when it is worded like "coping skills" and "problem solving".</p><p></p><p>Thirdly, underneath that are difficult child's issues regarding rejection/abondonment vs feeling accepted. He doesn't see that he has big issues in this area yet- but he does acknowledge to me that there are problems with how other kids "treat" him and that he has a hard time dealing with it. This is where CBT would be useful and why it has been recommended in the past. difficult child cannot see yet though that this stems from his father never wanting to meet him or be a part of his life. At least that is my analysis of it- but it's ok, I think, that difficult child can't really see that at this point.</p><p></p><p>The therapist involved right now is aware of these things but she has told me that since difficult child has done well there (incarcerated in Department of Juvenile Justice) that she doesn't see it as a problem. That just doesn't hold up with me for a few reasons. Anyway, she is a therapist at the Department of Juvenile Justice facility so it might be impossible to get her to view this as needing anything other than behavior mod. Maybe I will get lucky and the issue of difficult child getting more privileges with friends can lead to a conversation about his relationships (and lack thereof) with peers on Friday and just maybe she will start to see and address that issue.</p><p></p><p>Unfortunately, I've had enough dealings with tdocs working with difficult child that I'm not holding my breath. And it's much WORSE when it's a therapist being paid by the legal authorites after he's gotten into trouble. We'll see on Fri. though.</p><p></p><p>He's 14 yo by the way.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="klmno, post: 315257, member: 3699"] That's what I think rls- first, difficult child responds MUCH better when punishments are taken out of his "systems" put in place at school and home. Not that he doesn't get consequences when he does something wrong, but it works better when that is kept separate from any reward system. Next, the objective usually gets effort put into it when it is worded like "coping skills" and "problem solving". Thirdly, underneath that are difficult child's issues regarding rejection/abondonment vs feeling accepted. He doesn't see that he has big issues in this area yet- but he does acknowledge to me that there are problems with how other kids "treat" him and that he has a hard time dealing with it. This is where CBT would be useful and why it has been recommended in the past. difficult child cannot see yet though that this stems from his father never wanting to meet him or be a part of his life. At least that is my analysis of it- but it's ok, I think, that difficult child can't really see that at this point. The therapist involved right now is aware of these things but she has told me that since difficult child has done well there (incarcerated in Department of Juvenile Justice) that she doesn't see it as a problem. That just doesn't hold up with me for a few reasons. Anyway, she is a therapist at the Department of Juvenile Justice facility so it might be impossible to get her to view this as needing anything other than behavior mod. Maybe I will get lucky and the issue of difficult child getting more privileges with friends can lead to a conversation about his relationships (and lack thereof) with peers on Friday and just maybe she will start to see and address that issue. Unfortunately, I've had enough dealings with tdocs working with difficult child that I'm not holding my breath. And it's much WORSE when it's a therapist being paid by the legal authorites after he's gotten into trouble. We'll see on Fri. though. He's 14 yo by the way. [/QUOTE]
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