Mechanics have a unique way of looking at things!

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by nvts, Sep 23, 2009.

  1. nvts

    nvts Active Member

    UPS Air Cargo

    Just in case you need a laugh:
    Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high school
    diploma to fix one; a reassurance to those of us who fly routinely in our
    jobs. After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a 'gripe
    sheet,' which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The
    mechanics correct the problems; document their repairs on the form, and
    then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.

    Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some
    actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS ' pilots (marked with a P)
    and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.
    By the way, UPS is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an
    accident.

    P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
    S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
    *
    P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
    S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
    *
    P: Something loose in cockpit
    S: Something tightened in cockpit
    *
    P: Dead bugs on windshield.
    S: Live bugs on back-order.
    *
    P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
    S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
    *
    P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
    S: Evidence removed.
    *
    P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
    S: DME volume set to more believable level.
    *
    P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
    S: That's what friction locks are for.
    *
    P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
    S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
    *
    P: Suspected crack in windshield.
    S: Suspect you're right.
    *
    P: Number 3 engine missing.
    S: Engine found on right wing after brief search
    *
    P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)
    S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious.
    *
    P: Target radar hums.
    S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
    *
    P: Mouse in cockpit.
    S: Cat installed.
    *
    And the best one for last
    *
    P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding
    on something with a hammer.
    S: Took hammer away from midget.


    Sorry I've been missing lately - things are good with the kids, but the rest is rocky... :sad-very:

    Beth
     
  2. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    :rofl:

    Glad to hear from you Beth. What's going on that's rockin' your boat?
     
  3. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Very cute!!

    (Remind me to swim to my next vacation.)
     
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