Meeting at school/filing 51A neglect against me/please read

[jcox]

Today we had a meeting at school to discuss my ds who is six. As some of you might have read in my previous posts he has the diagnoses of Bipolar II with Rapid Cycling, ADHD, Cognitive Disorder with Executive Functions Weakness, and Sensory Processing Disorder. He has had several problems at school for which he has gotten suspended five times for. Tuesday afternoon he got suspended again for sexual harassment. He grabbed his one on one aides vaginal area.

The meeting at school today did not go so well, and it really ****** me off how people do not understand his diagnoses and the symptoms that come along with them. At the meeting were the principal, SPED director, his SPED teacher, superintendant of schools, his previous counselor from school, his current school counselor, myself, and Elijah's FST worker.

First they started off saying how they just want the best for him, but that they also need to keep the other children and staff safe at school. Quickly it turned into another this child needs to be hospitalized meeting. They obviously have no idea how to deal with him, how to help him, or how to accomodate him. They want me to put him in the hospital. I told them how that would not gaurantee him a trouble free future or necessarily make him stabilized. I tried explaining that would not prevent him from having mental health issues. It seems to me that they are under the impression that if I hospitalize him then he will be some perfect child. I told them that his psychiatrist said he does not need hospitalization right now, but that we are going to Boston tomorrow to see a new one. Then they started questioning his diagnoses and why he has so many. I asked them if they were psychiatrists...

Then the current counselor at his school tells me that she has worked with children like Elijah but they have not been hypersexual like him. She said it is normal for children to talk about sexual things, but not act them out. She said because he touches sexually it gives her every reason to believe that he has been sexually abused. Then the principal of the school tells me straight out that he is filing a 51A on me, not because he suspects my son has been abused or neglected, but because "he does not feel" that I am "providing Elijah with all the services he needs such as hospitalization, that his needs are not being met, and that more can be done". That ****** me off. Tears started falling down my face.

I have a communication book with the teacher and aid that I write in about how his mornings went and if there were any issues. One morning Elijah hit a little girl on the head downstairs with a remote. I wrote it in his book so that the teacher and aid could know to watch out for his agressiveness. They are using everything I say in that book against me when I was trying to help them. I am going to stop writing much in it. I will just write good morning, hyper morning, not the best morning and leave it at that. The principal used that against me saying he is scared for the safety of the other children in my house. He then asked me if my son runs out of the house. I told him we have alarms on all the doors. I hate his new principal so much. The first day I met him I did not like him.

As for his counselor at school, I had good relations with his other one from his old school where he was in regular kindergarten. I wonder if I can request that he sees her since he is technically still in kindergarten and she is the k-2 counselor... the one he sees now is the 3rd and 4th grade counselor. My son is the only kindergartener at his school... the rest of it is preschool, third and fourth. That was the only appropriate class they could find for him. They say it is legal because there are no more than forty eight months between my son and the oldest child in the class. She seems to understand him better, where his new one just thinks he is being abused and that is why he acts this way.

The school is lost and has no idea what to do with him. They tell me that if I have him hospitalized that when he comes out the hospital would give the school some recomendations about what to do. I keep telling them that I know he would do better in the alternative school in the next town over because they are trained for children with social emotional and behavioral issues like my son. They are refusing to send him there. Today they made the comment that it would be like putting a bandaid on a broken arm and if I had a broken arm would sitting in a different chair make it all better.

I am worried about DCF coming to my house but I am kind of glad the principal told me he was filing. I don't want them to take my children. The SPED director said he knows I do all I can for Elijah, the school reports even IEP meeting notes always say "Elijah is always well groomed and cared for". I feel like I have a good relationship with the SPED director. I am so scared... I do everything I can for my son. I don't want to hospitalize him because he is only six years old. He is not suicidal... if he was believe me we would be right at the hospital. Even his psychiatrist (whom let me note he has only been seeing for a month) told me in his professional opinion Elijah does not need hospitalization at this time. If he told me Elijah did I would have found a way to send him. I listen to the psychiatrists and FST, but feel that the school has no right to demand that I get him hospitalized and filing abuse/neglect charges against me because I am not. The principal then had the nerve to tell me well he could have reported Elijah's behavior to the District Attorney's office to but he didn't and is not going to.

I asked our FST worker that was at the meeting with me if in her opinion she believes he needs to be hospitalized. She said she is stuck and does not know what to suggest, because no he does not fit the criteria of suicidal or a risk to the safety of others, but he needs to be stabilized. She just told me to talk to the psychiatrists in Boston tomorrow when we go to see what they suggest. I was thinking that we should have him placed somewhere so it would look better for DCF but she does not think that is necessary. I am so confused and don't know what to do. I know that DCF will be coming to my house one day soon, most likely at the beginning of next week because he said he was filing today.

I think that the school is out of line here today for several reasons... first off I don't think it is appropriate of them to push me so hard to get him hospitalized when the psychiatrists are telling me he does not need to be. Second filing neglect charges does not seem like their place either when on one hand they are saying that I am doing everything I can for him, but then the principal is saying he needs to be hospitalized and I am not sending him there and more can be done to help him that I am not doing... that seems contradicting to me. I don't think that they should be giving psychiatric medical advice. That is not thier job... do you think what happened today was appropriate?

Please help me by offfering any suggestions or thoughts you have concerning my son, the school, or what ever. I feel really lost right now and have no idea what to do. I just want what is best for him.

Confused Mommy

 

[Jena]

First I am so sorry. Truly. I am going thru a school thing and it just seems like they have no clue at all.

Why is it that they are filing this? Because your stating that you do not feel hospitalization is necessary??

What accomodations or provisions do they have in place for him at the school?

He is medicated I see, and ive heard alot of times how children with BiPolar (BP) are inappropriately sexual.

 

[jcox]

The pricipal said he was filing "Based on Elijah's behaviors he believes his needs are not being met and that without reasonable doubt more can be done..."

He has an IEP under "Emotionally Disturbed". In his IEP he has the following accomodations:
Shortened school day,
Substantially seperate classroom
1:1 aid,
keyboard,
directions in small managable steps,
clear class rules,
close proximity to teacher,
high structure,
rules, procedures, consequences for choices clearly and consistently posted, articulated, and exicuted
Individual and small group instruction
Quiet setting with distractions minimized
Use of timer, signal to alert end of activity, changes, transitions
Specific instruction in development, acquisition, and application of more effective strategies in areas of prosocial skills, anger management, conflict resolution, and problem solving
post, provide, and review established daily routine, rules, procedures and consiquences
Consitently use point, token system
Allow for quiet space where he can go think or take five...
Monitor stress levels
Movement as needed
Check frequently understanding of concepts
Unlimited acess to bathroom
Include behavioral component in daily program with record keeping and school home communication.
PT consultation 1x15
behavioral management 5x300
counseling 1x30
consultation teacher, one on one aide, counselor, dps 1x15

He has a BIP being developed with the FBA complete. I have not seen it or any results yet.

 

[Sheila]

Hi jcox.

You've got an intense situation going on. Try not to worry about the DFS -- it sounds as if you have the documentation you need to show that you're doing everything you can for your child.

The DFS can be a great resource for parents -- perhaps even providing services you need and don't even know that are available.

The only other thing I can suggest regarding DFS is to collect an article or two regarding bipolar children and hypersexuality.

School. My hair is on fire.

in my opinion, what has happened here is that the sd doesn't want the expense of educating your child and their efforts to bully you into hospitalizing difficult child failed, so now they are threatening to turn you into DFS. It's against the law for a sd to intimidate, harras, threaten or retaliate against a parent trying to advocate for a disabled child.

The sd doesn't want the expense of sending your child to the school in the next town -- period. The Fed regs say that it if the sd can't provide appropriate services for a student, they must contract with an entity that can.

The sd says that a hospitalization will produce recommendations for them. 1) That's not necessarily so unless they want to pay for a report, 2) you've been told by medical proffesional difficult child doesn't meet hospitalization criteria, 3) if in place staff doesn't know what to do for difficult child, they should bring in professionals that can help them -- and at their expense. by the way, if required to reevaluate the student, medical personnel, facilities and procedures are at sd expense also.

I'll be back later -- pulling some links for you.

 

[Sheila]

http://web.archive.org/web/20050215061529/http://www.reedmartin.com/parentadvocates.htm
The Americans with Disabilities Act, which covers all children eligible under Section 504 and under the IDEA, provides for action against the school district, or state education agency, when they retaliate against parents or their children. 42 U.S.C. 12203 prohibits "interference, coercion, intimidation, threats or retaliation" when a parent seeks to advocate for their disabled child. Since the parent was asking a simple question, would anyone characterize that response by the school district and state education agency as anything other than an attempt at coercion, intimidation, threats and retaliation in an attempt to interfere with the parent's advocacy?


http://edocket.access.gpo.gov/2006/pdf/06-6656.pdf
there is nothing
in the Act that would prevent a State
from requiring a medical evaluation for
eligibility under other health
impairment, provided the medical
evaluation is conducted at no cost to the
parent.

Also, 'In evaluating each child with a disability under §§300.531-300.536, the evaluation is sufficiently comprehensive to identify all of the child's special education and related services needs, whether or not commonly linked to the disability category in which the child has been classified. The child is assessed in all areas related to the suspected disability, including, if appropriate, health[medical], vision, hearing, social and emotional status, general intelligence, academic performance, communicative status, and motor abilities.'

http://www.bipolarchild.com/Newsletters/0206print.html

'Hypersexuality in children is rarely discussed about for two reasons: one is that (bipolar or not) sexuality in children is simply not spoken about in public; and the other, sadly, is that parents of hypersexual children are afraid to mention the subject -- even over email. They are petrified that Child Protective Services will find out and wrongly assume that a hypersexual child is an overstimulated child, and that that overstimulation stems from sexual abuse in the home. Few people -- even the professionals at the Departments of Child and Families (DCF) or Child Protective Services (CPS) realize that hypersexuality is so common during the manic or hypomanic stages of bipolar disorder (in adults and in children) -- and so it is rarely if ever factored into the equation. Parents of bipolar children fear losing custody of their children based on these suspicions of abuse….'


http://www.psychiatrictimes.com/display/article/10168/46996

'…This sample of children provides strong support that hypersexuality in child mania occurs in the absence of abuse….'


Seems like there was something else I wanted to pull for you, but it slips my memory.


Do you have an advocate?

 

[TheOnlyMe]

http://web.archive.org/web/20050215061529/http://www.reedmartin.com/parentadvocates.htm
The Americans with Disabilities Act, which covers all children eligible under Section 504 and under the IDEA, provides for action against the school district, or state education agency, when they retaliate against parents or their children. 42 U.S.C. 12203 prohibits "interference, coercion, intimidation, threats or retaliation" when a parent seeks to advocate for their disabled child. Since the parent was asking a simple question, would anyone characterize that response by the school district and state education agency as anything other than an attempt at coercion, intimidation, threats and retaliation in an attempt to interfere with the parent's advocacy?


http://edocket.access.gpo.gov/2006/pdf/06-6656.pdf
there is nothing
in the Act that would prevent a State
from requiring a medical evaluation for
eligibility under other health
impairment, provided the medical
evaluation is conducted at no cost to the
parent.

Also, “In evaluating each child with a disability under §§300.531-300.536, the evaluation is sufficiently comprehensive to identify all of the child's special education and related services needs, whether or not commonly linked to the disability category in which the child has been classified. The child is assessed in all areas related to the suspected disability, including, if appropriate, health[medical], vision, hearing, social and emotional status, general intelligence, academic performance, communicative status, and motor abilities.”

http://www.bipolarchild.com/Newsletters/0206print.html

“Hypersexuality in children is rarely discussed about for two reasons: one is that (bipolar or not) sexuality in children is simply not spoken about in public; and the other, sadly, is that parents of hypersexual children are afraid to mention the subject -- even over email. They are petrified that Child Protective Services will find out and wrongly assume that a hypersexual child is an overstimulated child, and that that overstimulation stems from sexual abuse in the home. Few people -- even the professionals at the Departments of Child and Families (DCF) or Child Protective Services (CPS) realize that hypersexuality is so common during the manic or hypomanic stages of bipolar disorder (in adults and in children) -- and so it is rarely if ever factored into the equation. Parents of bipolar children fear losing custody of their children based on these suspicions of abuse….”


http://www.psychiatrictimes.com/display/article/10168/46996

“…This sample of children provides strong support that hypersexuality in child mania occurs in the absence of abuse….”


Seems like there was something else I wanted to pull for you, but it slips my memory.


Do you have an advocate?

I totally agree!!!!!!!!!!!! My red hair is on fire!

It is an intimation tactic to keep from providing FAPE! I would file a complaint with the State Education Agency and the Office of Civil Rights for US Department of Education in you state! They are discriminating against you and your son based upon his disability and based upon 1401 (a) and (b) which is the purpose of IDEA. Be still and know this is just a test and you will help someone else to overcome this once you have! Have faith!