I was pretty sure difficult child has recently been searching online for her birthmother, so I decided to do a search last week to see what she would find. Shockingly, I found that BM passed away just last month (difficult child hadn't found any info because she only checked Facebook). When husband and I broke the news we thought she would go off the rails, because she fantasized about meeting BM and having someone in her life who could understand her. Instead, she didn't even shed a tear. She said she feels like she should cry, but she doesn't even know the person. I'm thinking it will come to her in stages and at different times and hopefully there will be some kind of grieving process sometime. My question is, we offered for her to meet BM's parents and her two half-siblings to soften the blow (which, as I said, didn't seem like much of a blow). I'm pretty sure the birthfam is willing, but will call the social worker tomorrow to go between us, and see if they would like to meet next week. Technically the adoption is closed until she turns 18, but we feel like clearing out all the "mysteries" of her background might help her form a stronger identity and maybe, just maybe, help with some of her behavior issues. I felt like I needed to call the social worker when I found out to let the birthfamily know we know of the news, so I did that last week. My question is, have any of you experienced your adopted teen meeting birthfamily for the first time? I realize everyone is different, but I'm just curious about how things have gone.