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Meeting with son and wife
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 448162" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Hi and thanks again.</p><p></p><p>I need to clear a few things up. The mediator was a wonderful older woman who donates her time and I don't think she will tell anyone about this meeting. I really don't. She did ask questions and intercede in a passive way, but, because nobody told her any different, clearly she believed everything she heard from them. The part about the letters was true. I blush just thinking about sending them and how he has archived them into his computer for posterity...lol. I feel like such a fool, but I did it and I can't take it back. Now the stuff about how he paid the bills and budgeted for us, I believe he thought he did these things, but he most certainly did NOT pay the bills. Moving on... </p><p></p><p>This is the second biggest church in the country. No, the rumors will not fly. Nor do I believe S. joined the church to look good. He believes he is a very strict and obedient Christian. Of that I have no doubt. </p><p></p><p>I don't believe he has antisocial personality disorder. He does not offend against the law. If anything, he is anal about this. He just has very and often unrealistic expectations of others. Whether or not ALL others count, I don't have a clue. I could not tell you how he interacts with her family. My guess is, she would leave him if he wasn't great to her relatives, so he is. That's why he would let them stay with him...my ex said he rolled his eyes while K. was talking about how her parents will be moving in with them. At the very least, to me that indicates that he is not thrilled, but is willing. If he has any issues they are likely adoption related...perhaps some attachment and abandonment issues. I'd rather not analyze him as I have issues myself (don't we all?). All that matters in my own life is that he has no place in it. And that will not bother him one bit. His wedding alone told us where we stand with him...not one of us was in the wedding party and Jumper and Sonic were excluded from the reception. That is when the trouble started, and that is when I first realized just how little we mattered to him. Not just me. All of us. I don't think his father holds a special place in his heart either and I'm quite sure that the three years he "punished" by ex (Lord knows why) he did not miss him.</p><p></p><p>I do believe he loves his wife and son. I do not know if she is obedient to him. I don't know the dynamics of their marriage other than he is protective of her feelings (as he should be). This is not a totally bad person. He doesn't work in MY life, but I hope he has a very happy life in his own life. I hope he wishes the same for me, but I doubt he even gives it a thought. It is not his fault he did not attach. I am beginning to realize that it is not MY fault either. THAT is part of the closure I needed.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 448162, member: 1550"] Hi and thanks again. I need to clear a few things up. The mediator was a wonderful older woman who donates her time and I don't think she will tell anyone about this meeting. I really don't. She did ask questions and intercede in a passive way, but, because nobody told her any different, clearly she believed everything she heard from them. The part about the letters was true. I blush just thinking about sending them and how he has archived them into his computer for posterity...lol. I feel like such a fool, but I did it and I can't take it back. Now the stuff about how he paid the bills and budgeted for us, I believe he thought he did these things, but he most certainly did NOT pay the bills. Moving on... This is the second biggest church in the country. No, the rumors will not fly. Nor do I believe S. joined the church to look good. He believes he is a very strict and obedient Christian. Of that I have no doubt. I don't believe he has antisocial personality disorder. He does not offend against the law. If anything, he is anal about this. He just has very and often unrealistic expectations of others. Whether or not ALL others count, I don't have a clue. I could not tell you how he interacts with her family. My guess is, she would leave him if he wasn't great to her relatives, so he is. That's why he would let them stay with him...my ex said he rolled his eyes while K. was talking about how her parents will be moving in with them. At the very least, to me that indicates that he is not thrilled, but is willing. If he has any issues they are likely adoption related...perhaps some attachment and abandonment issues. I'd rather not analyze him as I have issues myself (don't we all?). All that matters in my own life is that he has no place in it. And that will not bother him one bit. His wedding alone told us where we stand with him...not one of us was in the wedding party and Jumper and Sonic were excluded from the reception. That is when the trouble started, and that is when I first realized just how little we mattered to him. Not just me. All of us. I don't think his father holds a special place in his heart either and I'm quite sure that the three years he "punished" by ex (Lord knows why) he did not miss him. I do believe he loves his wife and son. I do not know if she is obedient to him. I don't know the dynamics of their marriage other than he is protective of her feelings (as he should be). This is not a totally bad person. He doesn't work in MY life, but I hope he has a very happy life in his own life. I hope he wishes the same for me, but I doubt he even gives it a thought. It is not his fault he did not attach. I am beginning to realize that it is not MY fault either. THAT is part of the closure I needed. [/QUOTE]
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