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<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 728096" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>Newstart, I am so sorry. I am relieved for you that you are not involved with the debt your daughter has accrued (aside from the HOA fees, ouch). Please do not beat yourself up for believing in her and helping her. She is your daughter. If one has the means to help, one does. You don’t have a crystal ball and wouldn’t know the end result. There is nothing wiser than retrospect, of course we can all look back and would have done differently if we had the knowledge then, that we know now.</p><p>Most certainly forgive yourself. Then, for what? For being a loving, kind and generous mother? You have no guilt here, it belongs to your daughter for taking advantage of your generosity.</p><p>It must be a difficult journey tying up all the loose ends and separating financially. Please take good care of yourself and be kinder to you.</p><p> Stop bashing yourself sister.</p><p>Your description of your daughter struck me, I feel the same way. My beautiful daughters. It is sad.</p><p>I wish things were different for us all here, but we are on this most difficult journey where we have to stand up for ourselves and look reality in the face.</p><p>We are people too, we do not deserve to have our kindness abused and used.</p><p>I feel that in standing up for ourselves, we are teaching our adult children a valuable lesson.</p><p>Self respect.</p><p>No matter what, or <em>who, </em>be it our grown children, or other relatives, we are not rugs to be tread upon. No one deserves to be used and mistreated. The only one who is going to change that <em>is us. </em>You are taking steps to stop the abuse of your funds and your heart.</p><p> Good for you NS. Stick to your guns and stay strong.</p><p>You are not alone.</p><p>We are all circling the wagons together.</p><p>((( Hugs)))</p><p>Leafy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 728096, member: 19522"] Newstart, I am so sorry. I am relieved for you that you are not involved with the debt your daughter has accrued (aside from the HOA fees, ouch). Please do not beat yourself up for believing in her and helping her. She is your daughter. If one has the means to help, one does. You don’t have a crystal ball and wouldn’t know the end result. There is nothing wiser than retrospect, of course we can all look back and would have done differently if we had the knowledge then, that we know now. Most certainly forgive yourself. Then, for what? For being a loving, kind and generous mother? You have no guilt here, it belongs to your daughter for taking advantage of your generosity. It must be a difficult journey tying up all the loose ends and separating financially. Please take good care of yourself and be kinder to you. Stop bashing yourself sister. Your description of your daughter struck me, I feel the same way. My beautiful daughters. It is sad. I wish things were different for us all here, but we are on this most difficult journey where we have to stand up for ourselves and look reality in the face. We are people too, we do not deserve to have our kindness abused and used. I feel that in standing up for ourselves, we are teaching our adult children a valuable lesson. Self respect. No matter what, or [I]who, [/I]be it our grown children, or other relatives, we are not rugs to be tread upon. No one deserves to be used and mistreated. The only one who is going to change that [I]is us. [/I]You are taking steps to stop the abuse of your funds and your heart. Good for you NS. Stick to your guns and stay strong. You are not alone. We are all circling the wagons together. ((( Hugs))) Leafy [/QUOTE]
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