meltdown x 1000! What to do?

[whateveryousay2007]

Okay....I'm used to my difficult child having the occasional tantrum or mouth when it comes to something HE doesn't want to do BUT......this one takes the cake!

We stopped by the local craft store to grab a few things to make necklaces for his class. He's walking beside me and takes off running. I say his name a few times and tell him to get back here. He runs past me and swats me on the behind.

Ok....so then he runs an aisle away. I go get him and tell him to stop. This leads into a 5 minute escapade. He runs 3 aisles away screaming and crying at the top of his lungs. I try to catch him but let me tell you....it's hard to catch a skinny little 8 year old. They're fast!

So, he hides but I can still hear him crying. I can't chase him down because he's hid around a bunch of mirrors. Women in the store (mostly older) are looking at me like I'm trying to kidnap my kid! I really thought that they were going to call the police on me. He was hysterical.

Anyway....he finally comes out and I take him by the hand and we walked out. I tried to explain to him that he CAN'T do that. Someone will think that MOMMY is not mommy and interfere. I'm only 5'-2" some big person my try to take him away from me thinking I'm trying to hurt him.

What do you do. I will admit that I held my calm and DID NOT SPANK or BEAT HIM! But I was so frustrated.

 

[Lostparent]

I.m not sure how to handdle this but maybe you could explaine that if he does that again that you will put him on one of those toddler leashes so he can't run.

 

[whateveryousay2007]

I.m not sure how to handdle this but maybe you could explaine that if he does that again that you will put him on one of those toddler leashes so he can't run.

That's a good idea but I don't think they make them to fit him. (I'm going to check it out though) I try to make him ride in the back of the buggy as much as possible....BUT he only wants to do that when HE knows he's been overstimulated.

 

[susiestar]

I remmeber going through this, and the looks from other parents/shoppers was awful. Sorry you had to go through it.

I also told him we would be using the "leash" when he came shopping next time. I couldn't find one, so I used velcro sewn onto a ribbon, with a long cord attached. The ribbon went around his wrist, and he HATED it. It was soft, but he could not run away!! On the second shopping trip I would just have the "leash" in my purse, IF he behaved well on the first one.

I also use a technique we learned from his Montessori director so many years ago. It is called GLUE. I tell whatever child is giving me a problem that they are "glued" to this spot - hand must stay on the spot on the cart, or at home feet/body must stay on the exact spot I point to. They can only get up/away when I unglue them or there is no "screen time". This means no computer, gameboy, gamecube, TV, or anything else with a screen. And I really don't care if teacher X assigned something to be done online or researched online. They can find a way to do it at school or they can hand it in late. I consider that a consequence, part of the "You WILL behave in public with me or I WILL make your life very unpleasant."

Glue works best for us it I can start it BEFORE the child is overstimmed immensely.

I hope maybe you can adapt one of these to help you?

Hugs,

Susie

 

[jean]

I have a thirteen year old son and we were told that he has reactive attachment disorder. We are not sure how to handle this one plus he is ODD. Anyone have a child with this disorder? We are having a hard time getting him to accept conquences without running out of the house to avoid them. When he finally comes back in he still have to do the conquence. Is there away to keep him from running out of the house? Husband won't put dead bolt locks on the door because, when he is having a melt down he might brake the window to get out we don't known. He is home school but have the murturity of a nine year old. Please help! We do not want to put him in a home, we feel it is more ODD going on then any thing else. Jean

 

[daralex]

I don't have a lot of practice in that area and I hope this doesn't sound stupid - but if you're looking for a leash use a real one (not around his neck of course!) But you can take a dog leash, wrap it around his waist and clip the "clippy" part around the leash itself (I wish I could draw a picture!)

Most of all, these things happen, no need for embarrasment in the store - if anything you just made a whole bunch of people's days by giving them something to talk about to take their own lives off of their minds!

 

[whateveryousay2007]

I've learned a long time ago not to be embarrassed by anything that he says or does. But....my concern that I was going to be "detained in a store" that I wanted to leave from because he was acting like a kidnap victim was not entertaining.....to me at least.

Of course husband's solution would've been to spank. I handled it by leaving and waiting a while to explain why he can't do that. Oh...and I took the video games away for the weekend, but I'm sure people enjoyed the show.

 

[PersonalEnigma]

I had difficult child do that type of thing once at a video game store. He didn't want to leave the game he was playing so he yelled that I was trying to kidnap him! I removed him immidiately (he was about 6 at the time), took him around the back of the store and gave him one of the few spankings he's had in his life (I was so upset at him ). I know it may not have been the best response, but I was afraid of the possible reprecussions of his behaviour and wanted it made clear to him that it was 100% unacceptable. He has pulled other things since then in public, but never again has accused me of kidnapping him... I did of course have a long talk to him later about the situation and explained the possible reprecussions. Thank goodness he doesn't do the run away thing any more. He was terrible for it when he was little.

 

[whateveryousay2007]

I have a friend who has 3 of the worst kids I've ever met. I know that it sounds horrible to say it but they are. They used to be around difficult child every now and then. Anyway, they would act up until their father would spank them. Their favorite line was "Help get this crazy person off of me!"

What?

They did it in the yard where neighbors could see/hear.

anyway....my difficult child pulled that with me a few times. Can you imagine? It was horrible.
I'm glad that he doesn't do/say that anymore.