meltdown

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by ash33, Dec 22, 2011.

  1. ash33

    ash33 New Member

    I am sitting in my car this very moment waiting for my 5 year old to put his clothes back on so he can get his hair cut. It's been 35 min. He didn't get dressed at home so the consequence is driving there naked and waiting till he puts on clothes. Now he ia complaining his leg hurts and he hates the world. Crushed ricecakes and threw them all over car. Consequence? Money from his piggy bank to pay for new ones. I'm about to lose it.
     
  2. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    (((((hugs)))))

    It is hard when they are so little. Do you know what about a haircut bothers him? Is he always like this at haircuts? My easy child used to scream her head off during a haircut - she would actually scream until she passed out/fell asleep. It was hideous. My mother used to go on and on about how awful I was for not getting her hair cut. I finally told my mother that if it bothered her that much then SHE was responsible and would take Jess for haircuts. My mother lived 600 or so miles away and only came to town 2x a year. She was horrified wehn J screamed through a haircut and got into a TOTAL power trip with J. I just hid a smile because my mother SWORE it was because we took J to "awful" places and that J would NEVER do that in a "nice" salon. LOLOLOL

    Of course it has been 10+ yrs since then so I can laugh, but it was SOOOOOOOO awful at the time.

    with my boys it was mroe of a sensory thing. Neither wanted to have their hair combed or otherwise messed with, partly because they have eczema and always had it on their scalp and it was hard to treat. I actually bought clippers at walmart and would just shave them instead of going for haircuts because they fought so hard. Wiz almost gave one poor lady a black eye as she tried to cut his hair. He had a TON of tactile defensiveness and lashed out when anyone touched him lightly. A firm touch was okay, but for some reason a light touch truly felt like he was being punched HARD. It is part of his sensory problems. Then as a teen he went to a vocational school and would have the kids in the beauty school there turn his hair all sorts of colors and do something new about every week. So this will pass at some point usually. For Wiz it was having the girls fuss over him that changed things, lol.

    My youngest hates haircuts but also hates his curly hair. they recently cut over 4 inches off and you could barely tell because it just always looks about the same.

    If haircuts are not a HUGE priority, and he fights like this over them all the time, you may want to make them very very low on the priority list. He may not look great, but is it worth this fuss? It may be, only you can tell. It wasnt' for us but was for my mother. NO haircut I got for them was ever good enough until I just put her in charge of them. I never really cared about their hair as long as it was clean and their scalp was healthy. With the scalp eczema it often wasn't and combing/brushing could HURT. Often with the boys we had to shave it with clippers to treat the skin otherwise it got infected and THAT was incredibly painful.

    I hope you can keep calm and see the humor in a 5yo sitting nekkid in a car screaming and covering himself with rice cake crumbs! Making him buy another bag of rice cakes with his money ANd making him clean up the crumbs is an EXCELLENT logical and natural consequence. If possible, go through a drive through and get a coffee or coke or mocha for yourself and NOTHING for him and enjoy the drink until he is done wtih his tantrum.

    (((((hugs)))))
     
  3. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Just want to send you a hug and some strength to outlast him. Lordy, I hated having to out wait my kids when they were little...a couple turned it into endurance contests. Stay on your ipad or whatever.
    Good job for holding it together...it ain't easy! DDD

    by the way, welcome!
     
  4. ash33

    ash33 New Member

    Oh I am definitely getting a coffee. Great idea. This stuff is all power struggle stuff. He's inside hair salin now. He had to go to the bathroom so he chose to get dressed. At first I told hinge could go outside but this obviously wouldn't have been right. He has ADHD and ODD. So this will b the first of many struggles today. Hopefully not. And hes on medications. Thanx for your support
     
  5. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Having just recovered from my son throwing a drink on me the other day and sitting in a parking lot at a police station till he calmed, I can totally relate. good job typing out your frustration! I wish I would have....I threw water back on mine! I felt terrible but in the end he actually acted so different for the rest of the night. Does you son have trouble in transitions or is this about the hair cut? (luckily my son LOVES haircuts....it relaxes him, especially if they do the massage, towel, smelly stuff kind of thing). But transitions stink to high heaven!

    Hope you check in again and let us know more about you and your difficult child. Happy haircut, and here's to a better day!!!
     
  6. Bunny

    Bunny Guest

    Been there, done that. You did a good job waiting him out.
     
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