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Men Vs. Women - a little funny
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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 250731" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: #000000">MEN VS WOMEN </span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: #000000">NICKNAMES - If Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: #000000">If Mike, Charlie, Bob and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: #000000">EATING OUT - When the bill arrives, Mike, Charlie, Bob and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller, and none will actually admit they want change back.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: #000000">When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: #000000">MONEY - A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: #000000">A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: #000000">BATHROOMS - A man has six items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn. The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. Man would not be able to identify most of these items.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: #000000">ARGUMENTS - A woman has the last word in any argument.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: #000000">Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: #000000">FUTURE - A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: #000000">A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: #000000">SUCCESS - A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: #000000">A successful woman is one who can find such a man.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: #000000">MARRIAGE - A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: #000000">A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: #000000">DRESSING UP - A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: #000000">A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: #000000">NATURAL - Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: #000000">Women somehow deteriorate during the night.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: #000000">OFFSPRING</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: #000000">Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: #000000">A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: #000000">THOUGHT FOR THE DAY</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: #000000">Any married man should forget his mistakes.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: #000000">There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.</span></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 250731, member: 4964"] [FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=#000000]MEN VS WOMEN NICKNAMES - If Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose. If Mike, Charlie, Bob and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy. EATING OUT - When the bill arrives, Mike, Charlie, Bob and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller, and none will actually admit they want change back. When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators. MONEY - A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want. BATHROOMS - A man has six items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn. The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. Man would not be able to identify most of these items. ARGUMENTS - A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument. FUTURE - A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. SUCCESS - A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. MARRIAGE - A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does. DRESSING UP - A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail. A man will dress up for weddings and funerals. NATURAL - Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night. OFFSPRING Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house. THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.[/COLOR][/FONT] [/QUOTE]
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