Messed UP!! (ANGRY)

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by neednewtechnique, Dec 22, 2009.

  1. neednewtechnique

    neednewtechnique New Member

    Direct quote from the OH SO HELPFUL police department in our city here in wonderful Indiana.... "Well, its illegal to POSESS marijuana...but it isn't illegal to have it in your SYSTEM!!"
    When I called the police department yesterday, I explained to them that while I had found the drug "ITEMS", I had not yet been able to locate the actual DRUGS, but that I wanted to take difficult child 1 and have her tested...I asked them if the combination of possessing the ITEMS and the positive drug test would be enough for them to make a case. And the above quote was what I got in response to that question... So apparently the LESSON here is....if you want to do all the drugs you want and NOT get into trouble...SMOKE IT NOW because its only illegal if you have it and DONT use it right away....!?!?!?!?!?
    This is NOT what I want to teach difficult child 1 about her newly acquired interest in drugs.
    Of course, this same police officer was kind enough to warn me that if I tried to talk to difficult child on my own about what I found, that she might get angry...and since she is prone to violent outbursts when she gets angry...they would be available to come and arrest her for battery if she decides to hit me...
    So now I have to figure out what to do about all this have a talk with husband about what we plan to do about her visitation with bio mom...because mom lives about an hour away, and the new friends she has made by her mom's are her "suppliers"...
    While I still believe that bio mom has a right to see difficult child 1, I believe that if she is going to have visits with her, there needs to be some assurance that she is being adequately supervised during visits, and that she is fulfilling the PURPOSE of those visits, which is supposed to be spending time with bio mom...not running off doing drugs with her friends. And mom's LOOOOONG history in the drug world would make you think that she cannot be OBLIVIOUS to the fact that difficult child 1 is high the whole time she is either she is not paying ANY attention, or she knows and isn't doing anything about it. EITHER of those things is NOT OKAY!!
    I am not about to be naive enough to believe that she isn't doing some drugs here too...obviously, or she wouldn't be bringing her supplies HOME with her. But you know at least we are aware of the problem and are trying to work on holding her accountable for those actions.
    Sorry, okay this was my little RANT for the day. I have been reading online about how parents should have "the talk" with their teens about drugs, and OBVIOUSLY none of these "experts" has ever raised a difficult child. They will not respond to this conversation the way a easy child kid would, so if ANYONE has any advice on how to bring this up with difficult child 1...I would SO appreciate the advice. Im so frustrated because this definitely needs to go on the "A" list of things that are DEFINITELY not going to be tolerated in the house...but I don't really have any way of enforcing consequences for her. Natural consequences apparently don't exist for doing drugs unless you haven't done them yet, and NOTHING that we say or do seems to make a difference in ANY consequences..
  2. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    This might be horrible advice and I definitely wouldn't blame you for not taking it. But if I couldn't come up with anything better, I'd probably let her think I'd given up and not talk to her about it, then search her stuff without her knowledge after coming home- from anywhere. And of course, when I found something (I'm thinking it's bound to happen at some point and it will happen quicker if she thinks you've given up on the issue), call poilice with the evidence they need.
  3. mstang67chic

    mstang67chic Going Green

    Oh BS!!!!! People get busted for OWI all the time around here! What idjit town are you in???? Besides.....we're talking about a MINOR and I'm pretty sure it's illegal for a MINOR to have, possess, ingest, smoke, juggle, tape to their head or use the bag as an earring. I would skip over the moron you spoke with and ask the chief of police. If HE turns out to be much more helpful, I would also inform him of the lovely advice given to you by one of his superbly trained and edumacated occifers.
  4. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Its illegal to drive while impaired, its not illegal to be impaired. Yes, thats true. Unless you are causing a disturbance, then they can get you for disturbing the peace. Now I think its different for alcohol too. There is a charge for that.

    But yes, the cop was right...if all they do is find her and test her and she comes up with a positive for pot and most likely other drugs but they dont find evidence of other drugs on her, they wont bust her. Now if she has paraphernalia on her, they can get her for that. Even a pipe with residue in it has enough that they could bust her easily.
  5. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not


    I wonder if you would get better results by going in to the police department and asking their advice...? Would they advise you to search her bedroom? Take her for drug testing? Recommend a program for at-risk youth in your community?

    I'll bet that there are a lot of resources that the police department could direct you to--besides just having her arrested.

    It's worth a shot, I think...