Met with school psychiatric re: difficult child 1's options this morning

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by gcvmom, Jan 5, 2011.

  1. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    Bear with me while I try to make sense of it all by writing it down.. I'm still trying to digest all the options. It's probably not going to be decided until the end of next week after his bladder procedure and he has a chance to recuperate.

    My request to consider him OHI so that he can be placed in a critical skills class is on hold until he goes back to school because they aren't allowed to see him while he's on home/hospital. That was one kink I had not anticipated.

    Option #1: Go back to his regular HS schedule for second semester which starts 1/31. Nothing changes.

    Option #2: Go back to his HS and sign up for conjoint (?) enrollment in the alternative study program. He would technically be a student of the alternative HS and take 4 classes there, but he would be allowed to take 2 classes at his regular HS (thus allowing him to keep the LAX team he so badly needs for socialization). They would customize a study program based on his classes.

    Option #3: Go back to his HS and take 4 classes on campus and 2 classes independent study where there would be NO teacher. Essentially it would fall on me and him to ensure he learns the materials provided by the school.

    The psychiatric felt that #2 or #3 would be a good transition off of home/hospital for him in the event he still can't handle a full load. She agrees, based on the history I shared, that the therapist is right in the depression diagnosis, and that this is probably affecting him as much if not more than the health problems he's had this year.

    She said he may end up with an ED designation or OHI, or a combination of both to qualify for the extra support class we want. If he ends up getting this class, he would likely have to drop French. She also felt he should drop biology for second semester and take life science instead because it won't have as heavy a work load. She agrees with me that he probably is not cut out for a 4-year univ. track because of all the issues we are juggling, and that a 2-yr JC approach is more realistic.

    I guess my biggest worry is doing something now that hurts him academically down the road. I worry about the school only looking at his grades to decide whether or not he should continue with a class, since his grades lately have been affected more by physical and mental health than aptitude or ability -- although his ability has been hampered obviously by those other factors. GAAAAH! It just feels very complicated, but it's probably more my anxiety causing that than anything else. Maybe things will seem clearer next week.

    A final option that's waaay in the back is an ED program that's at another HS -- but I don't think he really needs that. And I don't think he'd be receptive to that because he's so attached to this school.

    I also pointed out his lack of friends and obvious social impairment to the psychiatric so that she pays sufficient attention to this category during her assessment. He has "friends" in LAX, but he does not reach out to people outside of that situation. And I see that as a problem that needs to be considered.

    Any comments, feedback, advice is welcomed. Like I said, we have a lot to think about and consider.
  2. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    Here's my thoughts on the options. Who knew you'd need the wisdom of King Solomon to get your child through high school!

    #1- setting him up to fail unless the depression miraculously disappears

    #2- my personal favorite because it covers all bases

    #3- he lacks the maturity and discipline at this point to complete the independent work; you are set up as the bad guy when he struggles
  3. pepperidge

    pepperidge New Member

    I like number 2, and had an older son somewhat in the same boat. I had to give up thinking about the future and just think about how he was going to get through the school year in the healthiest way possible. At some point if he gets too overwhelmed he may give up all together. So your job at this point is to figure out what is a manageable schedule, keep him somewhat socially engaged. We had this talk from a college consultant that says that if kids gain self awareness of their problems and can articulate it and show how far they have come that they are often attractive to colleges. So don't give up too much hope.
  4. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Wow, I love this board! I was struggling through the options and then skipped ahead ... makes total sense to go with-#2. Plus, the psychiatric is rooting for that one, and it sounds like this is a good dr.
    In regard to social embarrassment, there's no way these kids know exactly what the medical issue is, do they? It's really none of their biz. He can just say it was some weird thing he was born with.
    I'm sending hugs ... and a nap for you. :)
  5. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    I vote for #2, for the same reasons as TM.

    I also wouldn't worry about hurting him academically somewhere down the road; you already know he's not heading straight to a university setting right after high school, and he can catch up/make up/relearn whatever he needs at a junior college. Just get him through high school, and figure the rest of it out later.