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<blockquote data-quote="Fran" data-source="post: 251069" data-attributes="member: 3"><p>totoro, there are bad people in this world. They may cover it up by being decent when sober or when you are in grave need but they are bad. Bad for you and bad for your kids.(not to mention your husband). You had no choice when you were a kid but you have choices now. </p><p></p><p>Not knowing a family member will not scar your children but having a grandfather threaten to shoot or actually pull out a gun will scar them. No way should you or they be around him. Let him and his golden child knock each other out.</p><p></p><p>This is the time to decide if you are good enough in your own mind to stand on your own feet and character. Tell yourself that you made it this far doing pretty well. You don't need the **** dad brings to the table. Be polite, be distant and disentangle your well being from his claims of parenthood. He isn't a parent but a drunken, mean sperm donor. There are a lot of them out there and you are fortunate that you have a family of your own that is good and healthy and functioning even with difficult child's. </p><p></p><p>You don't need him and the kids don't need him. Walk away, smile, send a card during the holidays. Let him shoot someone else. Let him bully someone else. You can make a happier life if you choose to do it. Families come in all shapes and sizes with missing members. This is not a man you want to embrace. </p><p></p><p>Hugs. Many of us have to come to terms with dysfunctional bully parents and then move on to make a life that is healthier for our own kids. You know what you don't want having seen dad in all his glory.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Fran, post: 251069, member: 3"] totoro, there are bad people in this world. They may cover it up by being decent when sober or when you are in grave need but they are bad. Bad for you and bad for your kids.(not to mention your husband). You had no choice when you were a kid but you have choices now. Not knowing a family member will not scar your children but having a grandfather threaten to shoot or actually pull out a gun will scar them. No way should you or they be around him. Let him and his golden child knock each other out. This is the time to decide if you are good enough in your own mind to stand on your own feet and character. Tell yourself that you made it this far doing pretty well. You don't need the **** dad brings to the table. Be polite, be distant and disentangle your well being from his claims of parenthood. He isn't a parent but a drunken, mean sperm donor. There are a lot of them out there and you are fortunate that you have a family of your own that is good and healthy and functioning even with difficult child's. You don't need him and the kids don't need him. Walk away, smile, send a card during the holidays. Let him shoot someone else. Let him bully someone else. You can make a happier life if you choose to do it. Families come in all shapes and sizes with missing members. This is not a man you want to embrace. Hugs. Many of us have to come to terms with dysfunctional bully parents and then move on to make a life that is healthier for our own kids. You know what you don't want having seen dad in all his glory. [/QUOTE]
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