trinityroyal
Well-Known Member
Well, #$%^&*#!
Little easy child's soccer team is in the playoffs this weekend. Little easy child's team has been doing really well this year, and they're going into the tournament in 1st place. Because of their winning record Ex-h has been really involved, and has been going to all the games whether Little easy child is with him or with me. (Funny, last year when Little easy child's team was 3rd from last place, Ex-h showed very little interest...)
Little easy child tends to get nervous tummy-aches and other symptoms whenever Ex-H and I are in the same place at the same time, so I don't go to the games during Ex's time, to lessen Little easy child's anxiety.
Anyway, I found out this morning that not only will Ex-h be at all the games this weekend, but he has also invited my parents to attend the tournament as well.
I haven't set eyes on them in 5 years, and I haven't spoken to them for nearly as long. There have been a few occasions over the years where they've tried to initiate contact (always through Ex-h, and once through Facebook), but I've never responded. My parents' bring out in me a huge load of raw, unprocessed pain. Agonizing, tear-my-eyes-out pain. And until I understand it and process it, I don't want to be forced into a meeting.
But Little easy child is so proud of his team's achievement, and he loves to play soccer regardless of how his team is doing. I can't spoil it for him. I won't spoil it for him. I will take him to the games, come what may.
But here's my worry...what may come? I am so not ready to see my parents, let alone speak to or otherwise interact with them. And I don't want to add to Little easy child's anxiety, especially since he's at the centre of the estrangement, through no fault of his own, my poor little lad -- if he gets tummy-aches whenever Ex-h and I are in the same place, how will he react to this mess? Little easy child can be so brave and stoic when he has to, but I don't want him to have to. I just want him to be able to go out and play, have fun, and see how his team does in the games without another thought in his head.
What on earth am I supposed to do???
I can't even talk to husband about it. He gets so angry at them, and then I have to spend my emotional energy calming him down. Not helpful.
I just want to hide in a hole
Little easy child's soccer team is in the playoffs this weekend. Little easy child's team has been doing really well this year, and they're going into the tournament in 1st place. Because of their winning record Ex-h has been really involved, and has been going to all the games whether Little easy child is with him or with me. (Funny, last year when Little easy child's team was 3rd from last place, Ex-h showed very little interest...)
Little easy child tends to get nervous tummy-aches and other symptoms whenever Ex-H and I are in the same place at the same time, so I don't go to the games during Ex's time, to lessen Little easy child's anxiety.
Anyway, I found out this morning that not only will Ex-h be at all the games this weekend, but he has also invited my parents to attend the tournament as well.
I haven't set eyes on them in 5 years, and I haven't spoken to them for nearly as long. There have been a few occasions over the years where they've tried to initiate contact (always through Ex-h, and once through Facebook), but I've never responded. My parents' bring out in me a huge load of raw, unprocessed pain. Agonizing, tear-my-eyes-out pain. And until I understand it and process it, I don't want to be forced into a meeting.
But Little easy child is so proud of his team's achievement, and he loves to play soccer regardless of how his team is doing. I can't spoil it for him. I won't spoil it for him. I will take him to the games, come what may.
But here's my worry...what may come? I am so not ready to see my parents, let alone speak to or otherwise interact with them. And I don't want to add to Little easy child's anxiety, especially since he's at the centre of the estrangement, through no fault of his own, my poor little lad -- if he gets tummy-aches whenever Ex-h and I are in the same place, how will he react to this mess? Little easy child can be so brave and stoic when he has to, but I don't want him to have to. I just want him to be able to go out and play, have fun, and see how his team does in the games without another thought in his head.
What on earth am I supposed to do???
I can't even talk to husband about it. He gets so angry at them, and then I have to spend my emotional energy calming him down. Not helpful.
I just want to hide in a hole