Might see my estranged parents for the 1st time in 5 years. What to do??!!

trinityroyal

Well-Known Member
Star, I have printed out those words and will have them folded in my pocket. Just in case. And you're absolutely right...I didn't let my parents ruin my life, despite their efforts. I won't let them ruin Little easy child's or my day.
I have my game face ready, and I know you'll all be with me in spirit. Thanks for the kind thoughts and hugs everyone.

I have the game schedule, and have packed a picnic lunch. Here's hoping that Little easy child and the other Dynamos have a fabulous tournament to cap off a fabulous season. Go, Dynamos, Go!
 

witzend

Well-Known Member
I'm all for being the better person. Publicly. If I were to go I would be pleasant and treat them as if I knew them casually or maybe had heard of them. No drama. "Hello. How are you? I'm fine, thank you." If they broached a subject that was painful I'd either find a reason to excuse myself or outright ignore them. Mind you I met my parents and aunt and uncle at a public event (fine arts auction, so no real visiting allowed) unexpectedly several years ago and I just ignored them. They looked like fools. "Is that Witzend? OMG, it's Witzend! Why is she just standing there? Why isn't she saying hello to us?" Peeking around pillars and pointing. It was humiliating to them, I thought. I stood my ground for over an hour until I was done doing what I was doing and left without saying a word. Who the heck were those people, and who were they talking about, anyway?

But, I digress. In your situation and with all my hindsight regarding L and her dad & family as well as my rift with my folks, I would explain to your easy child that you know that this day is his day, and how important his happiness was to you. I'd acknowledge that you understand that the mixing of the families can be uncomfortable for him. Assure him that you are proud of him wherever you are and whatever he does and ask him what he prefers you to do. Be sure that he understands that he can think about it, and can even reconsider at a later date and you won't think less of him regardless of what he decides because you always love him.

Hope this helps you.
 

trinityroyal

Well-Known Member
My Board friends, I felt you at my back keeping me strong this morning. I managed to keep my game-face on, and said a polite but distant hello to my father when he greeted me, but didn't engage in the conversation he clearly wanted. I expect there will be more of the same at the remaining games this afternoon.

Witz, thank you so much for your wisdom. It is a tremendous help, especially as Little easy child was chatting with my father and found out that my brother (also estranged), his wife and their children are all planning to be there tomorrow as well. I feel lucky to have been forewarned of that, rather than having it sprung on me. I'm not sure what I will do if confronted with the whole group, but I will make sure that easy child knows I am proud of him, and that this is his time and his family members are all there to love and support him, regardless of how we feel about each other.

The games continue (both kinds)...
 
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