Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by Shari, Mar 12, 2008.
Anyone heard from him?
Just been thinking about him and wondered how things are going.
I'm here. Just waiting on the outcome of McWeedy's latest and greatest adventures. Nothing much to say: he's still drinking, he's still disobedient and defiant, he's still a lazy slob, and he's still at home. wife and I still have our moments of agreement, and moments of extreme disagreement. Dancer is still dancing, and Sarge is still in pre-medication.
Like I said, nothing much has changed.
However, McW does have court tomorrow on the theft charges, and I'm pretty sure he's dropped a few dirty UA's for booze. So, tomorrow he could show up to face misdemeanor theft charges, and end up leaving in a paddy wagon on his way to Central Booking for violating his diversion agreement.
If anything happens tomorrow, I'll post an update.
Keeping everything crossed in CA that whatever happens tomorrow will be a step in a positive direction for you all...
Never thought I'd say wish you luck and mean that I hope they lock a kid up. It may be the only way to wake McW up. Whatever happens, we're here for you. Wishing for the best for all concerned.
Big, solid hugs, Mikey. And a Chicago sized shoulder to lean on (or even cry on. Don't worry, I won't tell anyone.)
Another lending support for tomorrow. No matter how angry we are at our kids, seeing them taken away in cuffs is not a pleasant experience. I wish they'd see that's where the behavior is leading before it gets to that point, but being difficult child's, they think they know everything and it will never happen to them.
Sending good thoughts for tomorrow and hugs to get through it,
Sending prayers and support. I know it is very hard.
We are all with you in that courtroom tomorrow!!
Hi! Mikey! How are YOU holding up? Personally, I wouldn't mind seeing his butt in the pokey even if it's only a few days as a wake-up call, however I think we need to know that YOU'RE ok.
Thinkin' of ya!
Thinking of you Mikey.
Also thinking of you Mikey! Just a warning, my own experience with "court".....my expectations were way too high. Most court appearances were little more than someone reading charges, someone else saying blah blah blah, and then another "court date" gets set. I wouldn't be too surprised if McW is unimpressed with "court" today.
Might be different in your State / County! That's just my input, wanted to share. Of course I'll be with you in spirit today, hoping for the best (whatever that may be)
Add me to the voices lending support today.
And my experience with court sounds very much like PonyGirl's. It was like an assembly line or even a deli counter, except that people's lives and futures are at stake.
Thinking of you and hope that the outcome leads to positive changes for all of you.
Don't expect much "closure" in Court. Fingers crossed that help is offered, however. DDD
Thanks, everyone, for the support.
Ponygirl, Trinity, et al, re:
I have a "hunch" about this one. When I went in to pay McW's remaining diversion fee earlier this week, I spoke with one of the prosecutors (they run the program). I inquired about not paying the second half of the fee if McW gets his diversion revoked and heads back to court. "Nope. The fee is due in full upon acceptance to the program. It's the price someone pays for a second chance at a record-free life via diversion. If you fail to complete the program one day or 11 months into it, the fee is still due - and forfeit".
He then made the not-so-cryptic remark "I've seen his file - he had his chance"....
Fair enough. I pay the other half, put it on McWeedy's tab, and then waited outside to finish the remaining paperwork. While there, I hear the diversion officer chewing out another "diversionee" about three failed UA's for booze. Most of the talk was quiet (as it should be), but it was hard not to hear the diversion officer's angry voice saying "you agreed not to drink or do drugs, yet you showed dirty three times in a month. What to you think we're going to do?". He then says "Well, you're going to jail. No, not house arrest, jail. Diversion revoked, wait here while I get an officer to arrest you...."
Sheesh. Sounds like this "poor soul" came in for a normal meeting with his DO, who was waiting for him to show up and confront him with the failed UA's. I know they expect to see folks on drug/booze diversion to show dirty, but McW was specifically told that they expect to see the numbers go down. And in the case of booze, they better never see it because it's out of the system in 12-24 hours, and doesn't take months to metabolize out of your fat cells. This poor fellow dropped dirty for booze at least twice, sounds like the third bad test was the bad-luck charm.
Which got me to thinking, I wonder how many UA's McW's failed from booze that he doesn't know about yet.....
Anyway, after waiting (and unobtrusively listening) for about 20 minutes, I see McW's prosecutor walk over to his diversion officer and quietly ask about his UA's. I know he failed the one on Tuesday, since he was out all night and came home stinkin' drunk at 1am, was still puking up vodka (or whatever) at 2:30am. No way he passes a UA less than 12 hours later. He's already in court on theft charges today. All I heard was "I need one more UA, when will that be?" (it was that day, by coincidence). Then I heard the word "arrest".
My guess is that McW's going to show up for the theft charges, have to face them, and will then be revoked by the prosecutor and arrested. Why send a patrolman over when McW's going to come to them, in their house?
That will be a shock for him if it happens, since wife won't be there (she won't go), and I'm not sure I can get away from work to go (or would go, even if I could get away). Then again, maybe he expects to get arrested tomorrow. He might be expecting it because he tried to schmooze 20 bucks of "his" money from us last night (at 8:30pm) to "go play lazer tag" for three hours. On a school night, when he has a college class the next day at 8am.
I told him no. When he asked why, I replied that the last few times he's asked for money to take his girlfriend to dinner, go get gas because he's out, whatever, he always ends up disappearing for the night and comes back drunk (or smelling like he'd been drinking). "But I don't have school tomorrow - it's spring break!". "Sorry, you owe us over 700 dollars, you haven't been to work for a week, your Mother spent her whole weekend doing most of your work on your artwork for the Starbucks display while you slobbed on the couch, and yet you want twenty bucks. Even if I did trust you, it's abominable that you ask us for money after all that. So no, you can't have any".
So, he skulks up to his room, but something's up. At 10pm, he's still fully dressed (including shoes and a hoody), reading. Not 10 minutes after wife gets in the shower, he bolts for the front door yelling "Exxxxx is taking me out to dinner, back in an hour". And he's gone.
And, is it a shock he never came home? I'd guess he's expecting bad things to happen at court, and decided to go for one last hurrah before trading his thug duds for an orange jumpsuit.
Maybe his suspicions (and mine) are right, and he'll be sleeping at the county concrete hotel tonight. Or, maybe the McWeedy lucky charm spell is still in full force and he'll walk away with another court date, but otherwise unscathed. But I doubt it. And I hope not. We'll see.
wife has already stated (and I quickly agreed) that if McW gets arrested, he can make his own bail/bond, and find his own attorney (i.e. a public defender). He's a big boy now...
I'll let everyone know later how it goes.
Good for you for standing your ground. GREAT for wife to say he can find his own bail/PD.
Sending positive thoughts that SOMETHING good comes of this today.
oooooh!! Thanks for the Update! That's wild, hearing what you heard at the DO place. Hmmmmmmm........Okay now I'm on pins & needles!!
Ah, but one other note, when my difficult child dropped dirty on probation, they did arrest him, he did go to jail, for a whole wopping three days.
To our difficult child's, 3 days ain't nothin'. In fact, it only seems to increase their 'bad rep' cuz they 'did time'.
Here's hoping your situation will be different!!
That is very good news, your wife is heading the right direction.
She is heading towards status
I'm sorry Mikey. Any chance in getting him in a treatment center? Does the diversion program offer that? It just drives me crazy that they don't address the real issue. I know, I'm dealing with much the same thing.
Mikey, I don't even know what to say. The stress you are going through is monumental....I'm so sorry. These kids can put us through the ringer over and over. Whatever has happened by now (I've been on vacation), I pray it's something that will start turning him around. Do you think that some day when he's grown and a productive citizen, he'll tell his teen children what NOT to do??? I'm keeping the faith....
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