mini ant update
- Thread starter Sunlight
- Start date
gottaloveem
Active Member
Oh boy, this is another one of those "tears in my eyes" response.
I have been dreading this update. Do you know how long he may go to jail? I am sorry Janet, I know that your mommy heart is breaking. Once for Ant. and once for Kaleb. I agree with the others in that Kaleb is soooo lucky to have you as a grandma. Does Danielle give you any idea when she may come back for Kaleb?
I will be thinking of you and your family. I hope Ant doesn't have to wait too long. That would stress out even the calmest of people.
I have been dreading this update. Do you know how long he may go to jail? I am sorry Janet, I know that your mommy heart is breaking. Once for Ant. and once for Kaleb. I agree with the others in that Kaleb is soooo lucky to have you as a grandma. Does Danielle give you any idea when she may come back for Kaleb?
I will be thinking of you and your family. I hope Ant doesn't have to wait too long. That would stress out even the calmest of people.
hope1990
New Member
((((((HUGS))))) to you and Kaleb. Sorry to hear of ant's sentence. I have a feeling that my difficult child will be sent to prison next month he has court on the 24th. He told his po that he broke probation as he was set to have a lie detector test, and he knew. He had been off his medications and I was after him about that and other things, but he always knew what he was doing, yeah right!
I didn't bail him out he spent 4 days in jail and his friends bailed him out. They brought him back to grandmas where he had been living but I booted him out of there. This is "yet, again" so hard.
The stress is about to do me in, things between husband and I are not good, he just acts as if difficult child doesn't exist and there isn't anything happening. He even accused me of being no better then difficult child and walking all over people just to protect difficult child; Hello, where did that come from as I was letting him sit in jail, I didn't bail him out, yeah, it was the toughest thing to do, I felt I was being coldhearted. Where is the line between "coldhearted and toughlove?"
I was in contact with his po, which husband hasn't even talked to.
I'm sorry to unload, right now I just hate my life, the whole thing. You are so strong.
Just wanted you to know am thinking of you.
I didn't bail him out he spent 4 days in jail and his friends bailed him out. They brought him back to grandmas where he had been living but I booted him out of there. This is "yet, again" so hard.
The stress is about to do me in, things between husband and I are not good, he just acts as if difficult child doesn't exist and there isn't anything happening. He even accused me of being no better then difficult child and walking all over people just to protect difficult child; Hello, where did that come from as I was letting him sit in jail, I didn't bail him out, yeah, it was the toughest thing to do, I felt I was being coldhearted. Where is the line between "coldhearted and toughlove?"
I was in contact with his po, which husband hasn't even talked to.
I'm sorry to unload, right now I just hate my life, the whole thing. You are so strong.
Just wanted you to know am thinking of you.
Abbey
Spork Queen
It's so hard to watch them self destruct. I guess in some odd sense he should be thankful that he never killed anyone while driving drunk. Maybe this time away will give him some time to really think about his actions.
As far as Kaleb...HUGS to you. It kind of makes you (sad to say) hope that Danielle doesn't come back.
My guess is that Ant will take this next month and go all out. When all you have to look forward to is prison, you might as well do whatever you want. Hope he doesn't do that.
Abbey
As far as Kaleb...HUGS to you. It kind of makes you (sad to say) hope that Danielle doesn't come back.
My guess is that Ant will take this next month and go all out. When all you have to look forward to is prison, you might as well do whatever you want. Hope he doesn't do that.
Abbey
muttmeister
Well-Known Member
Sending big hugs and prayers your way. :angel:
I'm one of the "old hands" here and have been reading Ant's saga for years. There have been so many ups and downs. So many chances seemingly taken and then missed.... But don't give up.We can only pray that this time something will click. I do know that sometimes as they get older they do find some maturity. My difficult child (#1) has become a relative easy child compared to the one who started out as a easy child (difficult child#2). It's too bad that our kids only seem to learn things the hard way. :rolleyes:
Your grandson is very lucky to have you in his life. Perhaps you will have to concentrate on him for awhile and hope that God will guide Ant to some kind of realization of what he needs to do. I have seen people turn their lives around in their 20s, their 30s, their 40s, and even later. Here's hoping this will be the final wake up call for him.
Good luck.
I'm one of the "old hands" here and have been reading Ant's saga for years. There have been so many ups and downs. So many chances seemingly taken and then missed.... But don't give up.We can only pray that this time something will click. I do know that sometimes as they get older they do find some maturity. My difficult child (#1) has become a relative easy child compared to the one who started out as a easy child (difficult child#2). It's too bad that our kids only seem to learn things the hard way. :rolleyes:
Your grandson is very lucky to have you in his life. Perhaps you will have to concentrate on him for awhile and hope that God will guide Ant to some kind of realization of what he needs to do. I have seen people turn their lives around in their 20s, their 30s, their 40s, and even later. Here's hoping this will be the final wake up call for him.
Good luck.
ant is due to go to prison for one to two yrs. it will be a state penitentiary, there are many in our state and he is not yet assigned to one. the length of the sentence is determined by his behavior in prison.
kaleb is a dear soul. he came here with lice crawling in his hair and hungry. he is very easy to have but a three year old with lots of busy ways. he still naps one hr a day and has potty training pretty good. his mom said she "might" get him Sunday. she is always tired when you mention him, but she parties all the time, is a night turn bartender, has a live in boyfriend who doesnt care to deal with Kaleb. a neighbor in the public housing they live in keeps kaleb a lot of the time because he wanders up there. she is on the computer or sleeping most of the time like kaleb's mom.
his mom said she is too busy to have him this weekend, and ant says the same. neither is cut out to be a parent,neither ever buys him anything but candy, both love him but treat him like a toy they can pick up and then put on a shelf. I think he is starting to know that and never cries for either of them to see him.
ant said he cannot sleep and must drink to sleep yet when I took him to the doctor for klonipin and sleeping medications, he sold them for money for beer. I will not take him to the doctor again. I do love him but cannot hug him. he hugs me and I am kinda limp and unresponsive. I am angry that he continues this terrible life. he does pay for kaleb's babysitter while I work. the rest he spends on himself. I believe neither parent will ever change and want to be with kaleb more.
the roof is done so ant is back at his own place. the other difficult child offered me 20.00 for keeping him and feeding him but I told him to save it and get straight for his child. I saw them carrying out 4 empty beer cases at ant's place later last night.
kaleb is a dear soul. he came here with lice crawling in his hair and hungry. he is very easy to have but a three year old with lots of busy ways. he still naps one hr a day and has potty training pretty good. his mom said she "might" get him Sunday. she is always tired when you mention him, but she parties all the time, is a night turn bartender, has a live in boyfriend who doesnt care to deal with Kaleb. a neighbor in the public housing they live in keeps kaleb a lot of the time because he wanders up there. she is on the computer or sleeping most of the time like kaleb's mom.
his mom said she is too busy to have him this weekend, and ant says the same. neither is cut out to be a parent,neither ever buys him anything but candy, both love him but treat him like a toy they can pick up and then put on a shelf. I think he is starting to know that and never cries for either of them to see him.
ant said he cannot sleep and must drink to sleep yet when I took him to the doctor for klonipin and sleeping medications, he sold them for money for beer. I will not take him to the doctor again. I do love him but cannot hug him. he hugs me and I am kinda limp and unresponsive. I am angry that he continues this terrible life. he does pay for kaleb's babysitter while I work. the rest he spends on himself. I believe neither parent will ever change and want to be with kaleb more.
the roof is done so ant is back at his own place. the other difficult child offered me 20.00 for keeping him and feeding him but I told him to save it and get straight for his child. I saw them carrying out 4 empty beer cases at ant's place later last night.
Teri (AKA goingcrazy2)
New Member
Oh Janet I am so sorry to hear about this. The saga of ant continues and I had so hoped that after the latest he was truly turning his life around. I know your heart breaks for him and I will keep you in my thoughts.
As for Kaleb, what you wrote made me so sad, thank God he has you for a grandma, it doesn't sound like Danielle or ant have the parenting skills the baby so needs.
I am wondering the same as Ponygirl. Will Danielle just let you keep him and are you willing/able to do that? It just sounds like he is a little boy on his way to being lost in his mother's hands....I am so sorry. What a heartache.
As for Kaleb, what you wrote made me so sad, thank God he has you for a grandma, it doesn't sound like Danielle or ant have the parenting skills the baby so needs.
I am wondering the same as Ponygirl. Will Danielle just let you keep him and are you willing/able to do that? It just sounds like he is a little boy on his way to being lost in his mother's hands....I am so sorry. What a heartache.
goldenguru
Active Member
Janet~
God bless you. You do a fine job dealing with all of this. Your commitment to your grandson is to be applauded. May He continue to guide you and strengthen you and you walk this road.
((((hugs))))
God bless you. You do a fine job dealing with all of this. Your commitment to your grandson is to be applauded. May He continue to guide you and strengthen you and you walk this road.
((((hugs))))
I wish his mom would let me keep him. I talked to her last night. she will not give him up formally. yet again, she still has not set a day for him to return.
I would keep him if she would be willing, but he is her ticket to welfare housing and benefits. she is not giving that up. ant has not paid one cent for him since birth other than now I insist he pay for the babysitter while I work.
she could go to court and go after ant for child support as well. she threatens to do that and she could. ( and probably should) with him going to jail for a while, it is a moot point.
her boyfriend and she are eating up the food stamp money she gets for him. whatever. so long as he is here, I do not care what she does.
I would keep him if she would be willing, but he is her ticket to welfare housing and benefits. she is not giving that up. ant has not paid one cent for him since birth other than now I insist he pay for the babysitter while I work.
she could go to court and go after ant for child support as well. she threatens to do that and she could. ( and probably should) with him going to jail for a while, it is a moot point.
her boyfriend and she are eating up the food stamp money she gets for him. whatever. so long as he is here, I do not care what she does.
I thought at least in the state of Ohio, that once the mother is recieivng assistance for and , or child, that an automatic DNA test is done, and then they go after the father fro child support? That is how it came to be for my son. Now even when doesnt keep payments up it is not his ex going to court to get payment with a threat of contempt of court, and jail, it is just the child support agency.
Jen
Jen
Big Bad Kitty
lolcat
I've been without the internet for a couple days.
You, Ant, and precious Kaleb are in my prayers.
You, Ant, and precious Kaleb are in my prayers.
Marcie Mac
Just Plain Ole Tired
Am sorry to hear that Ant has blown it again. It gets to be a vicious cycle they can't seem to kick themselves out of.
Marcie
Marcie
SunnyFlorida
Active Member
Sometimes it takes forever for the "system" to catch up.
I work with a family whose mommy keeps the check but the kiddo stays with daddy and PGM. Mommy comes and sees the child, whenever...yet brings the child back to daddy and PGM. It's a workable situation that they all are content to live with. Daddy and PGM don't want to disturb the continuity they have and if it costs them the monthly check...well so be it.
At this point, it's whatever works.
I work with a family whose mommy keeps the check but the kiddo stays with daddy and PGM. Mommy comes and sees the child, whenever...yet brings the child back to daddy and PGM. It's a workable situation that they all are content to live with. Daddy and PGM don't want to disturb the continuity they have and if it costs them the monthly check...well so be it.
At this point, it's whatever works.
Stella Johnson
Active Member
I'm surprised the state hasn't forced a DNA test so that they can recoup some of the $$ they have paid Danielle for the baby.
I think Kaleb is stadn offish with Ant because he doesn't feel that he is there for him all the time. Same with his mother. He knows you are there to take care of him. I wish Danielle would just give him to you. I hate to think of what that poor baby goes through at home. :crying:
Ant just stays in the same vicious circle. Someday I hope he can break it. I think he has it in him to be good father if he could kick his alcohol and drug habits.
I'm sure your mommy heart is hurting. It can't be easy to watch your child do this to himself.
Steph
I think Kaleb is stadn offish with Ant because he doesn't feel that he is there for him all the time. Same with his mother. He knows you are there to take care of him. I wish Danielle would just give him to you. I hate to think of what that poor baby goes through at home. :crying:
Ant just stays in the same vicious circle. Someday I hope he can break it. I think he has it in him to be good father if he could kick his alcohol and drug habits.
I'm sure your mommy heart is hurting. It can't be easy to watch your child do this to himself.
Steph
Ephchap
Active Member
Aww, Janet, I just saw this. I'm so sorry that once again, Ant's cycle continues. I know it breaks your heart.
As for Kaleb, I too know of a few people who had an agreement worked out where they never formally filed any papers, the mom collected whatever she did, and the child never lived with her. I wonder if Danielle would agree to it.
Sending hugs,
Deb
As for Kaleb, I too know of a few people who had an agreement worked out where they never formally filed any papers, the mom collected whatever she did, and the child never lived with her. I wonder if Danielle would agree to it.
Sending hugs,
Deb
