Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Minor annoyance and HUH? Reached out to difficult child's girlfriend's parents & was IGNORED
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 478424"><p>Oh I am sorry these parents are not supportive and are not responding... really no excuse for not responding to you.I have heard some crazy stories like this from others... I think there are several possible explanations. 1) It may be they see nothing wrong with underage drinking and pot smoking and think you are overreacting and hear your sons side and sympathize with him. 2) The issues you described to them may have felt overwhelming and they just don't want to deal with it, and your son has been on his best behavior with them and so they don' tsee it, 3) Their daughter really wants to be with your son, and they don't want to do anything to upset their daughter and so for her sake are staying out of it. Or it could be a combination of all 3.</p><p></p><p>I don't think any of these explanations make sense or are good parenting or good judgemnt. I really think in this day and age parents need to support each other as much as possible.</p><p></p><p>I have had two expeiernces with difficult children girlfriend parents. The first gfs parents were wonderful. Her mom and I got to know each other and we really liked each other. The kids met when they were in 11th grade and difficult child had just come back from a TBS and was doing really well and was sober. She was a very nice girl from a very nice family. They got quite attached to my difficult child and were very very good to them. The mom and I became friends and for a period she was someone I could really talk to because even with all of his issues and his drama she sincerely cared about difficult child. He started doing some pretty hurtful stuff to the girlfriend (including stealing momey from her). Her mom told me and we stayed in touch even when they broke up she still cared about him acknowledging that he was pretty messed up. For my part I recognized their feelings of upset with him and did not excuse his bad behavior. The two kids kept breaking upand getting back together. Eventually I think it just got to be too much for the mom.. and she learned fo some more hurtful things and she basically the mom lost her love for him. She wrote me a heartfelt email explaining how she felt and I completely understood and actually feel like she was behind him a lot longer than I woudl have been in her shoes. I have not been in touch with her and i think it is too difficult to really be friends, but if I saw her it would be good to see her and would be fine. I think I was lucky to have such caring parents... and we did keep in touch about things with the kids which at times was really helpful to both of us.</p><p></p><p>My other experience was very indirect... I never met the mother of my sons more recent girlfriend. However my son was in another state for rehab a year ago. The girlfriend supported him going there... and then broke up with him while he was there and that was actually good, and he was going to stay down there... they they got back together via telephone and she and her mother paid for him to come back here. He called to tell me and I told him I thought it was a really bad idea. I tried to get the # of the girlfriend mother but could not.... and really what mother would bring home a drug addict boyfriend back from a sober house, a boyfriend who had spent time in jail... I mean honestly paying for his plane ticket??? I could not understand it at all!!! All I could figure is that she was trying to please her daughter.</p><p></p><p>So I think parents can be all over the place and can be very misguided...... at this point you now know these people are not really in your court. My guess is if your son spends enough time there they will start to see behaviors that worry them, especially if he is drinking and smoking a lot of pot.</p><p></p><p>Hugs it is hard.</p><p></p><p>TL</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 478424"] Oh I am sorry these parents are not supportive and are not responding... really no excuse for not responding to you.I have heard some crazy stories like this from others... I think there are several possible explanations. 1) It may be they see nothing wrong with underage drinking and pot smoking and think you are overreacting and hear your sons side and sympathize with him. 2) The issues you described to them may have felt overwhelming and they just don't want to deal with it, and your son has been on his best behavior with them and so they don' tsee it, 3) Their daughter really wants to be with your son, and they don't want to do anything to upset their daughter and so for her sake are staying out of it. Or it could be a combination of all 3. I don't think any of these explanations make sense or are good parenting or good judgemnt. I really think in this day and age parents need to support each other as much as possible. I have had two expeiernces with difficult children girlfriend parents. The first gfs parents were wonderful. Her mom and I got to know each other and we really liked each other. The kids met when they were in 11th grade and difficult child had just come back from a TBS and was doing really well and was sober. She was a very nice girl from a very nice family. They got quite attached to my difficult child and were very very good to them. The mom and I became friends and for a period she was someone I could really talk to because even with all of his issues and his drama she sincerely cared about difficult child. He started doing some pretty hurtful stuff to the girlfriend (including stealing momey from her). Her mom told me and we stayed in touch even when they broke up she still cared about him acknowledging that he was pretty messed up. For my part I recognized their feelings of upset with him and did not excuse his bad behavior. The two kids kept breaking upand getting back together. Eventually I think it just got to be too much for the mom.. and she learned fo some more hurtful things and she basically the mom lost her love for him. She wrote me a heartfelt email explaining how she felt and I completely understood and actually feel like she was behind him a lot longer than I woudl have been in her shoes. I have not been in touch with her and i think it is too difficult to really be friends, but if I saw her it would be good to see her and would be fine. I think I was lucky to have such caring parents... and we did keep in touch about things with the kids which at times was really helpful to both of us. My other experience was very indirect... I never met the mother of my sons more recent girlfriend. However my son was in another state for rehab a year ago. The girlfriend supported him going there... and then broke up with him while he was there and that was actually good, and he was going to stay down there... they they got back together via telephone and she and her mother paid for him to come back here. He called to tell me and I told him I thought it was a really bad idea. I tried to get the # of the girlfriend mother but could not.... and really what mother would bring home a drug addict boyfriend back from a sober house, a boyfriend who had spent time in jail... I mean honestly paying for his plane ticket??? I could not understand it at all!!! All I could figure is that she was trying to please her daughter. So I think parents can be all over the place and can be very misguided...... at this point you now know these people are not really in your court. My guess is if your son spends enough time there they will start to see behaviors that worry them, especially if he is drinking and smoking a lot of pot. Hugs it is hard. TL [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Minor annoyance and HUH? Reached out to difficult child's girlfriend's parents & was IGNORED
Top