Miss KT dropped by...

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by KTMom91, May 26, 2008.

  1. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    This is the first time I've seen her or spoken to her in nearly a week. My mother has agreed to keep Miss KT till school's out, and then we'll have a meeting to see where she goes for the summer and/or next year. My mother felt Miss KT should spend some time with her useless father this summer, so she called him...he isn't even willing to have her down there for a weekend. I could have told her that BEFORE she made the phone call, but it's nice to be validated.

    Miss KT came in, picked up some things, said maybe four words, and left, oozing hostility from every pore. Unless she can be civil and treat us with respect, I do not want her back in my house. This week has been so peaceful! No screaming, fighting, cross words...it's been wonderful! Is this what home is supposed to be like?
     
  2. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    Yikes! Will she be a junior or a senior next year? What a worthless load of **** her dad is! It is nice to be validated, but how sad.

    If KT's sperm donor won't take her for the summer - or at all, is Mom going to keep her? What a rough spot to be in for everyone!

    Enjoy the peace and quiet while you can. Rest up and enjoy, you know this can't last forever! :(
     
  3. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    I agree with Witz ~ enjoy this while you can. Is Ms. KT aware that she isn't welcome unless/until she learns respect & manners?

    Just curious. Take care.
     
  4. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Enjoy the peace and quiet while you can. I would imagine that if you mom has house rules, she will show her true side there soon and then she could very well be back with you this summer. Get a plan in place now.

    Worthless sperm donor.............

    Sharon
     
  5. Christy

    Christy New Member

    Glad you are getting some time to relax. :) Sorry about the situation that has led to it. I guess dad's refusal to take KT will give her one less threatening ultimatum to toss out when she gets angry. Is your mom willing to let her stay thru summer?

    Hope your meeting to work out a plan goes well.
    Christy
     
  6. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    KT,

    This is (sorta) what we had to do with Dude finally. Since I have no relatives, brothers or sisters that would help and no grands close - we had to do Foster Care. And it seems for us to be helping.

    Is peaceful home what it is supposed to be like? Yes. Have I had to turn my back on Dude and not call, not interrupt, not be a mom, not interject, not send a card, not call the school, not call him at his house, not call the fosters, not ask about him one iota? Yes. Did it hurt? Yes. Is it easy? Not at all. Does it work?

    2 schools of thought on this because to some would argue that Dude is capable of behaving and won't. Others would say he can't. So if it is a matter of HE WON'T...I would never know by coddling him and not toughing out the parental tough love it takes to make him find out if he can fly on his own. If it's a matter of he can't? Then I'm sticking to nothing ventured nothing gained for us both, and will re-group with an alternative young adult plan that will help him adjust to life without us babying him.

    I guess the peace is okay - but it's not all it's cracked up to be; because I miss him. On the other hand - when we did try to have him here with tons of outside help in place it just did not work. Personally? I don't know if he's EVER going to be happy. I can say that since he hasn't been here arguing with us - he appears to be happier which is good for us all. No kid really ever wants to seethe ugly and be miserable all the time - not really, it happens, and how you react to it (or don't if they dont' live at home) seems to help them grow up quite a bit.

    At least for now - Dude seems to be finally understanding some of the rudimentary lessons that we taught him at home, but he wasn't receptive to under our guidance. Amazing that since there is no one to aruge with about what has to be done in life irregardless - he's buckling down and seems to realize things in a whole new light. Personally as a parent I would have LOVED for him to have "GOTTEN" some of the same things I taught at home, but at this point I really don't care WHO he finally accepts the lessons from - as long as they stick." Apparently I'm flourescent light and the fosters are bright, beaming, blistering, day light.

    Sunny Sunny Day! lol.

    The tough part of tough love to me is learning as a parent to allow yourself the privledge of saying NO or saying NOTHING and being okay with it. However long it takes.

    Hugs
    Star
     
  7. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Miss KT will be a senior next year. Right now, my primary goal is for her to finish high school. Knowing her, if she is here, she will spend 90% of her energy being rude and hostile, rather than concentrating on school. If she can learn to be a civilized human being and high school graduate by living with my mom, I'm delighted to have it happen. I'm sure I will miss her as time goes on, but all I feel now is relief.
     
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