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Missing my grandchildren
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<blockquote data-quote="SadSack" data-source="post: 667196" data-attributes="member: 19545"><p>Thanks for your replies. They are so much appreciated. After writing my first post I thought a lot about what is and how little control I have regarding this situation. I remembered going to see a therapist a long time ago because I was beyond knowing how to parent her. She was 15 and had just had an abortion after trying to get pregnant to keep a boyfriend. I felt deeply responsible for this unborn child. Just writing this is painful still.</p><p>I asked the therapist to meet with my daughter for a session then we could get back together and he could help guide me in parenting her. When I returned I remember him saying to me "why do you feel like you are doing something wrong?" I said well I'm here aren't I? He told me I had nothing to work with. He believed she lacked all insight, unable to learn from her mistakes, unable to see how her actions affect others. </p><p>He advised me to remove her from the house and save my other children. I was in shock. I told him I couldn't do it knowing she would no doubt die in a ditch somewhere. He said people like her will ONLY learn when they actually hit rock bottom.</p><p>That was over 15 yrs ago now. I have pretty much removed myself from her and her husband but my heart is still with her children, my grandchildren. My tears have long dried up for her but her children are the hardest. </p><p></p><p>Thanks so much. I do need to read how others are coping and moving on with their lives. I do need to pull it together and love myself more. I have to stop asking myself what I am doing wrong!</p><p></p><p>SS</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SadSack, post: 667196, member: 19545"] Thanks for your replies. They are so much appreciated. After writing my first post I thought a lot about what is and how little control I have regarding this situation. I remembered going to see a therapist a long time ago because I was beyond knowing how to parent her. She was 15 and had just had an abortion after trying to get pregnant to keep a boyfriend. I felt deeply responsible for this unborn child. Just writing this is painful still. I asked the therapist to meet with my daughter for a session then we could get back together and he could help guide me in parenting her. When I returned I remember him saying to me "why do you feel like you are doing something wrong?" I said well I'm here aren't I? He told me I had nothing to work with. He believed she lacked all insight, unable to learn from her mistakes, unable to see how her actions affect others. He advised me to remove her from the house and save my other children. I was in shock. I told him I couldn't do it knowing she would no doubt die in a ditch somewhere. He said people like her will ONLY learn when they actually hit rock bottom. That was over 15 yrs ago now. I have pretty much removed myself from her and her husband but my heart is still with her children, my grandchildren. My tears have long dried up for her but her children are the hardest. Thanks so much. I do need to read how others are coping and moving on with their lives. I do need to pull it together and love myself more. I have to stop asking myself what I am doing wrong! SS [/QUOTE]
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