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Special Ed 101
Mom: Bullies drove boy to kill himself
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<blockquote data-quote="flutterbee" data-source="post: 122641"><p>Several years ago in our community, a 15 year old boy who was a victim of incessant bullying threw himself in front of a train. Since then (and so sad that it had to take something so tragic) our SD has taken a tough stance on bullying. They get federal grants geared for bullying 'training', anti-bullying campaigns, what have you. They are really, really good about it in the middle school and junior high. </p><p></p><p>I can't speak for all 5 of our elementary schools, but the one difficult child attended lacked a lot. They had the posters and gave it cursory acknowledgment, but that's it. When difficult child was in the 3rd grade (our absolute nightmare year at that school), she came home from school complaining of a boy that hit her repeatedly on the arm and her arm was red. So, I called her teachers. Their response was to call both difficult child and this boy up and talk to them together. The boy said it was an accident, although how you 'accidentally' hit someone repeatedly is beyond me' and difficult child said ok. That was it.</p><p></p><p>So, difficult child enters middle school where they are really good about handling bullying issues and difficult child, who is an easy target like a lot of our kiddos, complained daily of bullying, but refused to name anyone for fear of being ostracized or forced to face her tormentor in the manner she had before. The 2 names I was aware of were handled and the kids did talk to difficult child AFTER it was addressed and apologized and the bullying from them stopped. But, she would never name anyone.</p><p></p><p>It's so important that education of this begins in the younger years so that the victims of bullying aren't afraid to speak up. </p><p></p><p>As a note, I was never seeking punishment for her tormentors. I realize they are kids that have their own issues, insecurities, what have you and just needed to be guided. I was angry at the way her 3rd grade teachers handled the situation. You take a kid with extreme anxiety and put her in an environment where she doesn't feel safe and it's not going to be good.</p><p></p><p>It's different, too, when you have a difficult child being bullied compared to a easy child. easy child was being bullied on the bus big time when he was in the 7th grade. He did not want me to interfere and I didn't, though I struggled with that for a long time. Many, many days he would come home from school and head straight to the basement and the punching bag. In the end, he made friends out of his bullies.</p><p></p><p>People really tend to downplay bullying as kids being kids, but when you're a kid school is your world. How you fit in is everything. You have to go, no choice. It's not like an adult who can change jobs. They have almost no control over the situation.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="flutterbee, post: 122641"] Several years ago in our community, a 15 year old boy who was a victim of incessant bullying threw himself in front of a train. Since then (and so sad that it had to take something so tragic) our SD has taken a tough stance on bullying. They get federal grants geared for bullying 'training', anti-bullying campaigns, what have you. They are really, really good about it in the middle school and junior high. I can't speak for all 5 of our elementary schools, but the one difficult child attended lacked a lot. They had the posters and gave it cursory acknowledgment, but that's it. When difficult child was in the 3rd grade (our absolute nightmare year at that school), she came home from school complaining of a boy that hit her repeatedly on the arm and her arm was red. So, I called her teachers. Their response was to call both difficult child and this boy up and talk to them together. The boy said it was an accident, although how you 'accidentally' hit someone repeatedly is beyond me' and difficult child said ok. That was it. So, difficult child enters middle school where they are really good about handling bullying issues and difficult child, who is an easy target like a lot of our kiddos, complained daily of bullying, but refused to name anyone for fear of being ostracized or forced to face her tormentor in the manner she had before. The 2 names I was aware of were handled and the kids did talk to difficult child AFTER it was addressed and apologized and the bullying from them stopped. But, she would never name anyone. It's so important that education of this begins in the younger years so that the victims of bullying aren't afraid to speak up. As a note, I was never seeking punishment for her tormentors. I realize they are kids that have their own issues, insecurities, what have you and just needed to be guided. I was angry at the way her 3rd grade teachers handled the situation. You take a kid with extreme anxiety and put her in an environment where she doesn't feel safe and it's not going to be good. It's different, too, when you have a difficult child being bullied compared to a easy child. easy child was being bullied on the bus big time when he was in the 7th grade. He did not want me to interfere and I didn't, though I struggled with that for a long time. Many, many days he would come home from school and head straight to the basement and the punching bag. In the end, he made friends out of his bullies. People really tend to downplay bullying as kids being kids, but when you're a kid school is your world. How you fit in is everything. You have to go, no choice. It's not like an adult who can change jobs. They have almost no control over the situation. [/QUOTE]
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