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Mom is mad so watch out !!
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 440075" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>It's sad, but we found that sometimes people at church can be the most judgmental. </p><p></p><p>Our church is like a family, Perhaps because this is a small village. But I would find that certain individuals would discipline my child when my back was turned. What really cheesed me off over that, was the discipline for their own children was very lax and permissive, but they were certainly going to try to spank my kid.</p><p></p><p>My best friend (no longer goes to church - long story) caught a bloke at church in the act of dragging difficult child 1 across the room "to make him sit down and behave". She intervened, collected difficult child 1 and whisked him away from the guy. difficult child 1 doesn't remember it, thankfully. That bloke has also since left the church - he couldn't control people like he wanted to! He's also mellowed a lot in recent years; nothing like having your two daughters go through teens into young adulthood and begin to fight daddy, to teach daddy he can't have everything his own way!</p><p></p><p>We had another bloke at church get sanctimonious with us because easy child was "living in sin" with SIL1. He asked me how I felt about that, as a Christian, and what I was doing to get them to the altar. I simply said that they were adults and we had done the best we could in raising easy child with Christian values but free will meant letting her make her own choices. We could advise but we should never control. And to force the issue would be to take the onus away from SIL1, who had his own anti-church demons to exorcise, in his own way. I stayed polite, but inside I was seething. Really seething. </p><p></p><p>Family or church members - they'll drive you nuts sometimes, but they can also, in their own way, be a valuable support network. And over time, they DO get the idea... it was the daughter of that last man I mentioned who was struggling with a computer-based uni assignment and yelled for help via the church network (and FaceBook). I suggested she use difficult child 3 which she did. He fixed the problem in five minutes. She now tells everyone his new name is Boy Genius. Or Jimmy Neutron. by the way, since this girl reached uni age, her dad has stopped being sanctimonious!</p><p></p><p>I hope the change in medications can help your boys. We've had to do our medication washes at home. We're almost through this last one, difficult child 3 is doing a lot better. But he has started chewing a rubber teething ring a lot more, he said it helps him cope. He keeps it in his pocket, I see it in his mouth sometimes when he is working on schoolwork. Still, better the teething ring, than his clothes!</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 440075, member: 1991"] It's sad, but we found that sometimes people at church can be the most judgmental. Our church is like a family, Perhaps because this is a small village. But I would find that certain individuals would discipline my child when my back was turned. What really cheesed me off over that, was the discipline for their own children was very lax and permissive, but they were certainly going to try to spank my kid. My best friend (no longer goes to church - long story) caught a bloke at church in the act of dragging difficult child 1 across the room "to make him sit down and behave". She intervened, collected difficult child 1 and whisked him away from the guy. difficult child 1 doesn't remember it, thankfully. That bloke has also since left the church - he couldn't control people like he wanted to! He's also mellowed a lot in recent years; nothing like having your two daughters go through teens into young adulthood and begin to fight daddy, to teach daddy he can't have everything his own way! We had another bloke at church get sanctimonious with us because easy child was "living in sin" with SIL1. He asked me how I felt about that, as a Christian, and what I was doing to get them to the altar. I simply said that they were adults and we had done the best we could in raising easy child with Christian values but free will meant letting her make her own choices. We could advise but we should never control. And to force the issue would be to take the onus away from SIL1, who had his own anti-church demons to exorcise, in his own way. I stayed polite, but inside I was seething. Really seething. Family or church members - they'll drive you nuts sometimes, but they can also, in their own way, be a valuable support network. And over time, they DO get the idea... it was the daughter of that last man I mentioned who was struggling with a computer-based uni assignment and yelled for help via the church network (and FaceBook). I suggested she use difficult child 3 which she did. He fixed the problem in five minutes. She now tells everyone his new name is Boy Genius. Or Jimmy Neutron. by the way, since this girl reached uni age, her dad has stopped being sanctimonious! I hope the change in medications can help your boys. We've had to do our medication washes at home. We're almost through this last one, difficult child 3 is doing a lot better. But he has started chewing a rubber teething ring a lot more, he said it helps him cope. He keeps it in his pocket, I see it in his mouth sometimes when he is working on schoolwork. Still, better the teething ring, than his clothes! Marg [/QUOTE]
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