hi yup i know i shouldnt' even give this issue a glance with what i have going on yet it's biting away at me a bit. ok, some back up info. last xmas we did husband's family and mine for the first time.. it didnt' go well. they dont' really get along. husband's family well his dad is nasty guy. it was uncomfortable overwhelming etc. yet we got thru it and husband and i said we wont' be diong that again. so this yr the plan is i do xmas eve with-my family and husband has to work than he'll head to his. and kids and i will meet him there later for an hr only. xmas day my parents are heading out to us. quiet xmas we'll have his kids also. their mom has them for xmas eve. sorry long if your still reading...... so, i had to go to husband's sisters baby shower the other day. she cornered me on xmas and well let's just say i said we're doing something quiet xmas day at our house just my parents. she said oh maybe ill just pass by and i said well we'll see you xmas eve. she said yea but not all the kids. ill just pass by. UGH! i told husband. him and i said ok what if he calls them and says ok just dessert we dont' want a huge crowd for dinner. so that worked for us and i figured my family could handle coffee and dessert with them for crying out loud it's xmas. isn't that what its' about being tortured by family somewhat? so i emailed my mom and said ok their coming by for dessert. she flipped. last year suxd i'm not happy. i wont' be coming than if their there. I dont' like his family it was so bad last year. and she's right it was. than she rights i cant' tel you not to have his family there that would be nutty of me yet we wont be coming. WTF so now husband and i have to be in an uncomfortable position to tell his pregnant sister with whom either of us ever spend time with but still hey you cant' come xmas day. my mom's controlling. i get last year was bad and it was. his dad made nasty remarks it was uncomfortable he's an ass plain and simple. yet it's always conditions with her i cant' come if it snows we dont' drive in snow, we cant' come if you have your dog there so we gotta put him somewhere, and now this. thoughts?? i'm mixed up about it. i think that she is wrong these are her grandchildren and it's ridiculous to not be able to sit for an hr with his family just to do dessert. and suck it up. difficult child and easy child now especially will be heartbroken if they dont' come. yet we'll be faced with ugliness of having to tell his family this and it'll only add more fuel to the already burning fire of them not liking me.