mom messing with xmas

DammitJanet

Well-Known Member
I have never been paid a red cent for keeping my grandkids. Nor would I take one. I have bought at least half of Keyana's clothes, and most of her shoes and coats her whole life and I dont mind a bit. If my daughter in law would accept hand me downs, Hailie would be dressed to the nines because I always got Keyana really nice stuff and she only wore it a few times especially as a baby but daughter in law refused to accept them so...her loss.

I dont bake cookies because I am a disaster in the kitchen but we do other things. I have a 4 year old who thinks her Grandma hung the moon. I think she is the light of my life. I would walk on fire to make her happy. If you had told me that I was going to be at your house to be with my grandchildren and your husbands family was coming over, I wouldnt care if they were Satan himself, I would be so happy to be with my grandchildren that I wouldnt give a rats patootie who was coming over.
 

nvts

Active Member
Ok Jena...first things first...I'm apologizing and hope you still love me after I say what I've got to say.

Tough toenails Mom!

That's pretty much it. Your mom is not just controling, she's a narcissistic witch with the manipulation that's going on here.

Hey, if you don't show up, ya don't show up. I'll still have my grinning face and my toes a tappin'! My children are eventually going to see that you're mean spirited and cruel, so we may as well let them see who you really are before they have you boycott their graduations, weddings, sweet 16's, baby-showers, and gosh knows what else.

I'm sorry, but I don't handle people messing with kids minds that are already dealing with all of the issues at hand. Personally? I think you need to stand up to her and tell her that it's her loss not you or your beautiful families.

Again, I hope I don't offend, but she's really ticking me off!!!

Beth

PS: I'd tell husband's dad that if he can't treat you with respect in YOUR own home, there's the door and don't let it hit you in the hind quarters on your way out.

Again, Sorry!
me
 

DammitJanet

Well-Known Member
LOL...Im sorry Jena. My mom played favorites with my kids and it still gets to me to this day. She thought the sun rose and set on my oldest and for some reason seemed to forget his father was a complete turd who was the definition of a dead beat father and decided to idolize him and tried to make Billy idolize the man. She hell hated Tony and my other two boys but she really, really hated Jamie the most and would show it by cussing him out, call him a little b****rd. She was a tad bit nicer to Cory. Tony did so many things for her too. He built porches for her, he built a tool shed for her, he built and poured a cement walkway for her. What did she do? She called CPS on him twice and accused him of molesting Jamie! How she would know is anyones guess considering she never watched my kids!

She was a real piece of work but we still did everything we could to be good to her and in the end, we kept her in our home when she became senile with alzheimers until she simply got too much for a family to care for. After all, I was her only child even if she didnt remember me and obviously never loved me.
 

Jena

New Member
Beth its all good and yup still love ya, Janet no apologies needed. I feel the same way LOL. I've been going thru this for years with-my mom you would think id' of gotten it by now. She as most has her pluses about who she is, yet there are also alot of negatives. Yet she's my Mom so i hold my tongue as best I can. I have no clue why i'm so big on respect with-her. I saw her and my sweet grandmother who i adored and was very close to have a highly toxic relationship till my grandmother passed. I did not want to repeat that cycle. yet it seems as though i can't change her it's me who has to find a way of coping with who she is.

as far as the rest goes i told easy child well actually easy child guessed it she is really funny sometimes. last night i said to her i'm not sure if grandma's coming for xmas, so right away she said let me guess why because husband's family "might" pass by and I simply laughed. I forget she's almost 18 now and has seen the dynamic for years with her grandma. I said you got it kiddo. she said wow grandma's such a witch. i said yes she def can be. yet we will be there xmas eve for a bit i want to go to see my brother's baby haven't seen her in mos. and kids want to see her. I said we'll smile and give gifts and be the bigger person because in life sometimes that's the better way to go. she said screw that i'd tell grandma she's a downright pyscho LOL.

isn't it funny when our kids start to form into their own people with their own opinions?? soo not brought on by me. that's always been my thing dont' judge ex h let them see for themselves so nevera bad word to i utter, same with-grandma. it's up to them to form their own judgements about ppl not follow my lead based on my own emotions.

dont' ever worry about offending me, I know i can be rough at times i think tha'Tourette's Syndrome just come from fighting all my life for things I need or for difficult child. which i know we all are accustomed to. Yet when a spade's a spade please oh please it's all GOOD!!!
 

Jena

New Member
Janet i just caught what you wrote at the end, I dont' think it's the "lack" of love for us, I think it's just their issues that superceed common logic and their true emotions when it comes to toxic ppl like this. What they've been thru etc etc blah blah....... i think in their own distorted way they do love us or care it's just their too messed up to know how to show it. anyway that's my thought.

my mom until just recently never said the words i love you except when i was very small and as of late with all the difficult child madness i've been getting that via emails. She's growing old was softening a tiny bit and realizing wow i'm messed up and began to show her true emotions. My Mom could spend years literally years in therapy. We argue about it at times i told her i'd rather spend a lifetime in therapy than a lifetime messed up. She said not everyone can do what you did or will do. I said what? She said well you looked at junk for what it was not what you wanted it to be and you dealt with the emotions that followed and cleaned it out. I said yup because i was making too many mistakes in my own life to keep on that way. If my Mom ever went into therapy her 4 glasses of wine a night would increase to a bottle a night. she has alot of regrets and alot of guilt.

yet you would think that would make her be nicer right? LOL. umm NO!!
 

DammitJanet

Well-Known Member
We believe my mom was schizo affective. Then the alzheimers came on. I dont ever remember her telling me she loved me. I was just a pawn or show piece for her. My story rivals Mommy Dearest. Its not that my mom just did some manipulative junk to me, she outright abused me in most ways you can list.

I actually knew my mom was getting senile when she told me that she thought I was nice. LOL. How weird was that?
 

Jena

New Member
lol, that's funny in a way i totally get!!!

yea my father before he passed about a year prior suddenly was calling me saying how we should get together etc. he was super abusive i owe all my bad relationships to him, thanks Dad!! yet even him sick puppy that he was in his own distorted and sick abusive way cared. these ppl it's almost like were never shown the "right" way to love a person a child so are or were incapable of it due to their own ****!

that was my motto going into motherhood never do what both my parents did to me. iv'e stayed true to that so far. except at times i find myself being controlling like my mom. than i gotta step back and breath and say ok is it that important that you have to control this situation? answer usually is NO. :)
 
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