Monday and my body hurts me...

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Ropefree, Jan 26, 2009.

  1. Ropefree

    Ropefree Banned

    I am overwhelmed today with all the things that need my time and attention that are not helping me, personally, to get anywhere that adds comfort or interest to my life.
    The difficult child stuff, the intensive home therapy, and now the meetings to "help the school learn what to do" and the fact my car needs work and registration and
    the yard needs work and I have this huge pile of green waste that has to be moved....and meanwhile I need chiropractic and time to strengthen after so that I am not in this constant pain syndrome. Limitations are one issue and the fact that in this equation I am completely overlooked.
    My family and my sons father have reentered my life and I regret it. They both (as ever) want me to travel to them and visit with my son and as much as my son thinks that would be great to do the fact is I have to be on hand as the adult as they will not care for him in a safe manner. They do not care for me in a safe manner. And causing myself any more stressors to accomidate them is not working for me.
    Which means that I also have their 'wishes' as these expectations that I simply am not appropriate to call upon to match.
    I need to go to a dentist. This will not occur anytime soon either. I need glasses and these will not be possible anytime soon either.
    I have asked for help on practical matters and no one is there for me. NO one.
    This morning I recieve a phone call and what is this? Will I help by driving and spend my time today matching others needs? I said no.
    Like I said I am overwhelmed right now. The living with pain and limitation and the poverty and the fact that no one gives a whoot and all the things that are needed fall on my shoulders is old and stale and I am a person with the right to life too. Right to life liberty, pursute of happiness and the system that lets women slip through the cracks and fails to link to services after ruining her physically to gain profits for corporations is just same old same old and it stinks.
    I have had it with the paultry attention where my problems are just not understood. That is untrue. Nothing nothing I am facing is unique to the history that preceeds my life now. In fact it is exactly this outcome that the
    large corporations have earned bank on and do to this second. The resources that are squired away so that a tiny tiny part of the population has billions hoarded are those who would wipe their shoes on the misery of the "little people" that society minimizes and makes into jinggles to mentally, physically and socially create a seperation, distance and to look to as other.
    Because the econmy is tanking so hard...and why? because the last thirty plus years corporations failed to change with new information chosing instead to pursue megaprofits for themselves. They let people spend the future earnings in credit, and created a system for generating wealth for themselves off the interest pay of money that exists only in contracts. And when some person in poverty is linked to such with a cell phone or any other corporation (like a lawyer, or a practioner) when that "thing" or "service" does not work it is the legal connection to the money that the contract has aquired that in reality does not exist that is the priority. It is pure insanity.
    The property damage and physical injuries I have sustained personally that corporations recieved pay to "cover" even the laws that are in place in the state itsself do not "make whole" the vehicle or the body that belong to me.
    Instead the vulltures are lined up to gleen their part of the finacial pie while the people themsselves are stepping on or around the damage and cost to the indivigule (or me, or you). It is a sickness of greed.
    Today I want to sit here and be at ease to communicate typing. tough luck
    for me. I want to do my household chores and I am well aware that these simple tasks will cause me more pain.
    I am so frustrated and hurting and alone with these things and what is the solution?
    To live with it. To suffer it. To know that I pick my battles and suffer the tright leveled at me by others when again I do attempt to generate the care for my son at school, and to do it anyway and be pleasant and to be forgiving in my heart when the reactive emtions and the evasions just keep on coming from the teachers and the conselors and the principle and the 504 specialist. They ask me what to do for the adhd learner and they fail again to inquire and to act with the education and sences they do have and fall back on the excuses that keep them cozy.
    Bh. i am so sour today.
  2. bran155

    bran155 Guest

    Ropefree, I don't really know what to say except, I am so sorry you are having such a rough time. If you are not up to visiting your son's father and family, I say, don't. You have no obligation to do what he or his family wants. You need to take care of yourself.

    You are in my thoughts. Sending many prayers and (((HUGS))) your way.
  3. BestICan

    BestICan This community rocks.

    Hi Rope,

    I'm sorry you're feeling so down, physically and mentally!

    You are doing a LOT on your own, and it sounds like you've had very few people to rely on. I just want to send support. I hear you: I also need a trip to the dentist/optometrist, but as always, mom comes last.

    Whenever I feel this overwhelmed I just try to take things in baby steps. One thing at a time. Make a list and cross off the easy things first. Then break the big steps into smaller steps, just so you'll have a sense of accomplishment.

    I'm sorry you're not getting the help and attention you need. I wonder if there are support groups at the local hospital for your particular pain issue? That might be a great place to get some validation and find some friends who "get it."

    Hoping you have a better rest of your day,

  4. Ropefree

    Ropefree Banned

    Bran155: thank you. I am aware that ultimately I will be the one saying nO, again, and then I will be showered with the dissapointment by my son and other family members. And then the unexceptable alternatives will, agian, be offered to meet their wishes when in reality the father does not have any visit plans himself and never has. Then I will also recieve the negative attention that centers on how I should percieve the matter (historically and relative to reality) ThEIR way. Oh yes I am well acquainted and will be the identified target for the whole matter..AGAIN.

    I apreciate the support. I do need the affirmation.

    Best I Can: that is a good idea. And I do not need to be in a group talking with people who have pain as well. I need treatment that works for me and I have no means of obtaining that care. what I am offered is perscription medications that are not treating the condition they act to buffy the pain of the untreated condition. And pt that exaserbates the problem unless treated with chiropractic first.

    the only ant steps that are occuring is the tic toc of time and it is my life and my time and I am vetching over the quality of life issue that taking ant type steps to do the daily things that are so time consumming in the manner that I do them and are never to completion.
    for example; when I did get a little help toward making the changes when my son was out of control it left a pile of things on the floor of my new now room. Picking each of those items off the floor and reorganing them now that they are tossed like a salade Is A) a painfull strenous set of activities for me. B) requires that I have all these things spread out to get them in order. C) means that I will be engaged to do this task for days on end as I can not merely set out to do so with anything but 'ant steps'
    What none of these things are doing FOR me is moving ME forward healthfully in any meaningful manner. this illustrates how when someone in our society needs specific things for "ease" our orientation is locked into the conduct of the normal life tasks that healthy people take for granted in terms of wether they "like" one standard of another and wether they "like" doing those simple time and activity hendged things.
    What is "normal' for me to hear is that in some manner it is fine and dandy for me to do these types of things in a painful manner and to have that requilre huge swathes of my time and what is of no consequence whatsoever is that I am not
    having access to treatments I do benefit from and the things I do need to get my physical supportive activity to be doing appropriate motions for my health needs.

    I can not afford the gas costs to go to some group meeting to jaw over our neglected conditions and the **** that is charged for by medicaid in lue of what does help. or to mount the "fight" that would pursued the chiropractic community to stop being 'businesses' and do the work of pushing the care into the realm that medicaid would pay a lowerfee for if they ever will.

    i am way way past the point of having a hug or hand hold matter to me. Decades
    in fact. I went to work and did my job and never hurt anybody. And what I am constantly beseiged with are the lawyers jingles that minimize the suffering of those who are disabled from parcipation in their own lives and livelyhoods. And when the stupid stupid indifferance to children in schools is continually added to that first hand knowledge and it also requires me to spoon feed educators who spend their work life neglecting my kid anyway my blood is boiling and all I can do is vent.
  5. Nancy423

    Nancy423 do I have to be the mom?

    when it rains it pours. Sorry you're feeling so overwhelmed and frustrated - pain and getting blamed for not being able to make "family visits". (((HUGS)))