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Monday blues
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 319639" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Grab a copy from the library while you wait, or read back through archived threads here, especially in Early Childhood, for some preview ideas.</p><p></p><p>I just posted at length on gcvmom's thread about her husband taking the difficult children to the movies and now whining about how rough a time he had - he's now trying to either assign blame or duck out of hwat he perceives is blame thrown his way.</p><p></p><p>When we use blame, we teach blame. And often a situation isn't about blame, it's about trying to learn from an experience so we can do better next time. We're never gonig to be perfect, not easily. But we need to see when we do better, and to value the positive changes we've put in place.</p><p></p><p>It's a less stressful way of looking at things and also makes it easeir to keep trying.</p><p></p><p>We need to really help our kids see beyond blame. It takes constsnt reinforcement as well as personal vigilance (I'm horrified at how much I use blame even though I try not to).</p><p></p><p>It could be a starting point for you.</p><p></p><p>And you are right in what you said to him - negative words and deeds are much harder to un-say and un-do, than to do in the first place. You can't un-ring the bell. But we do need to find ways to heal and move on, after a bad incident. If we focus on "what can I learn from this?" then sometimes it helps us do better next time.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 319639, member: 1991"] Grab a copy from the library while you wait, or read back through archived threads here, especially in Early Childhood, for some preview ideas. I just posted at length on gcvmom's thread about her husband taking the difficult children to the movies and now whining about how rough a time he had - he's now trying to either assign blame or duck out of hwat he perceives is blame thrown his way. When we use blame, we teach blame. And often a situation isn't about blame, it's about trying to learn from an experience so we can do better next time. We're never gonig to be perfect, not easily. But we need to see when we do better, and to value the positive changes we've put in place. It's a less stressful way of looking at things and also makes it easeir to keep trying. We need to really help our kids see beyond blame. It takes constsnt reinforcement as well as personal vigilance (I'm horrified at how much I use blame even though I try not to). It could be a starting point for you. And you are right in what you said to him - negative words and deeds are much harder to un-say and un-do, than to do in the first place. You can't un-ring the bell. But we do need to find ways to heal and move on, after a bad incident. If we focus on "what can I learn from this?" then sometimes it helps us do better next time. Marg [/QUOTE]
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