Mood changes driving me crazy!

[Wiped Out]

difficult child's moods are so all over the place right now.

One example: Yesterday I took him grocery shopping (husband desparately deserved and needed a break) and he was really good-some grumbling but very helpful and not angry. Also took him to get a key for the house-still in a good mood. We got home and he grumbled about me wanting him to fold and recycle the grocery bags-I about freaked out when I came down and he had done it!

He remained in a good mood. Earlier he had told me he didn't like his new shoes he picked out. I told him no problem since he had just worn them in the house we could take them back. He didn't really respond that I remember. When it was time for him to go take his shower and he was taking his shoes off, I asked what he had decided about his shoes. He immediately yelled at me not to talk to him, that he had told me (I said well maybe I forgot what did you decide and again he yelled). Then I said what a good day we had together and lets keep it that way. He screamed at me that he was never going to have fun with me again and that he was going to kill me in the future and then I would be dead.

One minute he is as angry as can be, the next second (literally) he is being goofy and asking for me to play with him or help him with something.

He is so socially inappropriate. This is gross but he wiped his snot on husband's shirt yesterday and thought it was funny. He truly didn't seem to get why husband was so upset because you really couldn't see it. There was absolutely no understanding when husband tried to explain to him. There is no reasoning with him about anything because he know everything

Today he got kicked out of the playroom at the healthclub (which meant no workout for me) because he wouldn't stop flipping kids off. difficult child's response was that someone wouldn't give him the ball so that is why he kept doing it.

He also is having a really hard time with his short term memory. He does have problems with his short term memory but I wish I could remember what it was the other day but he couldn't remember the order of something that happened just 5 minutes before.

The other day he was happily remincisng about when he was younger and used to hide his feces and play with it. Where did that come from? He did used to do that but why did he bring it up out of the blue?

I keep just thinking at least he isn't being violent (though he is threatening a lot). Sometimes I think maybe I shouldn't let these other things bother me but honestly husband and I are both going nuts!

Sorry this is long and I feel like I'm rambling but I needed to get this out. Thanks for listening.

 

[gcvmom]

Ummmm, some of that would really bother me too. This seems like his thought process is a little screwy and perhaps disordered? Like random stuff just pops in his head and out it comes. Have you updated the psychiatrist lately?

 

[4timmy]

Oh man, am I a sympathetic ear to this!! Ramble as much as you like. That's what this is for right?

My difficult child picks his nose and eats it!!!!! In 4th grade, he used to pick his nose until it would bleed. He would come home with blood under his fingernails. The teachers would go absolutely ballistic on this habit. They made me replace books that he had gotten blood all over....

His first day back to school was today and it seems to have gone over pretty smoothly--his mood is good today. I know what you mean about the threats though. I've had a knife pulled on me several times and a head butting that bloodied my nose (this hurt my heart more than it did my nose). No more than 2 minutes later he's crying and sorry that he hit me. He can turn it on and off like a lamp!

When difficult child was 3, we had to duct tape his diaper on or he would fling poo all over his room and play with it. He wasn't diagnosed yet back then, so I used to joke that I was a great turd wrangler.... hee

Anyways, we had a good day so here's hug from us and hopes that tomorrow will be better for you and your husband. Hang in there... never a dull moment.

 

[klmno]

I'm sorry Sharon- as you know, mine is cycling right now too so I feel your pain. You should have heard me trying to explain all the goings-on in our house the past 3 weeks with this therapist I started with- I've only seen her twice and I was relaying (ok- venting) about difficult child and all that's happened lately and trying to get help and then trying to also tell her "but he isn't always this way" which is true.....

Back to you and yours, you are doing a great job, although I'm sure it's wearing on your nerves a lot. I don't know of anything to suggest that you aren't already doing. medication changes might be in order, but you might have reached the point I'm at- do I want to risk making it worse?

Do you still have the "stop the world" and repsite in place in case he gets worse? Does he exhibit a pattern where you can foresee when this will calm back down or when it will just keep going?

Well, you know I hear that duct tape works wonders when nothing else will....(JK)

Oh- I do think he should wash husband's shirt.

 

[Jena]

hey i'm sorry you have been having such a hard time. have you spoken to the psychdoc lately? It is odd like random things popping up into his head.

I hope tonight it's calmer and better.

(((hugs)))

 

[Wiped Out]

Gvcmom-His thought process to some extent is always a bit strange but it does seem to be getting worse lately. We have a psychiatrist appointment. in a few weeks.

4Timmy-Thanks-you're right-never a dull moment-too funny about the duct tape on the diaper.

Klmno-I don't know about a medication change. I almost feel like to take care of some of this (the disorganized thinking) maybe some medications need to be lowered, I'm not sure it would help and then I worry about the violence starting. We do still have stop the world in place and if needed crisis respite so that's good. Wish I had thought of him washing husband's shirt-that would have been good.

Jennifer-Thanks-haven't spoken to the psychiatrist in about three weeks-he does have monthly appts. so I will bring this up at the next one.

At least he fell asleep relatively quickly last night.

 

[trinityroyal]

Sharon, I'm sorry that difficult child's moods are cycling.

One thing to consider...you got used to a level of violent behaviour with difficult child that was absolutely unacceptable, and everything else sort of fell off the radar. Now that difficult child is not being violent, you're wondering if these behaviours are "no big deal".

Well, they ARE. That's got to be very difficult to deal with.

I agree with Klmno about having "stop the world" and respite in place.

If difficult child's behaviour has changed enough that he's no longer violent, then you need to reset your standard as to what is acceptable vs unacceptable.

Sending many hugs,
Trinity

 

[LittleDudesMom]

Sharon,

Trinity and Klmno are right on in my book. It really worked with the stop the world respite with difficult child this past summer. His level of violence and frequency have really almost fallen off the radar.

I think it is now time to begin working on some of the other issues. You know, some of the things are going to be quirks in his personality that will follow him for life and others are going to be things that will prevent him from socializing, holding a job, etc.

Perhaps keeping a little list of all these mood issues, inappropriate behavior, and memory issues is a good thing. Then, you can sit down with husband and psychiatrist and decide which of these issues are the next priority. Not stop the world respite necessarily, but simply stop the world!

Hugs to you,
Sharon

 

[Wiped Out]

Trinity and Sharon-I agree and he has been getting consequences but I think maybe not good enough ones. Thursday we are meeting with one of the in-home ladies and the goal is to be addressing these behaviors. I know we can only have crisis respite for the violence (which is what we need it for) and I even that is being phased out to an extent (right now if he were to continue violence after STW started then he is to get a second day of STW, if that doesn't help we can then still call for the respite). By April even that won't be available as the in home is hoping to be able to pull out.

I do think a version of STW though is a good idea for some of these other behaviors. Thanks!