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Morbid difficult child parent humor
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<blockquote data-quote="hexemaus2" data-source="post: 390987" data-attributes="member: 4560"><p>Oh, I love that Linda!</p><p> </p><p>There have been so many morbidly funny comments like that made in this house. I'm sure some therapist or psychiatrist would say we're all bent and our morbid sense of humor is the reason for serious psychological damage. lol. But you gotta laugh sometimes...or go nuts.</p><p> </p><p>Our family motto is "We'll do really well at The Home."</p><p> </p><p>difficult child 2 says horrible things in the midst of his tyraids. None of them are literal, difficult child 2 just can't find any other words to express the severity of his emotions, so he goes with whatever the most outrageous thing he can think of is that comes even remotely close. </p><p> </p><p>"I'm going to kill you" is difficult child 2 for I'm so mad at you I can't stand it.</p><p> </p><p>"I wish you would just die" is difficult child 2 for I'm losing the argument and it's pissing me off really bad.</p><p> </p><p>It's how we respond to those comments that makes for comedy in this house. For example, in the midst of a tyraid he'll scream "I hate you people so much I just want to kill myself"</p><p> </p><p>To which difficult child 3 will respond something like "Great! How can I help?" with the most serious look, like he's asking difficult child 2 if he needs help with his homework. He'll then ask me something like "Mom, is assisted suicide the same as murder?" like he's asking me if 4 quarts are the same as a gallon. </p><p> </p><p>He'll then go on to explain how he would defend himself in a murder trial, or discuss various ways he could off difficult child 2 and make it look like a suicide. That sounds horrible, but he does it with such flair and melodramatic presentations. It's quite comical to watch. In his best Perry Mason voice, he'll start off with "Ladies and gentlemen of the jury. Yes, I threw my brother down a laundry shoot into a pack of wild raging dogs infected with flesh-eating disease to further hide the remains, but it was self defense and besides, he asked for my help in stopping his tyraids. I simply opted for the quickest solution. After all, that's what brothers are for."</p><p> </p><p>Typing that out, it must sound terrible to someone else, but to see it, you'd know that it's all comedy and his method of distracting his brother by turning his own words against him.</p><p> </p><p>I will say this, not all the comments have been intended to be comical when they came out. They just kind of turned out that way.</p><p> </p><p>difficult child 2: "difficult child 3, I'm going to snap your neck if you don't give me xyz, right now!"</p><p>difficult child 3: "No you're not. You know why? My neck doesn't have fingers so it CAN'T snap. Geez, if you're going to make outrageous statements, at least make sure they're plausible."</p><p>difficult child 2: "You make me wish I'd never been born into this family."</p><p>difficult child 3: "Well at least we agree on something!"</p><p>difficult child 2: "I'm going to make you wish YOU'D never been born into this family."</p><p>difficult child 3: "You accomplished that before I was out of diapers. Geez, you must hold the autism spectrum record for stuck with that one."</p><p> </p><p>I swear, it's like the morbid, goth version of Laurel and Hardy living with these two. lol. It's actually rather entertaining sometimes, with difficult child 2 all hot-under-the-collar and difficult child 3 so calm and logical. Like watching Elmer Fudd and Bugs Bunny. What amazes me is how often difficult child 3 comes back with what should be the most hurtful, psyche-damaging comments but he does it in such a way that cracks difficult child 3 up and stops the tyraid.</p><p> </p><p>Geez. My family is so twisted. lol.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="hexemaus2, post: 390987, member: 4560"] Oh, I love that Linda! There have been so many morbidly funny comments like that made in this house. I'm sure some therapist or psychiatrist would say we're all bent and our morbid sense of humor is the reason for serious psychological damage. lol. But you gotta laugh sometimes...or go nuts. Our family motto is "We'll do really well at The Home." difficult child 2 says horrible things in the midst of his tyraids. None of them are literal, difficult child 2 just can't find any other words to express the severity of his emotions, so he goes with whatever the most outrageous thing he can think of is that comes even remotely close. "I'm going to kill you" is difficult child 2 for I'm so mad at you I can't stand it. "I wish you would just die" is difficult child 2 for I'm losing the argument and it's pissing me off really bad. It's how we respond to those comments that makes for comedy in this house. For example, in the midst of a tyraid he'll scream "I hate you people so much I just want to kill myself" To which difficult child 3 will respond something like "Great! How can I help?" with the most serious look, like he's asking difficult child 2 if he needs help with his homework. He'll then ask me something like "Mom, is assisted suicide the same as murder?" like he's asking me if 4 quarts are the same as a gallon. He'll then go on to explain how he would defend himself in a murder trial, or discuss various ways he could off difficult child 2 and make it look like a suicide. That sounds horrible, but he does it with such flair and melodramatic presentations. It's quite comical to watch. In his best Perry Mason voice, he'll start off with "Ladies and gentlemen of the jury. Yes, I threw my brother down a laundry shoot into a pack of wild raging dogs infected with flesh-eating disease to further hide the remains, but it was self defense and besides, he asked for my help in stopping his tyraids. I simply opted for the quickest solution. After all, that's what brothers are for." Typing that out, it must sound terrible to someone else, but to see it, you'd know that it's all comedy and his method of distracting his brother by turning his own words against him. I will say this, not all the comments have been intended to be comical when they came out. They just kind of turned out that way. difficult child 2: "difficult child 3, I'm going to snap your neck if you don't give me xyz, right now!" difficult child 3: "No you're not. You know why? My neck doesn't have fingers so it CAN'T snap. Geez, if you're going to make outrageous statements, at least make sure they're plausible." difficult child 2: "You make me wish I'd never been born into this family." difficult child 3: "Well at least we agree on something!" difficult child 2: "I'm going to make you wish YOU'D never been born into this family." difficult child 3: "You accomplished that before I was out of diapers. Geez, you must hold the autism spectrum record for stuck with that one." I swear, it's like the morbid, goth version of Laurel and Hardy living with these two. lol. It's actually rather entertaining sometimes, with difficult child 2 all hot-under-the-collar and difficult child 3 so calm and logical. Like watching Elmer Fudd and Bugs Bunny. What amazes me is how often difficult child 3 comes back with what should be the most hurtful, psyche-damaging comments but he does it in such a way that cracks difficult child 3 up and stops the tyraid. Geez. My family is so twisted. lol. [/QUOTE]
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