More 36 drama...I'm so over his choices

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by MidwestMom, Aug 5, 2014.

  1. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    I won't whine too long. I am choosing not to get too involved in this chapter of 36's life. I'm so glad I learned to detach before this because he is already begging my ex for money to pay off his crazed new girlfriend.

    So 36 met a pretty young woman online who was still married, but separated and she has A LOT of money so before I knew what happened, she had moved in with her three year old daughter who is a trainwreck because of the divorce. The short story (sorry if it's not short, but this IS the short version). They immediately buy expensive toys using her money, inclusing a 2014 Corvette (I think this is right. I am not into cars). She buys a new washer/dryer/refrigerator, crapets his house, etc. She buys my grandson $500 worth of toys at a crack and he LOVES her. The problem is she is severely mentally ill an d has a mean streak and is still going through her divorce and is attached to her ex. Recipe for disaster. My son finally told me, "This can't go on. I should have listened to you. Money isn't everything." Blah, blah, blah.

    If he tries to toss her out, he is under eviction laws and she did get rid of her rental home to move in with him. His son is going to be a disaster since his son loves her very much...she is not that nice to difficult child or her own daughter (she has no idea how to handle her), but she is great with my grandson who is a very well behaved and fun six year old. Maybe he won't be after this. Sadly, how much can a little boy take? This young woman has been hospitalized, did not see her daughter for six months at one crack (we don't know why) and is clearly irrational, has night terrors, and will not go for appropriate help and 36 convinced her to go off her Depakote, of which he is sorry for now, but she won't go back on it. (Wow, sometimes your bad choices hit you in the face). Anyhkow, he wants to break up, but she is demanding all sorts of financial compensation. Meanwhile, she is still there and difficult child is a mess and is also a mess thinking about being alone again. Ex, as always, will fund him.

    difficult child knew that she was a hot bed of psychiatric problems, but he liked the money. Honestly, he creates his own drama. The only one I really feel sorry for in this mess is my grandson. I know I have truly detached with love because I can shake my head at this latest without crying about it, wondering where I went wrong, and not thinking about it 24/7. Thanks for reading this. It is mostly a vent because, no matter how many times it happens, I am always shocked at how 36 keeps making monumental horrible decisions that get him into tons of trouble. But his dilemma is no longer capable of ruining my life.
  2. Childofmine

    Childofmine trying to do this thing one day at a time Staff Member

    MWM, I am sorry. I am sorry that 36 continues to do what he does, and that your precious little grandson is in the middle of it. We all know that he can survive it---people survive and thrive despite many challenges---and you know what, it may make him a much stronger person down the line. Who knows? We sure don't.

    You are so very healthy today. Writing it all down helps, doesn't it, like you did above? Reasoning things out.

    You can look at the situation, be sad about it, wish it were different, and then, at the same time, live your own life. It IS possible to do it, and you are living proof of it.

    Isn't it funny (strange funny, not funny funny) how chaos and drama follow difficult children around?

    Where there is a difficult child, there is chaos. Where there is a difficult child, there is drama. Where there is a difficult child, there is a whole bunch of hot mess to be untangled and figured out.

    Where there is a difficult child, there is a deep deep hole, all the way down to China, to be dug out of.

    And it is THEIR job----not OURS----to figure out. They made it, they can unmake it. Yes it's hard. Yes it seems almost impossible to us.

    Like SO says, it takes a long, long time to walk into the forest. It will take a long, long time to walk out.

    And it's the walk itself that will teach them, if they ever are going to learn, how to live life on life's terms.

    If they don't have to walk that long, long walk themselves---if other people give them a ride instead----nothing will change.

    MWM, YOU HAVE A GREAT DAY TODAY! Okay? The sun is shining, the birds are singing, and you have choices. Warm hugs, you Great Warrior Mom, You!
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  3. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Great job of staying detached MWM! We all know the price we all pay to get where you are today. As COM said, where there is a difficult child, there is chaos and drama, it's the nature of the beast. The very best we can do is to remove ourselves from that chaos and drama and walk in another direction. You've done that. I'm happy for you. Yes, enjoy this day!
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  4. dstc_99

    dstc_99 Well-Known Member

    WOW! I think I need a valium after that one. HEHEHE

    Why oh why do they make their lives so very difficult?

    Lets just say a prayer that your easy child Grandbaby can see the crazy and understand what is going on.
  5. nlj

    nlj Well-Known Member

    That's great MWM. Keep it up!
  6. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    Good for you!!!!!
  7. 1905

    1905 Well-Known Member

    Tell 36 to hurry and get the eviction process going. He can go tomorrow to the courthouse. This has to be done. He'll feel better once he gets the ball rolling. She is a freak and a hot mess, this will be bad for your grandson. It won't take long and he will feel better. Tell him not to tell her he did it. She'll find out on her own. He has to still be nice or it will get really ugly. (Crazy people are too crazy!) He can make up a story, even saying this is my mother's home and we both must leave, he's smart, he can invent something so she doesn't go bat@@@@ crazy on him.
  8. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    LOL, now he's sorry she's going. He loves her. He wants her to stay. He is a wreck. He only told her to leave because his anxiety disorder kicked up and he says things he doesn't mean when he is under stress (this is actually true, but he needs to get it under control and he claims he can't afford therapy and that there is no free clinic in his area). He has told her to go so many times. She won't stay. Honestly...ya can't make this stuff up. I told him I have to go. I sense a long time where he grieves this women he almost forced to leave him...and him coming to me for consolation. Um, not.
  9. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    You could write a soap opera.........As the Stomach Turns..........
  10. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    LOL! Boy, does it ever!!!!
  11. dstc_99

    dstc_99 Well-Known Member

    Jeesh! He reminds me of my teenage difficult child. Her emotions go up and down like that all the time. One day she hates someone and the next nothing happened.
  12. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    He managed to get her to agree to leave, but she is taking her sweet time getting her stuff out of the house...jeez. Listen to this: He wants me to go on FOR him and write to women. Um, no. Do these difficult children ever grow up (sigh). Or learn?
  13. GuideMe

    GuideMe Active Member

    I literally spit out my drink when I read this. Thanks, now I got orange juice all over my screen.
  14. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Isn't that sad? He still wants mommy to get him a date. I mean, you can't make this stuff up.
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