More about friendship

[ML]

Marg's post was very thought provoking for me (as her posts usually are) and it got me to thinking about the friends I've had througout my lifetime. You know, I've been extremely blessed in that area. I've always had a couple of friends who would pick up the phone at midnight and get on a plane. But the handful always changes. As I've moved forward both in terms of location and spiritually, I've found myself gravitating to different friends. I wonder what that says about me, or about them or just about humanity.

I do know that I've not always been the best of friends myself. My issues with depression and life challenges have tended to cause me to isolate and practice periods of self pity. Also, one of my longtime bffs had to drop me a few years ago because she couldn't handle the choices I was making for myself. I married an alcoholic and did quite the dance with codependency and she just couldn't understand why I didn't get out. But I maintain I had to go through that to find the strength I have today.

I think it's important to honor friends of the past but try not to spend too much time there. Now is where it is at. Having said that, I'm reconnecting with a HS bff after 30 years! I'm not expecting us to pick back up but it will be nice to revisit old times and who knows, perhaps we can begin a recycled friendship? Facebook and the like are sure changing the dynamics of things in this area.

Interesting stuff. Thank you to KLMNO and everyone for starting and contributing to this thread.

Love,

ML

 

[AnnieO]

That's an interesting thing... I have not had that many friends in my life that really stuck around.

That said... My childhood best friend (from age 4) lives in TX and we text and email - not constantly, but we're there. When her little brother committed suicide 2 years ago, she knew I'd come if she needed me. She wouldn't let me, though.

Best adult friend lives about 10 minutes away - and I work with her. Met her at a previous job, in fact, about 11 years ago! She and her husband were the only non-blood-relatives invited to my & husband's wedding.

Next best adult friend - met him at that same job, 9 years ago. He's seen me through a divorce, remarriage & acquisition of 2 kids. I've seen him through divorce, remarriage, and 5 kids (4 are bio). We've been distant until recently. He keeps pestering me to get husband out to his house. Oh - and his new wife? LOVE HER! She's so good for him.

And then - I have all these friends on the board, who I can come to and complain, laugh, cry, rant, plot, ask advice, give advice, hug, get hugs...

I never realized how HUGE my support network is, until husband went to jail and I needed it.

All my friends are different, some know each other, some don't. None of them has much in common with the next - except me. They're all there with different experiences, problems, joys - and that kind of seasoning makes life worthwhile!