nvts
Active Member
that we're down in the dumps because our difficult child's are not seen as disabled. I was thinking about the fact that our kids don't have obvious disabilities and we're being looked at as horrible parents who don't have a handle on our kids. (Granted I was thinking about it at 4:00 am after escorting difficult child 3 back to bed for the 3rd time!).
I don't want to sound like a jerk, but our kids are sometimes in worse shape than someone with an obvious disability.
The only way I could get my dad to recognize that my nephew (Aspie!) had a disability was when ye was yelling at him...AGAIN! And I said "if he was in a wheelchair, would you shove him out of the chair, hide the remote and tell hime to change the channel on the tv?". Dead stop, stare, stomp of him leaving the room, and a rude awakening.
People with obious disabilities and are coping are given respect, admiration, love and compassion. They are looked upon as heros.
Kids with behavioral, develpmental, conduct disorders, autism, mood disorders or mental illness are primarily lookd upon as strange, weirdos, dangerous or losers.
When they are coping, they are greeted with "thank God he shut up!"
While it's a double standard, it's not beyond understanding. Human nature is what it is. BUT: think of how hard it is on our kids to not be recognized for doing a great job as opposed to:
1. Finally, he's acting normal
2. Thank God he's settling down
3. What do you think he's trying to get out of me
4. Here's the calm before the storm
5. He'll lose it here sooner or later!
I could go on and on.
I guess the simple truth is we have to love ourselves, love them, run away in our minds every once in a while and enjoy those occasional "breaks from reality" when he's actually:
"Your hero in his mental wheelchair."
Sorry for being philosophical...I think I just needed a dose of empathy for my difficult children!
Beth
I don't want to sound like a jerk, but our kids are sometimes in worse shape than someone with an obvious disability.
The only way I could get my dad to recognize that my nephew (Aspie!) had a disability was when ye was yelling at him...AGAIN! And I said "if he was in a wheelchair, would you shove him out of the chair, hide the remote and tell hime to change the channel on the tv?". Dead stop, stare, stomp of him leaving the room, and a rude awakening.
People with obious disabilities and are coping are given respect, admiration, love and compassion. They are looked upon as heros.
Kids with behavioral, develpmental, conduct disorders, autism, mood disorders or mental illness are primarily lookd upon as strange, weirdos, dangerous or losers.
When they are coping, they are greeted with "thank God he shut up!"
While it's a double standard, it's not beyond understanding. Human nature is what it is. BUT: think of how hard it is on our kids to not be recognized for doing a great job as opposed to:
1. Finally, he's acting normal
2. Thank God he's settling down
3. What do you think he's trying to get out of me
4. Here's the calm before the storm
5. He'll lose it here sooner or later!
I could go on and on.
I guess the simple truth is we have to love ourselves, love them, run away in our minds every once in a while and enjoy those occasional "breaks from reality" when he's actually:
"Your hero in his mental wheelchair."
Sorry for being philosophical...I think I just needed a dose of empathy for my difficult children!
Beth