more drama

muttmeister

Well-Known Member
in the continuing saga of psycho ex-daughter in law who left town with an excaped convict and took the grandkids:

she showed up here today (it's an 8 hour drive from where they supposedly are). I think convict was with her but don't know if the kids are someplace close or if she left them in OK with her brother. In any case, landlord saw her in town so told difficult child to bring the key to the house as he had bought new locks and was going to change them so she couldn't get in. By the time we all got there, she had been and gone. She slashed all of the upholstered furniture (this was a $2000 when it was new about 4 years ago, 3 piece sectional) and stole the new locks, which were on the coffee table. Not sure what else she did. Police were called but were mostly useless.

Apparently one of the reasons they came is that difficult child was served with a protection order to protect THEM from HIM. WTF??? If he wants to fight it or respond, he has to make a trip to OK in December. What a mess!
 

DDD

Well-Known Member
More caring hugs coming your way. It's a big mess and I'm sorry you have to cope with any part of it. DDD
 

JJJ

Active Member
Your son needs to work closely with an attorney. He should be able to file in his county for temporary full custody and an order to return the children to his state, plus all costs involved with returning the children including lawyers fees and dad's expenses to go to OK. He should go to OK in December, work with an OK attorney and get the order endorsed (I forget the legal word) so that the cops can compel the return of the children.
 

Fran

Former desparate mom
Horrible! Those children must be terrified. I'm so sorry for your difficult child and the entire family.
 

Hound dog

Nana's are Beautiful
Keeping them in my prayers mutt. As someone else said, advise son to work closely with a good attorney. That he has been working closely with police all along is a very good thing and will work in his favor. While she can file any order she wants in another state, she will not be considered a resident of a different state for 6 months, which means no divorce for that long at least. (I believe pretty much all states are this way but his attorney should be able to find out) That *should* be enough time to force them via courts ect to bring those children back to their state of residence. If son can get the custody thing settled in his (and the children's official) state of residence before she can file any real paperwork where ever she winds up........Well, it's a chance anyway.

Those poor kids must be scared and confused. My prayers will stay with them. I'll also be praying for you and your son.

((hugs))
 

lmf64

New Member
If he files for custody where you are now, the courts there will have all say when it comes to custody issues. She won't be able to get away with changing things in a different court/different state.
 

Sheila

Moderator
Oh gosh, Mutt!

And the poor little ones.....

I found law force officers to be very unhelpful when it came to personal property. Even my separate property was considered 'community property' in this county.
 

Star*

call 911........call 911
Mutt,

If she's made a trip there? Whose funding her? I'm so sorry. But I think I would find an attorney that is able to practice law in your state AND hers. And I would find out if he can ALSO now (with pictures and a report of what she did to the house) get an order of protection for himself.
 

Star*

call 911........call 911
The furniture doesn't matter but using a knife to "SLASH" -----states anger issues that would be recognized by a judge (possibly)
 
B

Bunny

Guest
Wow!! What a mess. I'm so sorry that your family is going through this. Did your son hire an attorney?
 

muttmeister

Well-Known Member
He is friends with an attorney (an 80 year old "shark" who used to be the head of the state bar association) and has used him as an attorney but he doesn't do divorces. He recommended a friend but that takes a $1500 retainer. We'd have trouble scaring up $15, let alone $1500. And we're not close to anywhere big enough to have legal aid or anything like that. So he is pretty much f***ed.
 

JJJ

Active Member
He is friends with an attorney (an 80 year old "shark" who used to be the head of the state bar association) and has used him as an attorney but he doesn't do divorces. He recommended a friend but that takes a $1500 retainer. We'd have trouble scaring up $15, let alone $1500. And we're not close to anywhere big enough to have legal aid or anything like that. So he is pretty much f***ed.

He can do a lot of this pro se (without a lawyer). Now is the time to fight her in court. If he lets this go for 6 months, he will give her the almighty status quo.
 

Hound dog

Nana's are Beautiful
Mutt, since his friend is such a good attorney............and willing to recommend him to an equally (I assume) good attorney for divorce that is a friend of his, perhaps arrangements can be made via the 3 of them such as difficult child doing much if not all of this pro se with the coaching of the divorce lawyer for a much much lower fee.

When I left Fred and vanished with the kids, then needed to resurface to file for temp custody........I found the best lawyer in the area for such. I didn't have a dime to my name at the time. But when I went for his half hour consult........he wound up more than willing to help me do it myself, the right way, walk me through it so I would not make any mistakes. To this day, I don't quite understand why, but my circumstances were both unusual and "special" (as in something you don't see everyday)........I'd have though it would have had the opposite effect. But he walked me through every single step, even leading me to where to pick up this form and that form to petition the court, how to fill it out, where to file it. Once in a while he drew up a letter for me on his letter head to make it "official" or made a necessary phone call when I needed some muscle. But the divorce that cost me 300.00 cost husband almost 3000.00 and he had a crappy franchise lawyer.........so bad that my guy advised him to seek someone else for his own good. Payment arrangements were made once child support started. No sweat.

difficult child needs to call and do some consults with a few lawyers (including the one recommended to him) who have a good rep for being able to get the job done right without bleeding their client dry. From that list, during consult.....he's looking for someone with a heart, a family man......someone who can understand the situation he and his children have been placed in by this nut job and the criminal she's hanging with. It might be his best bet at finding a really good lawyer willing to help him while working with him as far as payment is concerned by being creative. Know what I mean??

Even if you had legal aide.......you can't wait on them to act.

Has he tried making a report with the local cps where she is now, due to the fact the children are being exposed to a known dangerous felon? Whenever he knows her location, he needs to do so, with make/model of vehicles they're driving as well as addresses if he has them. Gives the cps heads up. And I know the one in Mo was watching for Katie when she arrived, although I have no clue what they did or didn't do upon finding them. I do know she has had a file with cps from that date on in Mo.

He might want to call the local DV shelter and ask for suggestions. His ex and the man she's with are both violent (her recent behavior shows that), they may have some very helpful suggestions. And yes, they help males as well as females.

Tell him to keep working with police.

Praying hard for your little ones.

((hugs))
 

InsaneCdn

Well-Known Member
Has he got any "skills"?
I know a fellow who was an IT tech who did the upgrade (labour only - the firm paid for any software etc.) on the law-office's computer systems for free... in return for a good divorce lawyer.
 
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