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Substance Abuse
More drug problems, just one week after rehab
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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 500092"><p>Oh PV I am so sorry. I have so been there done that!!! Like Nancy I really hoped that with rehab my difficult child would be over his drug problem.... didn't happen but progress is slowly being made I think.</p><p></p><p>Here is the reality.... you cannot control him. He is over 18 and attempts by you to control the situation will be rejected. He will absolutely lie to keep you off his back. You cannot make him give up seeing this girl, graduate high school or stop smoking pot. It doesn't work when you are working harder than he is to find recovery. It really is time to let go and let him find his way.</p><p></p><p>And it is incredibly hard and painful to let go and watch them totally screw up their life with bad decisions and relapses. You probably will have many more sleepless nights... and write us when you do because we have been there.</p><p></p><p>After what we have been through with my son I don't believe you will help your son by letting him stay at home, continue to lie and fool you and con you and get away with it. I agree that getting a hs diploma is important but until it is important to him it won't happen...and you as his parent probably don't have much credibility with him. Not because you shouldn't but because he is 18 and thinks he knows everything.</p><p></p><p>My son was kicked out of the alternative school he was in a couple months before he was to graduate... didn't matter really because he wasn't doing the work anyways. He literally only had a few assignments to finish to pass his classes. The school was bending over backwards to help him because all of us adults wanted him to get his hs diploma... but at that point he just didn't care. It took him being out of the house for a couple of months and other people in his life, other friends telling him you really want to have your hs diploma for him to rethink it. He finally did come Occupational Therapist (OT) us to figure out what he needed to do and agreed to go back to the TBS eh had been previously to get the work finished he needed to finish. To make this happen took myself, the alaternative school and the TBS to all agree and work together and thankfully again all the adults were willing to do that... but it happened because he finally asked us for help to make it happen. And he did it and he did get his diploma. I don't think it would have happened if we let him live at home and if the school let him stay disobeying all their rules as well as ours. Until he talked to friends and realized he was in a pickle himself it didn't happen.</p><p></p><p>I agree with you h.... although I do understand how absolutely heartbreaking it is... it is time to follow through with what you said... it is time to kick him out. He is not going to get help until he wants it.</p><p></p><p>TL</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 500092"] Oh PV I am so sorry. I have so been there done that!!! Like Nancy I really hoped that with rehab my difficult child would be over his drug problem.... didn't happen but progress is slowly being made I think. Here is the reality.... you cannot control him. He is over 18 and attempts by you to control the situation will be rejected. He will absolutely lie to keep you off his back. You cannot make him give up seeing this girl, graduate high school or stop smoking pot. It doesn't work when you are working harder than he is to find recovery. It really is time to let go and let him find his way. And it is incredibly hard and painful to let go and watch them totally screw up their life with bad decisions and relapses. You probably will have many more sleepless nights... and write us when you do because we have been there. After what we have been through with my son I don't believe you will help your son by letting him stay at home, continue to lie and fool you and con you and get away with it. I agree that getting a hs diploma is important but until it is important to him it won't happen...and you as his parent probably don't have much credibility with him. Not because you shouldn't but because he is 18 and thinks he knows everything. My son was kicked out of the alternative school he was in a couple months before he was to graduate... didn't matter really because he wasn't doing the work anyways. He literally only had a few assignments to finish to pass his classes. The school was bending over backwards to help him because all of us adults wanted him to get his hs diploma... but at that point he just didn't care. It took him being out of the house for a couple of months and other people in his life, other friends telling him you really want to have your hs diploma for him to rethink it. He finally did come Occupational Therapist (OT) us to figure out what he needed to do and agreed to go back to the TBS eh had been previously to get the work finished he needed to finish. To make this happen took myself, the alaternative school and the TBS to all agree and work together and thankfully again all the adults were willing to do that... but it happened because he finally asked us for help to make it happen. And he did it and he did get his diploma. I don't think it would have happened if we let him live at home and if the school let him stay disobeying all their rules as well as ours. Until he talked to friends and realized he was in a pickle himself it didn't happen. I agree with you h.... although I do understand how absolutely heartbreaking it is... it is time to follow through with what you said... it is time to kick him out. He is not going to get help until he wants it. TL [/QUOTE]
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More drug problems, just one week after rehab
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