More info and Tony is getting the picture

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by DammitJanet, Feb 8, 2013.

  1. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Well I left off, we have the bug saga which I am going to have to do the majority of the cleaning up myself. No way will anyone else help me as you can imagine. I am taking all my bedding and Billy's bedding to the laundry mat tomorrow. I am also going to insist that Bucks bedding go too and then I am going to spray the mattress and all of his room completely. Thankfully I just got a new mattress and bed today...a hospital bed! I am getting a plastic cover to go over it immediately. I will spray it down though before it goes into the cover. I will also put all the clothes we have into black plastic bags which is what I have been told will kill them after I wash them and run them through the dryer.

    Now on to more interesting things.

    As I have told you before, on Tuesday I pretty much forced Buck out of the house with a pitchfork to go look for jobs. That night he made Billy stay up till after midnight putting in applications on the computer because he has no clue how to use one. One of the places he applied was Burger King. He told all of us (me, Tony and Billy) that he had an interview at Burger King on Wednesday but he stayed in his room all day Wed pouting and supposedly working on his wooden pot pipes he makes. He claims they are "Indian art". He told us that day the interview was for Thur at 4 pm. Well it just so happened that I had two doctors appointments on Thursday and I ended up in Pembroke getting my prescriptions filled at 4 pm....right near that Burger King he was supposed to be having his interview at. I just decided to go by there to see if he was there. LOL. I went in and lo and behold he wasnt. Color me shocked. I made up an excuse to the manager and told her that I was supposed to meet a friend either there or at KFC next store after they had an interview that afternoon and was wondering if they had been there. The manager told me, after checking with the asst manager, that they had no interviews scheduled for that week and in fact, had had no applicants come into the store that week. Hmmmm.

    Well, I went home yesterday and he wasnt home. He didnt come home until long after Tony went to bed at quarter to 10. This has never happened before. Especially since he claims he has no money for gas.

    Billy came home at about 10:10. That is his normal time because of where he works and how long it takes him to drive home. Billy had received a package in the mail and he and I sat in the living room talking about it and the whole Buck situation until about 10:35-10:45...not exactly sure because I wasnt watching the clock. I went into my bedroom and took my night pills and started watching tv but I turned it down low so I could hear the door if he came in. I left my door ajar so I could hear.

    About 11:20 I heard my door open and close. I jumped up put my pants on. In hindsight I should have just kept them but they were sitting on the floor next to my bed so it only took me about 15 seconds and I hightailed it out to my kitchen and I saw him duck into the laundry room and he was trying to stuff things into the washer to make it look like he had a reason to be there. I said...Oh, I heard the door open and shut and I needed to see who was coming into my house considering you werent here when I went to bed.

    He said ...Oh Ive been here since about 10:20 and I just went out to my car to get some mail I left in the car. He claimed that he went to put in his applications at the Burger King, and another place and then went to Wednesday night Church services. Uhhh, it was Thursday. And he hasnt been to church since he has been here. I just nodded and put the info in my mind to decide how to use it. When I got back to my room, Tony was standing there awake. I told him exactly what Buck had said. He just shook his head and said...he lied...F*** why did he lie?

    I went to bed then.

    Well in about 20 more minutes I heard him get back up and go into the kitchen. I was waiting for that one. I walked out there and said Buck I gotta tell you something, I know you didnt go to the interview at BK, and I know that you didnt come home at 10:20. Billy and I were in the living room until around 10:45 and both of us were still awake listening for you to come home. I heard the door open and close when you came in just a few minutes ago. He still claimed that was going out to get his mail. I said No Buck. I know when you came home. I have the ears of a parent who has heard doors opening and shutting for years. No one can get by me. My door was open and the living room door is only 15 feet from my door. Your lying and Tony knows it. It is no surprise to me why you arent trying to find work because I was married to a person who didnt want to work but this is now showing Tony that you really arent trying when he thought you were. You should have thought about that. Keep burning bridges and you wont even have one to rely on.

    He whined to Tony this morning that I was mean to him and said he was at a church revival not at his normal church but Tony doesnt believe him because Tony asked him how he found the revival when he hadnt left the house.
  2. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    Ii hope Tony really gets the whole picture!!!

    About the trash bags. The bags won't do anything, the heat from the dryer will. The bags keep them from being reinfested. If you put your furniture in them, in direct sunlight in the summer, it won't kill them.

    FWIW they like paper too.

    Bedbugs are a PAIN to get rid of. I've survived them...
  3. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    If you're using bags to keep from re-infesting? do NOT tie them... bugs can get through very tiny spaces, even if you think AIR can't. TAPE them shut.... packing tape, for example.
  4. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Well I dont know what we are going to do. I hope we caught it fairly early because I cant do but so much. Im gonna have to clean my room today and tomorrow completely because I got this new hospital bed to put in there but there is no way I can get everything out of the rest of my house. Number one I dont have a shed or garage I could put things to keep them out of the weather while all this was going on so all my furniture would be ruined and I dont have insurance to cover this. I dont mind going through clothing and getting rid of a bunch of clothes that we dont wear. However I have two whole rooms that are nothing but junk rooms that there is no way I can go through myself. No way. My living room has some antique furniture from my mother and I wont put that outside. I wouldnt mind (though it would be a pain) to get rid of the family room stuff because I got it off of freecycle. It was extremely nice though. Microfiber sofa and chair. A rather well to do couple were changing their room colors and gave these to I got very lucky there. I have never had such a nice set.
  5. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    I'm sorry Janet but everything I have heard or read said that this is not something that can be done halfway. You need to get help so it will be done right and not have to be repeated over and over agan. The expense of repeated treatments and the work and inconvience would be over the top for someone who didn't have health issues. _RM
  6. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    Get a mask you can breathe through and spray rubbing alcohol on places you spend a lot of time... We had to do this to Jett's room.
  7. Signorina

    Signorina Guest

    Oh Janet - I am so glad that Tony is starting to see the light :)

    As for the bed bugs, - Bed Bath and Beyond carries a spray for them as well as mattress envelope/protectors to keep them from infesting a mattress. I am not sure the protector would work with a hospital bed though - since it goes up and down. I might hesitate to bring in a new mattress until I knew FOR SURE that they were eradicated from the house.

    And doing laundry that late at night? His clothes must have stunk of something...hmmmmmmm ... wonder what he is trying to hide...

    Glad you are getting a new bed - I know you've wanted one for a while.
  8. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    I wouldn't bring a new mattress into the house for... MONTHS.
    Not until you know for certain that the problem is gone.
  9. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Been worrying about you girl. I had visions of you going after Buckaroo with a ball bat with Tony backing you up with the whole bed bug issue. LOL Might just turn out that way yet. Bed bugs aren't like lice......when they say they're extremely hard to get rid of they're not joking. It's why everyone is so darn scared of getting them.

    Just let Buck keep digging that hole........ hopefully he'll dig it deep enough to bury himself. :)
  10. Hopeless

    Hopeless ....Hopeful Now

    Hugs Janet and I am sorry to say but you need an exterminator to get rid of the bed bugs. It is not cheap but really no other option :(
  11. dstc_99

    dstc_99 Well-Known Member

    I am going to go with the others. Get an exterminator after watching a few shows on this it is not something you can handle alone. It takes massive fire power.
  12. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I dont think I will get the back up on an exterminator yet because so far, Im the only one getting bit. While Tony did say he thought he saw them on the mattress and box spring when he was moving them to the house....and why he even brought them here after seeing that I will never one else has so much as a bite except me. I have tried to explain about how only a certain percentage of the population are allergic to the bites which is why not everyone shows the bites but it isnt helping. Buck keeps saying its mosquitos from outside. Ummm, its winter!

    So Tony is convinced that we can get this done by just doing a little work. He doesnt even think we need to clean out everything. Im pretty much on my own.
  13. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Then as they multiply..........and trust me they will........he will be bitten, Billy will be bitten..........and then you'll get the exterminator and he'll have to pay more because there will be many more of the nasty critters by then. I hate male logic at times. I'd be tempted to toss that article of clothing that fell onto Buck's mattress right onto Tony's bed. LOL (we settled a long time ago that I can be evil )

    I hope you didn't manage to get many inside and Tony's plan works. But I wouldn't get your hopes up.
  14. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Janet, please read this:

    Neem is not pleasant smelling, at least not to me. But I mix a teaspoon with a cup or two of water and some citronella and it isn't bad. It will help keep them away from you, and that is about all you can do. Bedbugs are a major problem, and honestly? Before long Tony will either help or you will have to move. they are THAT BAD. A trailer park near my folks was just emptied of people and all the trailers (eight of them) were burned to the ground because they were so infested and had been treated for YEARS unsuccessfully.

    NEem can keep them away from you and that is about all you can expect from it. I am so sorry and I pray that we are all wrong. THis is a reputable biochemist who was recommended Occupational Therapist (OT) me by an entomologist I know who sent me the link. Neem willNOT harm you at all, it is beneficial for people and not for bugs of any kind.

    They do say that you can sometimes get some help from diatomaceous earth because of the way it kills. It cuts through the bugs' skin and they dry out and die, but you must get every one and that is near impossible. This is a long term problem and you need to do some research on it. sadly, you willneed an exterminator or a new place with all new stuff to get rid of them.

    I hope Tony sees the light soon and he kicks the infestation problem out with the bugs. I bet Buck's car is infested and he will reinfest the house after each time he goes somewhere.
  15. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    One thing I do think we have going for us is that I believe Buck got it from the rooming house and it wasnt there before because if it had been there before we would have had the problem a long time ago when Bucks stuff was here the first time. That means he has less stuff because he got rid of some when he left the rooming home. And a ton of his stuff is in rubbermaid crates. I made him get rid of all the actual fabric items along with the mattresses. I have already soaked all his boxes, crates and table. He also has a few wooden sticks and I soaked them too. Then I sprayed down the wall that the mattress was leaning against and the carpet underneath it.

    Meanwhile I am sleeping in the living room on the couch because Cory brought the baby over for us to keep tonight because he is leaving on Sunday and he wanted to get somethings done last night. Tony is sleeping with the baby in our bed. I cant wait to get my hospital bed set up! But anyway, I got woken up by Buck getting up to go to the bathroom at around 4 am. Okay nothing wrong with that but he has to open his door and slam it shut both going and coming. Does it make sense to have to close your door when you leave your room when you are going 4 feet to the bathroom and everyone in the house is asleep? NO. and do you have to be so loud? Then I had to get up to pee and I notice that his light is on. Huh? Isnt it time to sleep? He complains about not being able to sleep so why isnt he in bed and sleeping. Oh, he has a towel stuffed under the door. Thats strange. I sniff. Hmmm, now Im coughing, strange sweet smell coming out of that room. Ohhh, I know whats going on! Now I dont think he's smoking pot because he gets tested for that at his clinic but I think he's smoking fake pot because they dont test for the fake stuff. People dont do things he does for no reason. He is just strange. He takes the light bulb out of the socket instead of turning it off at the wall, he was saving his urine in the cup instead of getting up to use the bathroom though I havent caught him doing that this time, and now he is stuffing towels under his door. He is really becoming odd.
  16. 1905

    1905 Well-Known Member

    OMG That Buck is such a scammer. It's his whole gig, he's never looking for jobs, what a shame he wasted all Billy's time that night. He is an absolute freak. He's mean that's why he slams the doors, no respect for anyone in your house, even Tony.

    As for the bedbugs, you said you don't have a shed or anyplace to store things. Can you go to Lowes or Home Depot and get an inexpensive shed or 2 to store things in while you clean and to make sure you don't have a re-infestation? You'll have to get everything out to treat the rugs. My cousin stayed in a hotel during a hurricane and got bedbugs, it cost thousands of dollars to get rid of them. They're awful.
  17. donna723

    donna723 Well-Known Member

    Aaaahhh, the old towel under the door trick! We used to do that one back in the sixties! And then we'd burn incense to cover the rest of the smell. Whatever else he's doing, he's smoking something in there that he doesn't want you to know about! Something else I would be VERY worried about if I were you ... you have young children running around that house and Lord only knows what kind of drugs or other harmful substances Buck may have brought in to your home! And I don't imagine he's all too careful about where he keeps his stash or making sure nothing is left where little hands can find them. This is what caused my sister in law to toss his own younger brother out of their house when he had been staying with them. They didn't know he was using drugs until they found a few pills careless scattered on the floor of the room he was staying in. My grandson, Ethan, was 18 months old at the time, toddling all over the house, in to everything, and putting everything in his mouth! They just couldn't take that chance and little brothers young rear was kicked to the curb! I know you're between a rock and a hard place here, Janet. But it might not hurt to remind Tony of what horrible things could happen if one of those grandkids were to find something Buck carelessly left laying around and put it in their mouth!

    I am soooo glad that Tony finally seems to be seeing the light! Honestly, Tony is the one I really don't understand here. I mean, I understand "family loyalty" and all that. But as hard as Tony works, and as much of a toll as it takes on him physically, I would think that he would be furious to see his lazy lump of a "brother" content to just lay around sponging off of him! Maybe Buck's luck is finally starting to run out!
  18. HaoZi

    HaoZi CD Hall of Fame

    He was odd to start with, this is off the hook. WTF. Tony would have to be blind not to see this and glad he's coming around finally.
  19. scent of cedar

    scent of cedar New Member

    Janet, I wonder if one of those hand-held steam cleaners would help? They say the temp has to be 140 degrees to kill them. Steam comes out at 212. Or maybe a hair dryer on high heat? You might be able to rent a steamer. Otherwise, they run about $150.
  20. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Steam sounds like a good idea Barbara! I actually own a floor steamer. Havent used it in years but do have one.

    Tony is beginning to wonder about Buck and money himself. Today he went to get his huge change jar down to get me some quarters so I could go do all our bedding at the laundry mat. For the past several weeks he had been telling me he thought the jar looked like it had been going down but he wasnt sure. Well when he started looking for quarters he was sure. There were hardly any quarters in the top layers he took out. Tony and I both empty our pockets out every day and throw all our change in there. Normally that jar cashes out at between 180 and 200 bucks. Right now, someone has taken a bunch of the quarters and left it with just dimes, nickles and pennies. Tony knows who he thinks it is and for the first time in history he isnt blaming Cory. Tony has been refusing to buy Bucks cigarettes and told him that if he needs to smoke he needs to find a job to pay for them. Cory told him to buy the loose tobacco and roll his own because its cheaper. However Buck always seems to have his regular cigarettes and he has no job. He also has gas to go in his car. Interesting isnt it?

    Im not really worried about the kids going into the room Buck stays in while he is here. He keeps that door shut at all times. I also tend to snoop around in there whenever I get a chance. I actually worry more about McKenzie in my room. I taught Keyana from a very young age not to mess with my stuff but then she was a totally compliant child and McKenzie isnt. Keyana would die before she would disobey me, especially about stuff I told her was important.