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<blockquote data-quote="Awakening1990" data-source="post: 748646" data-attributes="member: 22012"><p>Hello everyone, I have a 29 year old son who lives in another state and has a major drinking problem. Over the years I have done the tough love thing, learned how to detach with love, learned how to be emotionally supportive and loving without jumping in out of fear and panic to save the day. It still doesn't make it any easier when the crap starts hitting fan. I am a mother in recovery from addiction and codependency for some years now and even though I can spot a liar and manipulator from a mile away, it blows my mind with how my son can play that game with me while here I'm thinking we're collectively having a breakthrough. Evidently, I was having one while he was not. Once again I want it more than he does. I feel disappointed and angry that I've been lied to and manipulated again. Then I think to myself, why? He's an alcoholic without recovery - why would he do anything else? Of course, part of that disappointment and anger is because It just shows me how deep his illness really goes and that makes my heart break once again. I guess it's back to detaching again. As a parent I just hate to have to have that protective guard up at all times so not to enable him and not to hurt myself. I'm tired and I miss not having a "normal" relationship with him. You all know what I mean. No matter what, I will always have hope that his journey will bring him to the rooms of recovery life. Good to be able to come here and get support and encouragement. TIA</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Awakening1990, post: 748646, member: 22012"] Hello everyone, I have a 29 year old son who lives in another state and has a major drinking problem. Over the years I have done the tough love thing, learned how to detach with love, learned how to be emotionally supportive and loving without jumping in out of fear and panic to save the day. It still doesn't make it any easier when the crap starts hitting fan. I am a mother in recovery from addiction and codependency for some years now and even though I can spot a liar and manipulator from a mile away, it blows my mind with how my son can play that game with me while here I'm thinking we're collectively having a breakthrough. Evidently, I was having one while he was not. Once again I want it more than he does. I feel disappointed and angry that I've been lied to and manipulated again. Then I think to myself, why? He's an alcoholic without recovery - why would he do anything else? Of course, part of that disappointment and anger is because It just shows me how deep his illness really goes and that makes my heart break once again. I guess it's back to detaching again. As a parent I just hate to have to have that protective guard up at all times so not to enable him and not to hurt myself. I'm tired and I miss not having a "normal" relationship with him. You all know what I mean. No matter what, I will always have hope that his journey will bring him to the rooms of recovery life. Good to be able to come here and get support and encouragement. TIA [/QUOTE]
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