More issues with- difficult child UPDATE

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by susiestar, Aug 5, 2007.

  1. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I knew difficult child was not doing as well as my parents thought he was. I just felt it. :sad:

    Today difficult child was helping husband move some furniture. difficult child told husband that he had won a nintendo ds at the anime convention he went to yesterday. I heard difficult child tell easy child that he BOUGHT a nintendo ds on wed. I wondered where he got the $$$ They are expensive and so are the games and wifi cards (which difficult child also bought).

    I called my mom to tell her that difficult child has had the game system since before the anime con. Neither of us could figure out where he got the $$.

    husband had the joy of sitting down with my parents and difficult child to talk about this. difficult child just kept digging himself further into holes. husband finally asked, point blank, "Are you gambling?"

    difficult child turned white and stammered a while. Turns out he is gambling, we think on Magic the Gathering stuff, maybe on other stuff.

    difficult child is also making weapons. :devil: My mom signed him up for a blacksmithing class. Today they found several blades all cut to the same size. Look like scissor blades, and we think he is making throwing stars or knives. He may be selling them to other kids.

    difficult child has been borrowing $$ from Jbird. She never has a whole lot, but anytime she has some difficult child "needs $$ to help a friend".. Yeah. Right.

    difficult child is cutting again, or so he says. If he is it is in an area covered by clothing. Probably legs as he won't wear shorts. Why can the boy not figure out that when he starts doing stuff he shouldn't, then he starts cutting again??? If he keeps his nose clean he doesn't cut. :hammer:

    I fear it is only a short time until we again hav the police involved. :crazy2:
  2. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts


    Sorry to hear of the downward spiral - has he seen psychiatrist recently for a medication tweak?

    Keeping a good thought for you & yours. Hope these changes in difficult child doesn't de-escalate the rest of the family.
  3. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    What was grandparents reaction? Any consequence from them?
  4. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I'm sorry to hear he is struggling. Hugs.
  5. WhymeMom?

    WhymeMom? No real answers to life..

    Sorry to hear this, hope he can straighten up......sending strength and peace to you....
  6. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    So sorry that your difficult child is making some bad decisions.

    How is he gambling, at school, or online? Can that be nipped in the bud by some restrictions? I have to say that is an awful lot of money to make gambling for a kid, just curious how he went about doing it. My first thought when I read your post was that he had stolen it. I guess it is good that at least that did not happen.

    Has he made references to his weapons as if he has intent to do something harmful? Or does he refer to them as collections? I mean, on the hopeful side, some kids just like weapons, but never have an intent to do anything with them. Not sure of your history, but just thought I would throw that out there.

    I hope he is at least able or willing to see a therapist, and that he/she can help with all this. Sending best wishes your way.
  7. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Thanks for the support ladies. To answer the questions:

    1. He was seen last Monday for a medication tweak. I really do NOT like his psychiatrist, but I do not deal with him. Gpa &/or Gma does. They live with him (difficult child can't live with us because I will NOT be beaten, nor will I see my daughter be beaten. :warrior:)

    2. I still wonder about theft. I did call ALL of the stores that sell this stuff to see if they were missing a nintendo ds or games. None of them were.

    3. Gparents were very upset. He is not allowed to leave the house with-out Gps, Gma, husband or I. He is not allowed to go to the bookstore or the game store (role playing games) at all. He has to work off the $ he conned out of Jbird :grrr: and for the things he used to make the weapons.

    4. He has always been fascinated with weapons. To a very scary degree. He may have plans to use the weapons, or is providing them to friends to use.

    Ny dad will use hard labor (cutting brush, other yard work, scrubbing things, etc...) as part of his consequences.

    We think he is gambling on Magic the Gathering games. I am firmly against allowing difficult child to play the various card games, but I don't make the rules. They just lead to scary, risky, and unsafe behavior. My parents always thought I was over-reacting, but maybe now they will see the light. He has a very hard time telling reality from the fantasy in the cards. When he is plying the card games he starts to feel like he has to have weapons, because he might be attacked by one of the characters. :thumbsdown:

    difficult child said he was betting on things like " I bet a dollar you won't put a staple into your arm". But we haven't got the whole story yet. You can't get over $200 that way. I am wondering if he is using drugs. I don't see any signs, but I don't see him daily.

    difficult child is a very tough nut to crack. He is an excellent liar. It took 3 months in an inpatient facility to get him to admit to trying to kill his sister and to hurting her and I viciously.

    Thanks for the prayers, support and good karma.


  8. Janna

    Janna New Member


    I'm so sorry to hear he's struggling. At least gma and gpa are enforcing rules and consequences. It has to be hard on them, too.

    I hope he's able to stop cutting. You know, the SI world is a very different world that I could not and did not understand. I have been talking to alot of teens that cut lately, and really, it's a realm you and I will never fully understand. I hope he gets help.

    Sending hugs,

  9. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Susie, hold on to your seat. I have a feeling you are going to see a lot of changes coming if Gma and Gpa enforce this punishment. It could truly open their eyes.

    Fingers crossed difficult child learns from this, but I am not feeling it.
  10. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    Whew.............yea, it sounds like gma and gpa have just opened the proverbial can of worms. All of difficult children stories do not sync up in my book. You just don't get that kinda money gambling as a kid unless he has a bookie and is betting on horses, or playing poker! Which I doubt!
    He is dealing drugs. Which would be also why he needs the weapons.
    He stole the Nintendo from a kid/friends house. They are so new on the market, they are all gonna look new.

    Despite all the details, which I am sure will be uncovered soon, I am sending good karma your way..............and hoping that gma & gpa can turn him around swiftly.