Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
More of my mother's musings..........
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="scent of cedar" data-source="post: 607776" data-attributes="member: 1721"><p>This is interesting, Recovering. It makes sense that the nature of the emotional exchange would be determined by the mother. Resentment, however well-concealed, will call certain responses. Anger will call certain responses, protectiveness, overwhelming (smothering?) love....</p><p></p><p>Worry. Worry, and the "you should feel bad for how worried I have been." Which is something I heard myself stressing with difficult child daughter until I was certain she had heard me.... </p><p></p><p>If we mirror one another's emotions, and if one of us begins reflecting clearly...the other reflects more clearly, as well.</p><p></p><p>There is something here too about old habits, maybe having to do with our own mothers, and about fresh air.</p><p></p><p>And I think you are right that the only way to get there, to get to that place where the air is clear, is to develop ourselves without regard for who we were supposed to be. Or who anyone else (say a child) was supposed to be. What if there were no suppositions?</p><p></p><p>And isn't that what is meant by forgiveness?</p><p></p><p>Not something dark and secret that we have to transform, but a brightness, an easy letting go....</p><p></p><p>It is interesting that you see your daughter recognizing, and becoming familiar with, missing pieces of her own puzzle.</p><p></p><p>Changing one piece of the system changes the others, so Bradshaw said.</p><p></p><p>Thank you, Recovering.</p><p></p><p>No guilt.</p><p></p><p>Healthier, and better, for all of us.</p><p></p><p>Without resentment.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p><p></p><p></p><p>So this is an interesting way to think about all relationship. The emotional tone involved in reflecting clear, happy light.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="scent of cedar, post: 607776, member: 1721"] This is interesting, Recovering. It makes sense that the nature of the emotional exchange would be determined by the mother. Resentment, however well-concealed, will call certain responses. Anger will call certain responses, protectiveness, overwhelming (smothering?) love.... Worry. Worry, and the "you should feel bad for how worried I have been." Which is something I heard myself stressing with difficult child daughter until I was certain she had heard me.... If we mirror one another's emotions, and if one of us begins reflecting clearly...the other reflects more clearly, as well. There is something here too about old habits, maybe having to do with our own mothers, and about fresh air. And I think you are right that the only way to get there, to get to that place where the air is clear, is to develop ourselves without regard for who we were supposed to be. Or who anyone else (say a child) was supposed to be. What if there were no suppositions? And isn't that what is meant by forgiveness? Not something dark and secret that we have to transform, but a brightness, an easy letting go.... It is interesting that you see your daughter recognizing, and becoming familiar with, missing pieces of her own puzzle. Changing one piece of the system changes the others, so Bradshaw said. Thank you, Recovering. No guilt. Healthier, and better, for all of us. Without resentment. Cedar So this is an interesting way to think about all relationship. The emotional tone involved in reflecting clear, happy light. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
More of my mother's musings..........
Top