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More Planning, More Worries on Guardianship details
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<blockquote data-quote="Hound dog" data-source="post: 584441" data-attributes="member: 84"><p>I don't know much about your difficult child. But I can say that Travis at 17 and Travis at say 20 were totally different. </p><p></p><p>At 17 he was still lagging terribly behind and impulse control seemed to be something he would likely not be able to grasp. Travis at 20 was behaving closer to where he should've been at say 15-16.......things were beginning to take hold. Impulse control was still somewhat of an issue but not as severe as it had been. (he also pilfered food in vast amounts) But I was seeing changes, maturity. By 22 he went off to college alone to live in a dorm. He did the entire process of enrolling ect himself. (if my kid wants to go it's up to them to get it done, not me) It took him 2 yrs of trying, but he finally completed the process and set off to college. Now this was a campus set up to accommodate handicapped students and the dorms he used were for those students with non handicapped roommates to help them out. Still, the bulk of responsibility rested on his shoulders. He had to purchase his own food, manage his own money which was an extremely tight budget, get himself up to class ect. Scared me to death. But I'm proud as punch to say he did it, and did an amazing job. Shocked us and himself. It wasn't easy and he did far more maturing ect in that semester than in years prior. </p><p></p><p>Now at 26, Travis is far more progressed/mature than he was at 17. The impulse control is not really even an issue these days. That strict budget taught him self control the hard way. Many of his old behaviors are gone or so minimal that they really aren't noticed. While at 17 the thought of him attempting to live alone scared the heck out of me, and he could not have managed it, at 26 he would do fine. He might be a hermit, but well......whatcha gonna do? lol </p><p></p><p>I guess what I'm trying to say is that it might be too soon to decide that your difficult child will never be able to become independent in any sense. Could be she is still lagging far behind her peers and if given enough time and the right circumstances or motivation would eventually catch up. </p><p></p><p>Travis is still obviously autistic and he still has his other dxes of course that cause him issues. But I no longer think of him lagging behind his peers. He's an adult who is autistic, which makes him a very different adult than others. But if he chose he could manage to live independently quite well even given his other disabilities. At one time I did worry I would need to seek guardianship, I'm glad now that I kept putting it off. </p><p></p><p>Hugs</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Hound dog, post: 584441, member: 84"] I don't know much about your difficult child. But I can say that Travis at 17 and Travis at say 20 were totally different. At 17 he was still lagging terribly behind and impulse control seemed to be something he would likely not be able to grasp. Travis at 20 was behaving closer to where he should've been at say 15-16.......things were beginning to take hold. Impulse control was still somewhat of an issue but not as severe as it had been. (he also pilfered food in vast amounts) But I was seeing changes, maturity. By 22 he went off to college alone to live in a dorm. He did the entire process of enrolling ect himself. (if my kid wants to go it's up to them to get it done, not me) It took him 2 yrs of trying, but he finally completed the process and set off to college. Now this was a campus set up to accommodate handicapped students and the dorms he used were for those students with non handicapped roommates to help them out. Still, the bulk of responsibility rested on his shoulders. He had to purchase his own food, manage his own money which was an extremely tight budget, get himself up to class ect. Scared me to death. But I'm proud as punch to say he did it, and did an amazing job. Shocked us and himself. It wasn't easy and he did far more maturing ect in that semester than in years prior. Now at 26, Travis is far more progressed/mature than he was at 17. The impulse control is not really even an issue these days. That strict budget taught him self control the hard way. Many of his old behaviors are gone or so minimal that they really aren't noticed. While at 17 the thought of him attempting to live alone scared the heck out of me, and he could not have managed it, at 26 he would do fine. He might be a hermit, but well......whatcha gonna do? lol I guess what I'm trying to say is that it might be too soon to decide that your difficult child will never be able to become independent in any sense. Could be she is still lagging far behind her peers and if given enough time and the right circumstances or motivation would eventually catch up. Travis is still obviously autistic and he still has his other dxes of course that cause him issues. But I no longer think of him lagging behind his peers. He's an adult who is autistic, which makes him a very different adult than others. But if he chose he could manage to live independently quite well even given his other disabilities. At one time I did worry I would need to seek guardianship, I'm glad now that I kept putting it off. Hugs [/QUOTE]
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