So I thought I was going to handle these things ok, but they really set me off. Anxiety to the max. I made calls to 2 potential new psychiatrists for difficult child as the current one will be leaving within a year. After I made the first call I was so anxious I was sick to my stomach and shaking. took my anxiety medication, I have not had to do that in months. We have been with this psychiatrist for 3 or 4 years, and I really am not looking forward to changing but feel I will make a better choice if I do it now rather than wait for the last minute. I am also getting ready to apply to the nursing program here for the third time. I have been working on my short answer questions and about have them done. I took them up to the college and had a writing tutor look over them for the 2nd time. Before I did that I have had countless people look at them, a manager whom I am friends with at work, and organization that gave me a scholarship (that I had to turn down last year as I did not get in the program) to name a few. My grandfather's health is declining, and I helped my mom set up in home care for him. It overwhelms her, and I am very familiar with how that works so I am very involved in his care. They have both supported me so much, that I just cannot not help them. He is on hospice, and who knows how long he has left. He is like a father to me as my father is a waste of air. This is all of a sudden hitting me. We are tweaking difficult child's medications, and things are much better but may need more adjustment. I hate medication changes. Of course I saw my therapist today before all this, and it was not a big deal then. Now? Yeah, a big big deal. After I got back from the writing tutor I took another anxiety medication. My heart is pounding and my thoughts are racing. Please, God, don't give me anything else for a while.