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<blockquote data-quote="flutterbee" data-source="post: 209035"><p>I agree with <em>The Explosive Child</em>. It has helped many of us tremendously. Another book recommended (though I haven't read it) that members have had good results with is <em>Love and Logic</em>. I believe <em>Love and Logic</em> has a website, too. Susiestar knows more about that. </p><p></p><p>I totally understand being apprehensive about living with difficult child. I'm the bioparent of mine and there are times *I* often don't want to live with her. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" /></p><p></p><p>I admire and respect you for recognizing your boundaries and recognizing that this is something you may not want to live with. You and your DF (dear fiance) have to be on the same page and I firmly believe that he should be responsible for all discipline as it is his son. Many kids resent a step-parent coming in and making rules and doling out consequences. I know I did as a kid. *Hated* it and I made sure everyone in the house knew it. (I was 11 when my mom remarried.) For our kiddos with issues, it can be 10 times worse. However, that doesn't mean that you can't talk to your DF about the behavior, how it affects you and your child and how it should be handled in a private conversation. Just that he should be the one to act on it.</p><p></p><p>I hope you'll find the support and advice you need here. Welcome to the board. It's a wonderful community for parents of our kids.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="flutterbee, post: 209035"] I agree with [I]The Explosive Child[/I]. It has helped many of us tremendously. Another book recommended (though I haven't read it) that members have had good results with is [I]Love and Logic[/I]. I believe [I]Love and Logic[/I] has a website, too. Susiestar knows more about that. I totally understand being apprehensive about living with difficult child. I'm the bioparent of mine and there are times *I* often don't want to live with her. :winking: I admire and respect you for recognizing your boundaries and recognizing that this is something you may not want to live with. You and your DF (dear fiance) have to be on the same page and I firmly believe that he should be responsible for all discipline as it is his son. Many kids resent a step-parent coming in and making rules and doling out consequences. I know I did as a kid. *Hated* it and I made sure everyone in the house knew it. (I was 11 when my mom remarried.) For our kiddos with issues, it can be 10 times worse. However, that doesn't mean that you can't talk to your DF about the behavior, how it affects you and your child and how it should be handled in a private conversation. Just that he should be the one to act on it. I hope you'll find the support and advice you need here. Welcome to the board. It's a wonderful community for parents of our kids. [/QUOTE]
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