Morning Blues

[babyblue31]

Hello all I would say (good morning), Buts its not for me my boyfriend didn't go to work again today and car insurence and rent are due next week.. I've been looking for work but with no phone they can't call me back. I would like to touch base with some of you about my son (cleaning) his room, all he has to do is put his toys, in the toy box, and put the dirty clothes in the basket. Thats all!! I do the rest.. I believe it teaches them resonible.. Well it's 7:15 am and my stress level is already through the roof. Had to take a pain pill this morning my neck was killing my, I could barly move it and my doctor says it's do to stress.. I had test done and there's nothing else causeing the pain.. Sometimes I wish there was.. I tired so I'm going to try to get somemore sleep, before the little one gets up.. later

 

[4sumrzn]

I'm sorry your morning isn't off to a good start. Hopefully you will get some rest & things will brighten up for you today

 

[nvts]

Hi! Hope your morning gets a little better! I know that financial place very well! It really svcks to be in that position.

As far as cleaning his room, make it a race. Give him the first job (cleaning up the toys) and bet him a nickle that you can get YOUR job done (something stupid like making your bed, dusting the tv, something nearby so that you can see or hear what he's up to) before he can finish his. When he wins, say "oh no way!!! are you sure? let me see!" go look and go off about how there's NO WAY that he can get the clothes in the hamper before you finish YOUR job. Then do the same bet, lose and give the "attaboys" to him after he finished.

Kids love to win against Mom. It's biological!

Let us know if he does his jobs!

Feel better!

Beth

 

[Christy]

Baby Blue,

I've been reading your posts and you sound like you are under too much stress. You mention that you family lives far away. Seek out the help of local child and family or social service agencies for parenting support classes, job training, and possibly financial support. It does not sound like your boyfriend is helping the situation.

This is a great place to vent our frustrations but it is also a place to encourage one another to take action. I hope you will seek out the help you need.

Wishing you the best,
Christy

 

[tiredmommy]

I'd like to add to what Christy said by telling you to contact the local school district to get him enrolled in pre-k and tested for special needs.

 

[witzend]

all he has to do is put his toys, in the toy box, and put the dirty clothes in the basket. Thats all!!

That is probably more than you can expect from a four year old to do unsupervised. I can't get my 48 year old husband to do it unsupervised.

As you are not working and at home, you need to break it up into small groups, and be there to pleasantly supervise so that he can see that it's actually small jobs that can be done. "Let's see who can pick up the most socks for the basket!" "Who can get the pants into the basket first?" "I can pick up more toy cars than you!" No yelling or disappointment at his failures on your end.

To expect a four year old to go into their room and pick up their toys and clothes and put them away on their own isn't age appropriate. Are you receiving any any state aid? You might benefit by contacting them or a local church or Salvation Army to see if they offer any parenting classes? It's probably hard to know what "age appropriate" behavior is when you don't have family nearby to guide you.

Do you and your son participate in any type of therapy? You say he has ADHD but no medications. What is the reasoning for no medications? If there is trouble with funding, the best place to start is with the school district. Your son is old enough for "Head Start". The school district will have educational, medical, and therapeutic opportunities for you and your child. I hope that you will contact them and enroll him at the earliest possible moment. As you have no phone, you should be able to do this through the internet.

A final word of advice, you seem to be at the point where you are dreading every moment with your son and expecting everything to go badly. For him and for you, you have to approach each day with the knowledge that not everything will go wrong, and that even the things that went wrong in the past have a chance of going right today. Negative thinking taints the way you approach him, and he absolutely knows it when you expect him to fail.

 

[babyblue31]

I would like to sat thank you all so very much. I have tried to contact the headstart program here in my town and no one returned my calls. Now with the phones being off I can't contact anyone. And you are right he's not helping.

 

[witzend]

I understand that getting help is difficult to do when there is no phone, but that can't be a reason to not do it. You have an internet connection. You could research local churches, schools, agencies, etc. that offer help in your area and apply for help online and/or take a bus to talk to them. Or borrow a neighbor's phone. You can pick up a throwaway phone for $15 - $25.

It's more difficult than if you had a phone and money, but it's not impossible.